Would It Be Wrong For Me To Do This

25 Replies
Holly - May 26

Hi everyone - my hubby and I decided about 1 year ago to try and have a baby. Nothing has happened I have not gotten pregnant yet. Last weekend he decided that it was too stressful to try anymore. He can't handle me being upset every month when we find out were not pregnant. I totally understand this, I just can't help it if it is a dissapointment every month. Anyway, now he wants to wait a couple of years before we try again. I am not willing to do this. My clock is ticking. I was thinking that I could still try for us, and not let him know when I am ovulating or when I find out I'm not pregnant - I won't tell him therefor he won't be stressed out. Then when we do get preggers, it will be a nice surprise for him. What do you all think about this? I know he wants a baby too, but I have this little voice in the back of my head telling me that this is pretty sneeky. I don't want any of you to think I am a bad person or anything, I am just desperate to have a baby. Please let me know what you think! Thank You

 

**** - May 26

I DONT THINK SO. IF HE WANTS A KID TO THEN WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL. WHAT HE DONT KNOW WONT HURT HIM. GOOD LUCK

 

Denise - May 26

Have you guys tried just having s_x for fun but after your hubby ejaculates don't be in a rush to get up and moving. It's quite nice anyhow just let him hang out for a few still inside you. Hope I'm not being too graphic. We tried for our second for a long time with no success however when we stopped trying so hard and just enjoyed the experience we finally succeeded!!! Good Luck

 

Tas091299 - May 26

I say go for it, unless he will be able to tell that you are disappointed,

 

Christina - May 26

I say go for it too!! The others are right, he wants a baby too so there is no big deal. The only thing I would worry about is you will be the only one getting disappointed IF you don't get pregnant and won't be able to get support from him when you are upset. Good luck to ya!!

 

Tigerphoenix - May 26

you know what...My sister went through all the stress when she decided to have her second. Her and her husband went nuts trying (not that he minded much lol). Finally they both agreed to stop trying for a while. BOOM!!! After all the stress was gone she got pregnant. The point is stop trying so hard and getting worked up. This could be what is preventing you from conceiving. Relax all will come in time. BTW I know it sounds kind of unnerving but have you and your hubby gone for fertility tests? You could try that too.

 

Heath - May 26

There is this cream I'm not sure the name but it is supposed to lock onto the sperm and help it on its way. Try looking into that, myabe your dr might know about it.

 

littlemrsb - May 26

I agree... I think it is all in God's timing, but it is really stressful when you're trying so hard, and that can throw off your cycle too. I went and saw my best friend for a week and when I came home my husband and I missed each other so much, and he was all "stocked" up from me being away for a week! :) I don't think being sneaky is a good way to go though. If you're going to have a baby together, it needs to be TOGETHER - ya know? Maybe you guys just need a break from trying, and just see what happens. Good luck and God Bless you.

 

colleen - May 26

I don't think anything is wrong with that. Afterall as along as you are both trying, and you're not trying to get pregnant behind his back then I don't see the harm in that.

 

m - May 26

doesn't sound sneaky at all, really. sounds like you're doing him a favor. What's funny is that's when most pregnancies occur, is after you throw your hands in the air and say "i'm tired of trying!" ~ suddenly you get pregnant! Just don't stress yourself out during your ovulation predicting methods, and possibly still getting your period every month. Have you both had fertility check ups?

 

karen - May 26

I hear so many people say they get pregnant when they stop trying, or people say they are just going to "stop trying" for a while. How do you do this? I know my cycle and after tracking everything, I know I would still be thinking about it. It seems impossible to just not think about it. Does this make sense? Has anyone here had luck with that?

 

to holly - May 26

I think he may have said "only " because of his let downs too.. I personally would just relax,. ,try not to think abt "is this the month" and go about your normal life.. believe me, it will happen when u least expect it to :) did to me, and I did it off one (1) tube..gl hon

 

Tracy - May 27

Holly; I don't know if this will help, but I will tell you my quick story. My husband and I tried for our 2nd one for 8 months, and nothing. I told him "let's not worry about it", and I just continued about my way. The only thing is I did my BBT chart so I knew when I was ovulating too. So I did something the last month that I did not do before. I put a pillow under my b___t so the little swimmers could swim with ease, and I also did NOT pee until the next morning. It was hard, but I think it has something to do with it. I told a friend to do this, and she was pregnant that same month (she was trying for 1 year). It could not hurt!!! Good luck, and pray!!!

 

Tracy - May 27

Sorry; I forgot to include that I could pregnant that month, and I am 12 weeks now.

 

Sol - May 27

He seems ok with the idea of having a baby so I'd say: go for it. I don't think it is sneeky at all. Try to relax as much as you can (i know...it's easy to say !)

 

Holly - May 27

Thank you all sooo much!!! I feel so much better about the whole situation now!!! I think it may work! You never know, we are going on vacation!

 

To Tracy - May 27

Tracy, I have read about other people putting a pillow under their b___t too, so I may try that. But I have also been told that you should pee within 30 minutes of s_x because if not, you increase your risk of bladder infection. Do you really think it helps to wait that long, or would 30 minuts be enough time?

 

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