Trying To Cope

1 Replies
rockstar_girl3 - April 5

I am 26 years old and my husband and I have been together for about 10 years, married for 4. When we started dating, he told me that he could not have kids because he had a vasectomy. I was 17 and thought that I would not want kids. I had a friend whose son had died in a house fire a year or so before that and I thought that I would never want to set myself up to have that kind of heart ache. But as the years have gone on my heart has changed and I find that more days than not I want to have a baby, not just a baby, but a child. I want that so bad. My husband (who is almost 40) has two children (17 and 20) and the oldest has two kids of his own (2 and 5 months). When my step son had his first baby I thought that havin a grand kid would be great. And let me tell you, it is. I love that little boy so much. Then, this January, my husband thought I was late for my period. When I took the pregnancy test and walked out of the bathroom to wait for the results, he tells me that if I am pregnant I better have a girl (he has 2 boys). I was kind of shocked, for the last ten years he has told me over and over that he does not want to have kids. So now I start praying that the test is positive.... what are the odds when he can't have kids.... Well, anyway, the test was negative (no suprise), but it starts something in me and all I feel like I can think about is having a baby. I feel like I am driving myself mad. What I am looking for is how to deal with this? How do you deal with wanting to have a baby. I am not trying to change my husbands mind, because I knew where he stood the minute we started dating. And he knows that I would love to have a baby. I just want to know how to cope and if this desire ever goes away. If you are going to tell me to leave my husband, please do not reply, because I love my husband more than anything and have no plans on leaving him. I just do not want to feel like I am crazy anymore.


Grandpa Viv - April 7

Your mothering instinct has kicked in full force. It is totally understandable - your only stab at immortality. Your husband seems to have an inkling of what is going on. Discreetly open up a conversation or two on the subject. "Did that mean you might be able to handle another child if it were a girl?" "Oh my goodness, what an adorable baby!" Try to get him to the point where he says "Ah, yes, if it were not for my vasectomy". Then you can steer the conversation to ways to fix that - reversal, AID, his brother etc. Sympathy and GL!



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?