So Guilty

21 Replies
sunshinekitty240 - May 4

im still smoking sometimes as much as a half a pack a day... its so hard. i just had a family member die. i quit for a week before and now im back to it and its so freaking hard all i want is for the baby to be healthy but its so hard. i dont even know if im looking for feedback i know how bad it is.... i just need to tell someone because i am guilty to the point of tears... its sop hard when a loved one passes away.


Hi - May 4

So sorry to hear of your pain sunshinekitty240.I don't really know what to say but keep your head up.I know how hard it is to lose a loved one.I was a widow at 24.Came as quite a shock.I wish you the best .Take care and god bless..


Twinmom2be - May 4

Yes, it is hard to loss someone you love so why would you want to cause your baby pain????? I am sure you know how smoking during pregnancy can lead to low birth weight, preterm labor and other issues. My sister in law smoked with her son and now he has all kinds of breathing and weight problems. You are pregnant now so it is time to start thinking about your baby instead of yourself.


lovemy3 - May 4

Smoking is an addiction and it is very hard to quit. I am a non smoker but understand how hard it would be. There are lots of bad things though smoki ng does to your baby. Low birthweight, placenta accrete which can be life threatening to both, a whole bunch of stuff that I'm sure you are aware of. How about cutting down a little bit everyday and until you have quit. Even after you give birth there is the issue of SIDS if you smoke around your baby and then the issues of b___stfeeding. So it would be GREAT if you could quit. I know you love your baby and it is hard. I have compa__sion, do your best and really think about the consequences. God Bless


Stace - May 4

Have you thought of trying hypnosis,?I've heard its really good in helping you to quit. I wish you every success hun and never ever stop trying to give up Good luck xxx


old timer - May 4

hi sunshinekitty240 it is hard to lose someone close to you , yes it is hard yo give up smoking i smoked for 20 years and gave up 3 mth ago i had two children while i smoked there fine, any way i gave up by smoking herbel f__gs instead there horrible and stink but they worked for me if you need any support while giving up i will stand by you i no what your going though am 4 weeks preg now take care


Been There - May 4

Sorry to hear about your loss, Sunshinekitty. It's has to be hard, especially when it's something that you a__sociate with relieving stress and now you're faced with it. I hope you find the strength and the tools to get you through this time.


sunshinekitty240 - May 4

ill quit again... i dunno, sometimes you just need to vent because you know how bad it can be but you still do it... i think only a smoker could really understand... twinmom2be, thanks for trying but your post felt like a kick in the teeth. obviously youve never been addicted to anything. and no i didnt know that stuff about smoking i felt guilty to tears for no reason. thanks.


Jamie - May 5

It is possible to quit smoking, I smoked a pack a day for ten years and quit during my pregnancy. We (my DH and I) were given Zoloft...for 2 weeks, we took 25 mg, and continued to smoke. At the end of those 2 weeks, we quit smoking, and took 50 mg of Zoloft per day. We only took the 50 mg for 1 week before we both felt we no longer needed it - and neither of us has smoked since.


oz - May 5

hi im sorry to hear about your loved one pa__sing however you need to quit now. I have never been a smoker but a work collegue was and when she fell pregnant she stopped. I asked how hard it was and she said it just wasnt an option and she no longer could think of herself and had to put the health of her baby before her own needs. Another friend of mine really annoys me as her and her husband both struggled to fall preggo and she always said she would quit when she fell pregnant but she hasnt. I speak to her on the phone as she lives in a diff state and last time we spoke she had 3 smokes in less than an hour and it really annoyed me. Think of your baby and do it now. If you cant go "coldturkey" at least start reducing them until you can go a day without one. You CAN do it. GOODLUCK xx


Jamie - May 5

oz, no offense, but you don't know what you're talking about. You yourself said that you never smoked, so you have no idea what a struggle it is. I'm sure you're not perfect either, so please get off your high horse.


lynnstress - May 5

I'm sorry for your loss. I know when I am stressed or upset, I smoke more. I cut back on smoking significantly while I was pregnant. I don't smoke in the house or my car - that alone can help you to smoke less. Don't use any of the over-the-counter stop smoking aids, like the patch or gum while pregnant, because they contain even more nicotine. I have posted this many times before, so here goes again: What really helped me was knowing that cinnamon and lemon flavors work on the same taste buds as nicotine. Dentyne Fire gum is great. If you put your mind to it, chewing that can replace your smoke! I know how hard it is, but you can do your best to cut down as much as possible if you find you can't quit. Good luck.


Suebee - May 5

sunshinekitty240...I was a smoker and I lost my mother almost 5 yrs ago so I can say I know what you're going through. It is really hard to quit smoking especially if you use smoking as an emotional crutch. That's what I did. I quit before she died for 6 mos cold turkey, then when she was doing really bad I couldn't cope so I started again. I'm not going to tell you how bad smoking is when you're pregnant because you already know that. I'm just going to say, you have to find something else that will help you heal emotionally. Don't use the cigarettes because it's only going to make you feel worse. I quit again after my mom died, cold turkey, and have been smoke free for just over 3 yrs now. Look, you can do it so why not try now. Cut down to a few a day until you don't need them anymore. My sil smokes, had a baby prematurely at 4.5pds and thank God she's fine. She's pregnant again and is still smoking albeit she cut down, so I pray that this child will be ok to. Not trying to scare you, just showing you that complications can arise... good luck sweetie and I hope you'll be able to finally quit ok... Good luck with your baby!


mandee25 - May 6

Two of my closest friends are pregnant right now and they are both STILL smoking and it is quite frustrating because I want to talk to them about it but if I try I know they would get angry with me, possibly because they know it is so WRONG! Also, I am 12 weeks 1d pregnant and if someone smokes around me without asking me if I mind it IRRITATES the hell out of me so much I feel like grabbing the cancer stick out of their mouth and stomping on it. I find it SOOOOOOOOO rude!!!


littlemama1022 - May 6

Oh yeah, and the hypnosis thing- doesn't work. It does for some, but it didn't for me,my mom, and a few other friends. We went and paid to have it done and in the same day we were smoking again.


kelley32 - May 6

I started smoking at 14 years old, biggest mistake of my life ... anyway, I always said that I would quit when I got pregnant, well, I didn't ... I thought that I couldn't, to be honest, I didn't even try, but I did manage to cut down to about 4 or 5 cigs a day. My daughter was born at 7 lbs 3 oz and scored great on apgar score ... upon examination of my placenta doctors told me that they could tell I was a non-smoker because of it's beautiful condition, go figure. I am not condoning smoking while pregnant, or smoking at all, all I know is that it is d__n hard to quit and take back control of your life, but I did ... I felt so guilty from smoking during my preganancy that I swore that I'd quit with the next one, and I quit 2 months before I conceived this child, and you know what ... I have never felt better in my life, what an accomplishment, I am so proud of myself. Ask your doctor about the patch (mildest dose, of course), I know it's not recommended during pregnancy, but I'm sure that it's better than smoking itself. YOU CAN DO IT!!!! XXOO


frankschick2001 - May 8

Wow, I am sorry you are having such a tough time lately. Maybe try reading all of the side effects of smoking. It's not just low birth weight or premature babies. Clubbed foot is another side effect. Facial abnormalities too. Later on in life they can have a learning disability or be tempermental. Also, children of smoking moms get sick more often with ear infections, colds, respiratory infections. You do not want to have this child and end up at the pediatricians office every other week with another illness. The effects of smoking on the fetus are so numerous that some activist groups are sprouting up to try and make smoking cigarettes while pregnant a legal issue, so you know it has to be pretty bad. There is even new evidence that suggests a link between neo-natal smoking and criminal behavior (when the child is older). I know all of this can be argued, of course, but why take a chance? There is NOTHING we can do to ensure a helathy child, but there are some things we can control. Smoking is one of them.



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