Who To Be In The Delivery Room

19 Replies
Leahp - May 9

Hi ladies, just wondering who you had in the delivery room with ya. My husband just wants it to be me and him, but my mom is a nurse and I would kind of like her there to make sure the nurses are doing what I have on my birth plan. What should I do, my husband is taking it as if I'm leaving out his mom and other family then. Should I have it be just the two of us to keep the peace and quite?


~kat~ - May 9

personally id rather just have me and my bf(when we finally do get pregnant!) but if you want your mum there then he should respect your desicion as its you thats going through this,but at the same time i can understand him wanting it to be just the two of you.good luck


monica - May 9

Hi I want my husband and my mom and if my sister could be there I would want here there too. But my husband mom I would not want there. Anyone else I would start feeling a little shy.


jb - May 9

I just had myself and my husband. I think it is such a great bonding experiance for the family. Have your mom in with you until you are ready to push and then tell them to go into the waiting room, that is what we did.


Justine - May 9

Leah - I think its up to you who you have there - it's you who's going through it after all. I would hate my MIL to be there - can't imagine anything worse as she'd be constantly giving advice/telling me how much better she was. I'd like my Mum and my husband there - people who make me feel relaxed.


Jenn.... - May 9

I really wanted it to be just my husband and I. I thought it would be really special if it was our own moment to bond as we begin our family. But my brothers wife had a baby a few months ago and my mom was there for the delivery, I saw how much it meant to her and I started feeling really guilty about not having her in the room. Plus she kept hinting about how much it would mean if she were there, so My mom will be there too.


Maleficent - May 9

with my frist i had just my mom. my husband (finace at the time) is in the military and was up in alaska when the baby was born. with our second it was just dh and me and i loved it! we're doing it just the two of us again. there is some middle ground when it comes to who to have with you. your mom could be there to offer comfort during labor and enforce your birth plan then let you and your husband have the delivery you want. if she's a nurse i'm sure she'll undersatand.


April - May 9

I definately want my mom in there with me... my sister had her in there with her and she was awesome... my sister kept forgetting to breath.. haha.. and her husband was too interested in what was going on to remind her... plus he was there to help hold her leg.. while mom was up by my sister's head kinda helping her breath and stuff... I wouldn't want the father's mom in there though, cause it's just not the same. It's not that you would be leaving his family out... but your husband has to realize that labor is a VERY hard time.. and you should be able to have the people that you want in there and that's it... if he was the one going through the pain then it wouldn't be a problem for his mom to be in there... that's the way i see it anyway


Alicia - May 9

I post on an inlaws board and babycenter and have seen stuff similar to this asked a lot (only the mil's think they should be there) and the women there suggest asking your DH if he would like to have your mother in for a rectal exam or prostate exam, or if he would rather his mom or yours. It's different for your own mom to be there but for most of us we aren't that close to our mil's and that would be very awkward. Good luck in your decision and I hope you have a great delivery!


leslie - May 9

I may love my bf soo much but I don't want him there or anyone else from the family, just the doctors and nurses..I always do things better by myself.


TX Girrrl - May 9

I've only had my husband present. We've shared some nice, private conversations and moments as a result.


Grumpy - May 10

I want my husband and if my labor goes on for quite awhile i'll want to see my mom but no offense to my dad not him and NOT!!! my In-laws she already tried inviting herself in and to my ultrasounds!! URG that woman!


Davida - May 10

We are so close in my family that I cannot imagine NOT having my mother, any of my sisters and my too older children there for this one! Usually the men don't want to be around for this kind of thing. I don't think I would mind them being in the room as usually people aren't standing at the foot of your bed with their faces in your "business" like that! I will say that my 2nd labor was 5 long (for me!) hours and by the time she was ready to be born, I didn't care who's face was where! My mom and sisters still love to tell my kids how they were right there when they were born and I love that we all share the memory of it! I'm due just before Thanksgiving this year and hope they still will be able to be by my side as my husband and I welcome this one into the family!


Maddie - May 10

I want my mom and my husband in there with me, but I up at my head, NOT LOOKING DOWN THERE! I do not want my husband seeing all the blood and gore that goes into pushing a BABY OUT OF YOUR VAGINA!! Sorry, I think that might kill the romance for us in years to come. I just want him to see them take the baby out, clean him off, and gently place him in our arms! =) It seems much more happy that way.


leslie - May 10

Maddie, I totally agree with you!! I think that after looking at a baby(blood, placenta, gooey stuff etc.) come out thru their fav place in your body they are never going to look at it the same way..that is why I say I want to be there by myself and no one else.


sheena - May 10

I want my husband to be there to see the pain iam going thru to have our baby.My mom and maybe his mom no one ele.The only reason his mom is because we are really close.


Katharine - May 10

I only wanted my husband there, but once I was actually pushing, a marching band could have come through and I would not have lost focus! My parents showed up in the hall and my doctor (who knows them) asked if I wanted them there. I answered in what I'm sure was a "posessed" voice that I didn't care. My mom was actually wonderful (never would have dreamed it) and narrated the birth (even though I don't think she knew she was doing it). My dad was not prepared to be there and was mortified. He would look, then would turn red and hide behind the curtain. That is always going to be one of my favorite "Dad" memories. This time, I hvae signed the paperwork to allow them to be there, but have told them that I may not want them there, it just depends on how things go this time. We will play it by ear. I know they want to be there, but am going to base my decision on my comfort level during this birth.



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