Teen With A Baby And A Question

11 Replies
Jake - July 15

I know this is a site mostly for moms, but i need to know some stuff. My girlfriend is 18 and i'm almost 19, we're pregnant, and i jjust enrolled for college (freshmen). Is it going to be to hard for me to live with a Job, School, A baby, and everyday pressures? i want the baby really bad, and we are having it, but should i go through school? Also, none of our parents know, and we still live with them, how should we tell them, when should we go to the doctor, and last but not least, when will she be completly noticable? cause she's already getting big. we have never been to the doctor and shes been preg. for atleast 3 months, Is that bad for the baby?

 

chelsey - July 15

I think that having a baby is a tough job ANYTIME! You do realize that going to school is one of the best possible things you could do with your life, and your baby's. Furthering your education, will help you to get a better job, and give your baby the best things it needs. (Geez, I sound like a Mom). Telling your parents? Thats a tough one, how do you think they will react? Happy? Mad? I think both you and your girlfriend should sit down together, and tell whose ever parents are going to take it the easiest. They'll help you find a way to tell everyone else. But remember, you are both adults now, make it known that this pregnancy is important to you, and you are serious about having a baby. Your girlfriend should be seeing a doctor about once a month already. For check ups, and any blood work that needs to be done. Size is hard to tell. Depends on how big or little she was to start with, how much weight she gains etc. I say though if she's already getting big, she will only continue to do so! Good luck!

 

Jess - July 15

I just wanted to say good luck to you guys. You sound mature and caring, I'm sure that you guys will find a way to work this out. My only concern is that she see a doctor asap. It could be confidential if thats what you guys decide. Prenatal care is very important for the baby and the mommy to be. Good luck with everything, let us know how you guys are doing.

 

Melissa - July 15

You're about in the same situation as me. I'm 18, 11 weeks pregnant and I am going to try to work and go through college while my boyfriend will be working and going through school too. We are really happy and will definitely keep the baby, too. We told our parents when we first found out, and it really would be best for you to tell them b/c then they can start helping you. You are both 18, so they can't really do anything - and take your girlfriend to the doctor. She probably has a gynecologist which is probably an OB doctor too (mine is) - so take her there. Also, you might want to think about WIC (EXCELLENT PROGRAM!! GIVES YOU LOTS OF HEALTHY FOOD DURING PREGNANCY AND LOTS OF STUFF AFTER THE BABY IS BORN!!!) Also, public a__sistance maybe? If you both have jobs you can probably afford an apartment and get on Section 8 (sorry, I dont' know where you live but in IL we have section 8 where you pay rent according to your income). Well, I hope this helped - feel free to contact me, we're going through the same things! Good luck!

 

klm - July 15

Please get her to a doctor ASAP and make sure she is taking Prenatal Vitamins, they are extremely important at this stage of the babys development!!!

 

Julz - July 15

I'm not sure what to say. You're in a really tough situation. I find it hard just to work full time and take care of my children, but to have to go to school on top of that is EXTREMELY difficult. The first thing you NEED to do is see a doctor. Then you need to ask yourself A LOT of questions (and I don't mean to come off sounding like a nag here) Do you have insurance? If, not How will you pay for you maternity care and delivery, and well baby visits/immunizations? What will your schedule be like after the baby is born? Will you get any help?.....etc. I hope I didn't sound like a nag, but it is a HUGE responsibility to take care of a baby, and I really hope you are up to it. Ditto goes for your friend, but shame on her for waiting so long.

 

tara - July 15

Both you and your friend need to see a Doctor. There are some tests that nee to be done to make sure the baby is okay an growing. They need to listen to the heartbeat, set you up with ultrasounds and so on. It is extremely important to see a doctor once a month until your 3rd trimester. I know telling your parents is a scary thing right now, and noone can predict what thier reaction might be. But they have to know sooner or later and it's better to get if out of the way now. I hope they are supportive and unerstanding. I can tell you that you may not like thier first reaction but just remember that with a news like this they will be shocked and maybe upset...just give them time to let it sink in and go from there. As for school, work, and a baby life will be tough for you for a while, but hopefully if your parents are supportive they will help you out. And that's what you can tell them...let them know that you have made your decision about keeping the baby, and you wnat to finish school. You know that it is going to be tough and you would prefer to have thier support for you and thier grandchild instead of fighting them all the way. All the best.

 

tara - July 15

oops...i meant to say your girlfriend needs to see a doctor

 

Stacy - July 16

You really should start getting everything out in the open right away - it sounds like you have major decisions to make (where are you going to live?) and you need to start making them now. You could always go to school part-time, but try not to put it off completely - you might not have the opportunity again.

 

Your a good Man :) - July 17

First of all congrats on the baby. It is a HUGE responsibility, but just by the way you said "we're pregnant" and you mentioning going to school I think you will be fine. JMO but going to school is one of the most important things you can do to provide the "best" for your child, even if it means long hours working, school and studing. Where there is a will you will find the way. Wow, I really do sound like a mommy now! As far as the doctor ? She should really start her prenatal care now since she hasnt gone already that way you will learn more about the pregnancy as you go and you can make sure the baby is ok. Its not bad for the baby @3 mths, the doctors normally dont see anyone until the woman is 8-10 weeks along anyway unless there are previous problems and then they would want to see her sooner. But it is REALLY important for her to go now. And for her to be taking vitamins. If she doesnt have prenatals yet, she can take flintstone vits until the doctor gives her a script. Do you have insurance? That is a big thing. IF you dont and you are on a low income your girlfriend can probally qualify for your state insurance plan at least until the baby is born.EEEK, telling the parents.. Well, I can say at 24 I was still scared to tell my parents that I was pregnant because they wanted me to do all that I wanted first before having children, but once I told them they were very happy and now are wonderful grandparents to my almost 3 year old and are looking forward to another grandchild in Nov.But it is best to tell them now. Im sure since you 2 are young at first they arent going to be happy, actually they are probally going to be mad, but htey will get over it. If she is already showing hten it is only a matter of time before someone picks it up and then they will probally be mad because you didnt tell them. Are you 2 planning on living together? Good luck.

 

Stacy - July 17

Call 1-800-496-BABY they can help with appointments and many other things you are worrying about

 

Crystal - July 19

Jake- I have two more semesters until I graduate and I am pregnant with my first child. I was really scared to tell my dad when I first got pregnant and I am married and haven't lived at home since I was 20. I am nervous about going to school and taking care of an infant at the same time. However, I believe the more education I have, the better life I can give to my child. I am fortunate enough not to have to work because my husband can provide for all of us. Lots of community colleges offer night cla__ses or have fast track degree programs that help with working adults. For example, I live in OK and at Redlands Community College they have a specific Gen. Ed. a__sociates Degree that you can get in one year instead of two. Also, at Southern Nazarine University they have programs that are specifically designed for working adults and the cla__ses are offered in the evenings a couple days a week. There are all sorts of means of finacial aid for students with children also. Apply for finacial aid through the FAFSA website. Now that you are having a child, you can claim yourself as an independant student and it won't matter how much money your parents make. The less money you make, the more finacial aid you can qualify for. Another option would be to take your time getting through school. My dad was married to my mom and had me and my sister all before he recieved his Bachelor's Degree. He worked two different jobs and went to school at night. He also went on the get his Master's Degree three years later. My mom had to work two jobs also to help put my dad through school. My sister and I spent most of our time with different family members during this time. But by the time my dad was finished with all of his schooling, he had a great job and my mom was able to me a stay at home mom starting form when I was in the 2nd grade. If you and your girlfriend love each other and work together, then you should be able to accomplish anything. Best of Luck! P.S. You are the same age as my little brother and you sound like you have a lot better head on your shoulders.

 

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