How Can I Deal Wit This

7 Replies
Brian - May 20

This is the problem. My wife had s_x wit my best friend before we got married but, while we were together. She is 17 weeks pregnant and does not know if it is mine or his. Me and my wife had discussed this and I have chose to stay wit her. But I am so hurt by the both of them and the fact that she are just telling me about it I don't know how to deal wit the pain. I work wit my best friend and he does not know that I know but he has told her to let me be the dad without me knowing that it may or may not be mine. I try to even cry or something but no tears fall and I am just left wit pain. I can't go more than ten minutes wondering how they could do this to me for no reason. And I really want to put this behind me cause i really do love her I just hate her actions. So maybe ya'll can give me some advice.


Sarah - May 20

You are in a really difficult situation and understandably very upset however you now need to take stock and consider some hard facts. 1. what will you do if the baby truns out to by yours and 2. what if it doesn't. If you love your wife you need to consider that she cheated on you and may possibly do so again. you need to consider whether, with this knowledge you can forgive her and move on. If the baby is yours and you do forgive her you'll have to do your best for it's sake. It didn't ask to be born and needs both parents even if they do not ultimatly stay together. If the baby is not yours i wouldn't blame you for leaving your wife. I can't see how, in the knowledge that the child is not yours, you could happily bring it up. Perhaps this pregnancy was just what you needed to show you that your wife is not the woman you thought.


J - May 20

My husband and I were separated for 2 months. During those 2 months, I was involved with someone else; hubby and I got back together, and a month later, we found out I was pregnant. We don't know if he's the father or not - but, I've told him that as far as I'm concerned, he is. He agrees - this is his child, no matter what. I know it's hard, and it's a horrible horrible horrible situation...but whether your sperm conceived that child or not, you can still be its father - you can raise it, and love it, and care for it, and the child need never know the difference.


It's - May 20



Derek - May 20

Well from my understanding the expected mother to be usually has a good feeling on who the father is. I bet she is trying to find out how you feel. The real question is do you love her in your heart and what are you willing to give up to keep her? will you love this child as yours even tho it might not be? If that ever happened to me i would love the child as my own (got 2 boys and trying for a 3rd child) I love my wife with my whole being and i am willing to give up anything to be with her. so what are you willing to give up?


bump - June 23



bump - August 1



Darnell - August 3

Yo man i feel for you homeboy, I was in a similar situation, my gurl of 2 years broke the news to me that while we were broken up she had s_x wit some other dude. We was only broken up like fo a month to. It was da hardest c___p ive ever dealt wit dawg. I love dat gurl so much and we have one other kid together. Ma son was only 2 months old at da time and i work as a bank teller. Money is mad tight, but anyway, me and ma gurl talked it out and i told her that if da baby wasnt mine i didnt know if we could stay togetha, it would just break my heart u kno? Well da baby was born, it was a lil babygirl and it ended up not bein mine. I was crushed man, i couldnt believe it, my boo was mad upset to, we had a long talk that night and she tol me that she didnt kno the guys name cuz it was a one night stand. i couldnt do it man, i had to leave, its been 2 months since that point and we have join custody on da kids, i dunno you know we may get back together but we may not, im not datin and neitha is she, but only time will tell, basically man what im sayin is dis, if you can deal wit da baby not bein yours then stick it out man if you love her enough and you kno she wont do it again, but if you cant then take some time for yourself you kno? see how you feel in a couple of months, peace man good luck



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