Feeling Very Alone

11 Replies
Carmen - January 26

Well where do I begin, I am 5 mths pregnant and have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. He never wanted children and I was told I would never have kids.. well guess they were wrong, when i told my boyfriend i was pregnant. he was not happy. Gradually he has come around abit but still I feel so alone and lately I have been pretty depressed about my relationship. He has always been very harsh to me and says that I am too sensitive but that is the way I am. I really dont feel that he loves me and he is always nit picking at me for everything and makes me feel like I can do nothing right. I feel like he never wants to be around me and would it be too much to ask to be spoiled once and awhile . He wouldnt know romance if it hit him in the head....He is very cold and has trouble expressing himself where as I am so super passionate and have no problem communicating.I have tried to talk to him about this but he does not think he does anything wrong and says It is all in my head. Maybe I am alittle emotional because of the pregnancy. But heh why should we settle for someone when we feel they do not treat us the way he want and deserve to be treated. I just want to make sure that we are solid and that things are good before the baby comes because i do not want to raise my baby in an environment that is not loving and happy. I am really considering leaving him but because of the baby I feel I should stay no matter what. Not to mention I have no where to go If I leave as the house as it is in his name. Lost and Confused, dont know what to do..?? Please help someone click to: respond to this topic


to Carmen - January 27

Hey Carmen, how are you? do you need someone to talk to about this? good luck.


saktaw - February 3

carmen, how are you? hope your okay. good luck


neva - February 4

carmen, i understand exactly how you feel. my boyfriend is so upset with me cuz i won't get an abortion because he is not ready and since it wasn't planned. He hasn't called, doesn't want to see the baby nor does he want the baby to know he is the father. i hope it works out for you.


wendy - February 5

hello, the worst thing you can do is stay with someone because of the baby. trust me if you do that it will only get worse. stay with him only b/c you love him and he loves you. but it sounds like you deserve better!! when my baby was 3 months old i left her daddy, and didnt have anywheres to go, but luckly for me my best friend took me in and i got a job, and 6 months later we bought a house and we are doing fine today, 4 years later, and i am soon to be married. just never let yourself think you cant do it! b/c you can!!!!!!


KM - February 10

It sounds like your relationship is unhealthy if you are having feelings that you are not getting the attention and pa__sion that you need. You should talk to him about, maybe even some relationship counselling might help you guys start communicating better and be able to tune in to each others needs more.


Sammy - March 20

Carmen... If you would like to chat about this, I would too! I am goin through the exact same thing.... I am facing the same decision you are...only We rent, and the house is in my name... I would love to read updates on what you decide to do, or offer my two cents where ever I can for you. If I can't be supported while I am going through this from my bf, maybe if I can help support someone else it might help someone else as well as myself. Glad to know I am not alone... we'll make it regardless!


CHRISTINE - April 23

I think everyone has given you pretty good advice here. You need soemone who will stand by you through this time. You dont need the added stress. I think some time apart might help you decide if this is right decision. It going to be hard being a single mum but we women are strong and we all through it. Hang in there girl and be strong for yourself and your new baby. Your little baby will make up for the sadness you are feeling now.


Tiara - June 12

I am in the almost same situation. I have been im y relationship for a yr and 2 months and i cry everyday. I feel the same way as you do adn think that way also. I honestly dont know what to do. I feel like if i cant count on the father to be there who can i count on?


Jamie - July 5

I am kind of in the same position. I just turned 19 last week and I am six months pregnant. My story is a little different because I got pregnant by someone that I was not really with - we had an ongoing (rocky) relationship for months before and he kept leading me on and telling me that he was going to be with me, and well I do think he loved me he is very messed up in the head and does not know how to show love or, more importantly, respect for someone else. When I told him I was pregnant he wanted me to get rid of it and stopped talking to me. I too was told by a couple doctors that I would never have kids, and granted I'm young I already love my baby very much and do not want to take the easy way out, whether I have to do it alone or with him. Just like you said he started to come around as well about three months ago - he even moved in with me for a little while and was very excited. He acted like he really care but I still had my doubts - he never wanted to feel the baby move or talk about the future. He recently made it very clear that he wasn't going to change and I decided I couldn't be in a relationship with somebody who wasn't going to make any sacrifices or committment. Even though he is two years older then me I felt like the responsible one and that he wasn't taking this seriously. Sure enough when I broke it to him that I wasn't going to stick around for him to walk all over me and come and go and do as he pleased things changed for the worse. He now refuses to even speak to me and is taking his anger out on the baby. Once again he wants nothing to do with it and says that I just trapped him. What I want him to realize is that even if we can't be together this baby has never done anything to him and deserves to have his father in his life (if he can be a good father), it is simply not fair to take his anger at me out on his son. As far as trapping him that is a lame excuse in my eyes - he knew I wasn't on birth control and made the decision first of all to have s_x and second to do it unprotected. I feel very deeply for you. It is very hard to know what is the right thing to do, the best advice I can give you is listen to your heart. It sucks more then anything to be lonely, but soon you will have a beautiful child to focus on. Don't sell yourself short for this man. If you think you deserve better then you do, and better things will eventually come, most likely when you stop looking. As far as having nowhere to go I can't tell what would be best but if there is anywhere you can go where you will feel loved and wanted and content then that is where you should be. Everyone needs help sometimes and hopefully you have people in your life that are willing to help you and your baby (I'm sure you do). I wish I could meet you myself - I really do feel for you. Keep in mind that there are many services out there available to mothers.


reply to Carmen's situation - September 13

Carmen, I am sorry to have read this so late, it being September & all, if you're pregnancy went well and you had your baby (which I hope that's what happened). From what I read when you were 5 months pregnant is/was not a good situation. I won't get detailed with my problems with my relationship, but I would like to leave my advice. You did not say how old you are, but really. no matter what age, you still have YOUR whole life to live - with your baby. If someone is not there for you emotionally, I know, it is difficult. I hope you are not with this guy if things are still down in the relationship. If he hasn't changed, and you are still with him and you now have the baby, you are better off leaving him. Possibly talk to your doctor and they can help you talk to the right people to get on your own feet - like getting your own place to live and help with your baby, daycare services...all kinds of stuff. I had to contact my local Department of Job and Family Services - they were a great help. You can't change people, epecially if they are the one with the problem making YOU think and feel you are the one with the problem. Do you really want your baby having this guy as a role model? Well, I do not want to go on and on because I do not know if you all are still together or what, or if you even check this message board, it has been a long time. I hope you check it, if so, I will talk with you more...Hope you found help and already are on your way to a happy relationship with your new baby!


mr - October 15

Why the heck u with this guy when he sux?? Anyway can run away and join the circuit..



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