Can T Leave Baby Alone With Daddy

13 Replies
Anyonefeelthisway? - January 18

I have a 3 month old, and I'm afraid to leave her alone with my husband. I don't mind at all being with her 24-7 and taking her everywhere I go, but I am worried he will insist I leave her one day. He is the type to be very impatient and road rages and gets ill if a store line is slow. I have seen him get ill with her twice in the last couple weeks and thats when I was here with him. I was cleaning up so he was holding her. She got wiggly and fussy because of a burp and after a couple minutes he sort of yelled at her in a harsh tone "stop freaking out!" and he had an awful angry look about him. He is a wonderful guy. He's never been violent and we don't even argue, but I'm worried he doesn't have the patience to tend to her alone. What do I do if he ever wants to keep her home while I have to go somewhere? I just don't want to risk her safety or comfort. I wouldn't think he would ever do anything to hurt her in a million years, but you just never know. Besides, him getting angry and yelling would frighten her, and thats bad enough :(


Laurel - January 18

If he's that great of a guy, that he's never actually violent or anything - then you should just talk to him. My husband has a horrible temper, and I flat out told him, that it's childish, and he absolutely cannot be around our baby if he's going to act that way, because it scares me. He straightened up very fast. He still has to really work at controlling his anger and impatience, but he is getting better. He just had no idea that it was bothering me so much, so now he thinks before he acts.


Erica - January 18

I know exactly how you feel, only it's with MY dad, the baby's grandpa. he lives alone because my mom and him split when I was 1 and my brother was 3. He is exactly how you described your husband to be and he always asks if he's going to be able to baby sit sometimes. I just don't think I would be a good mother if I left my baby alone with someone that impatient and angry. I don't think I'll be able to let my dad babysit because I would be worried all the time. I don't know about your situation though because he's the father... I hope you get it all worked out. It sounds like Laurel's advice worked god for her husband, so maybe you should try it for yours too. But I know that my dad is 48 years old and he's not going to change.


missy - January 18

My husband also has a very bad temper but in no way would he ever do anything to harm me or our son. He has learned through the years to control his anger alot!!! You trust your husband right? He has never hit you? Then I would trust him with baby . Just let him know how you feel, I tell my dh all the time when he is being childish!!!


k - January 18

take the baby with you, even if he says he will keep her... just say oh honey I have her and just leave. It shouldn't be a big deal. You never know what may happen, the baby may start crying and you know a baby can have a fit at any given time and it lasts for a bit. So, until he learns to control his temper take her with you. Talk with him and tell him how it makes you feel when you see him act this way and that she is a baby and crying is the only way she can tell him what is wrong with her. Let him handle her more when you are together, especially when she is crying, it will help him to better understand what she needs and if you see him getting angry, offer advice and a hand.


mom2 - January 19

remember that dads generaly have less patience than we do and they also handle the kids diffrently than we do. That never changes even when the kids get older. If you feel he wont hurt her than just remind him that shes just a baby sometimes i think they forget that they dont think past hungry, dirty diper and hug me, hes new at this so help him along and also suggest a daddy and me cla__s or go to a parenting cla__s together they help explain a lot to our husbands and because its not comming from you he will probibly be less defensive about listening. Good luck1


angi - January 20

hi anyonefeelthisway, i am living over in the uk and their was a story in the paper the other day and here it is.........a 3 month old died due to being shaken, her mom was so tired for the first time she left the child with her father and went and laid down about 30 minutes later he came and woke her up with the baby in his arms, she had blood coming out of her nose and was very lifeless. They rushed her to the hospital and found she had sever damage to the brain, it was bleeding all inside, she died 4 hours later. they asked what happened and the father said, she was crying and i could not get her to stopp so i shook her! If you feel unsafe leaving your child, then do not leave them! you have a mother's instinct so listen to yours.


anyonefeelthisway - January 20

angi, there have been way too many stories like that here recently. Men don;t understand that they don't need to focus on trying to make a baby stop crying, but they need to take care of its needs. They get so intent on the crying part that they lose control :( I trust my husband, but I don't trust "what ifs" so my baby will be with me wherever I go, and she will be asleep when I am. At least until she can talk and tell me when anything is wrong.


Lupe - February 27

From my experience do not leave her with him alone. you will never know what goes in his mind . you say he is impatient so don't take a chance. don't leave her with him


anne - February 28

I agree with the last poster. I'm sorry but he doesn't sound like a great guy. If you cant trust him with your daughter and have seen signs of him losing his cool like that then i would very much suggest to you to leave the situation. you should think about your daughter and not him. that little girl deserves peace and quiet and someone stable in her life. not fair on her at all.


Olivene - March 2

Trust your instincts. See how he is with her as he gets more practice. You would be miserable with worry if you left her with him. If he asks you why you don't leave her with him, you may just have to, as calmly and clearly as possible, tell him the truth. Ladies, we should watch these generalizations! All men are not so impatient. I know some really, really, great guys who are better at the patience part than the moms are. This is an unfortunate situation, but it isn't because the father in this situation is just being male. Anyonefeelthisway- Please be careful!- your baby is most important!


kel - March 2

i totally relate to you. my boy is 4 months and i cant leave him with his daddy either. im just not comfortable with it. im only i i have him or my mom. i wish i wasnt like it but i cant help it. is also very impatient


Mommy - March 3

My husband rarely has our kids, too. He is not violent at all, or even have much of a bad temper. The problem is anytime I go anywhere, 20 minutes after I'm gone, I get a call from him saying "the boys are crying and they won't stop, I don't know what's wrong..." Of course I come home to see the problem, usually they need a nap. But, because of that I rarely leave them. If you are worried at all, don't chance it. Sorry about your situation, I know how much it sucks to not get 20 minutes alone. Better to be safe though, then worried. I hope things get better for you.


oz - March 9

Wow its so sad to hear how so many women dont trust the fathers to be left alone with the baby. I know he may not have been violent in the past but if he is showing these signs i say you should speak about this straight away and seek professional help if necessary. Your child is only 3 months old and there are going to be times (if you like it or not) in the future where he will have to be with the baby by himself for a period of time and you dont want to have to be worried about whats going on. Sit him down and tell him your concerns and if you see him speak to the baby in a bad way again SPEAK UP!



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