Stay At Home Or Working Mom Which Is Best

31 Replies
Pondering - April 26

Hi ladies! Just want to know your opinions on this. Is it best to stay at home and look after your kids full time? OR, Is it better to return to work after some months and set your child the example that women should be independent and have good careers? Thoughts please! Thanks.

 

leslie - April 26

1000% stay at home mom!!

 

Jbear - April 26

You might look into the cost of infant daycare...it definitely affected my decision. Where I live, full day daycare was about $1000 a month, which meant it wasn't really worth me working. I think if you stay at home, you need to find things to do, make friends, etc. The first six months I was home with my daughter I was extremely lonely. A baby's a lot of work and not much company at first.

 

P - April 27

I f I can figure out a way to stay at home I will for sure. I live in Canada so I've got a year to figure it out. Any suggestions? :) I think it may help that I absolutely despise my job... Unfortunately I'm single and it pays very well. Arghh!! Wish me luck please!!

 

Jamie - April 27

I'm going to be a SAHM, when my little girl is born - my husband and I are both in the military, so it's a bit easier for us - the Army gives us extra money for having a dependant, which compensates for the loss of my income; but, if I wanted to stay in, child care would be provided, too.

 

Maleficent - April 27

i'm a stay at home mom. we make alot of sacrafices so i can be home but for us it's worth it. you can set an example no matter what you choose. i'm very independant. my husband is in the military so for us, since he would be home so little it was important for at least one parent be devoted to the kids during their baby and toddler times. when our youngest starts school i'll be starting school. i want a career, but for now the kids come first. i wouldn't trade them in for a career, but i have friends who work and wouldn't trade in for my job either. :o) you have to find what works for you.

 

Sonya-edd 10/12/05 - April 27

This is a tough one. I know so many people that struggle with this. With my first, I went back to work after 8 weeks. Partly because I wanted to but mostly because we couldn't afford not to have my income. During that time my mother watched my son and that was nice, but I still longed to be with him. When he was sick I felt guilty for being at work. When I was home with him, I felt guilty for not being at work. Then when he was older in preschool, the same thing happened. When he had cla__s parties or field trips I felt guilty for being at work then when I was with him I felt guilty for not being at work. It was awful. This time I am going to be staying home. Actually I already quit so I am enjoying being home already. Luckily our finanical situation changed for the better and we made sacrifices. Refinanced the cars, got less cable, eat out less and clip coupons like crazy. I am so looking forward to being home with my baby. It is a personal choice though and you will know what is right for you and your family.

 

Jenb - April 27

I am home with my son during the day but have a part time job in the evening 3 nights a week. My husband watches him while I work. We have definately struggled financially because our income was cut in half but I wouldn't do it any differently. Anyway, as Jbear said, the cost of daycare eats up so much money you need to make a lot to gain anything. I feel for women that want to stay home and don't have the choice. Whether you work or not, being a loving and dedicated parent is the most important thing. As for setting an example, being a good mother is nothing to sneeze at. I have never had a bigger challenge...or a job that I have been prouder of. When he goes to kindergarten I will go back to work but until then, I am all his. :0)

 

Sam - April 27

That's a toughy. Jbear has it right I think. Daycare where i live is anywhere from $300/week to $500/week! I can't afford that!!! I'm going to try to do the SAHM thing. I dont know though. i am not a sit at home kind of person.I dont know if i'll be able to handle it. I''m thinking maybe i'll take a couple of cla__ses at the local college. you can take some of them online. Maybe i'll even make that garden I've been putting off....

 

SAHM - April 27

stay at home-i want to see my kids grow up! (when i finally get pregnant!)

 

Fabienne - April 27

I'm now 32 weeks pregnant and a while ago, I decided to stop working. I'm going to stay at home and raise our little boy. I want to see him grow up. Now, I'm aware that my husband has a good situation and that not everybody can do it. Day care is so expensive though that I feel I'd go to work to be able to pay it so...It is a personal decision and a tough one to make. Think about it a lot. My view is that our babies need us. I was raised by several nannies and have suffered a lot emotionally from it. But then, that's me and the situation I was in. If you have someone else take care of your baby, please make sure they're going to do a good job (although I'm aware that's hard to know...)

 

Julie - April 27

I think it depends on your career and who will care for your child. It is a personaly decision. I stayed home and do miss the real world and adults. Daycare is too expensive and I do not have a close family member to care for my son. I also didn't want to put him in daycare. I love staying home but do miss the interaction with other adults. My children will never be this age again. I plan to return to work full time when my kids are in school.

 

viv - April 27

I would love to be a SAHM, I think it is definately the best thing for the kids. Unfortunately in our situation I have to work, hubby is in college(he took a few years off and finally went back) and he's on the golf team on a full scholarship so he can't work hardly at ALL, so my income is pretty much all we have to live on. :o( Hopefully after he gets out of college he will get a good job so I can quit working and stay home with the kids. And like everyone else said, daycare is so expensive, I really don't know how I am going to pay for it, I am still working on that problem...

 

KEEKEE - April 27

I'm a stay at home mom. It's the greatest job!!! I love it. My hubby and I save money on child care for two kids. I know my kids are taken care of and safe( I have personal issues with daycare). My kids know me. They are not calling some else mom..I also never miss out on their development.....Its the hardest job on earth but also rewarding. Good Luck on your decision.

 

Heidi - April 27

Were does everyone live that daycare is so expensive?!?!!?!? I'm in a small town and my friend charges $2.25 an hour just like the rest of the daycares in our county. I have to return to work as we cannot make it on one income and it will cost me about $400 a month for daycare. I'm sure I'll hate it but I have too good of a job to give up and once the kid is school age I won't have to pay anything as we both work 7-3 pm so the hours are great and we both have great vacation and paid sick benefits so I'm going to stay put here. It's a government job so we get tons of time off paid!

 

lilmum - April 27

well i just couldn't leave my little one after my 1yr. maternity leave was over, so i started a dayhome. Depending on where you live and what kind of care you want, infant care can run anywhere from $430 - $1000 a month. I run a dayhome now, and the parents i work with only pay $430 a month for 50hours a week. it's really decent for them, and with a few kids, i make some good money. Daycare is more expensive, but if you are eligable for subsidy, you get more at a daycare than dayhome. My parents with full subsidy only pay like $130 a month.

 

Sam - April 27

Heidi, i live in a tiny little tourist town in NM. There's only a couple of daycare places in town so they can pretty much charge what they want. Bummer.

 

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