How Can I Help Him Through This

2 Replies
Jessica - February 24

Well guys I need your input. My husband and I have two beautiful daughters ages 4 and 3. We have been married for almost six years....happily. I just found out that I am six weeks pregnant. I am thrilled but he dropped a bombsh__l on me saying that this is not what he wants and that it does not fit into his life plans. He makes comments about how much weight I am going to gain and how he is not attracted to fat girls. Its like I don't know him anymore. We are small business owners and do not have maternity coverage on our insurance policy. I understand that the cost of this child will be high but does the stress it causes give him the right to be cruel to me? I guess I just believe God will not give you anything you can't handle. After reading some of the posts from other couples who have been ttc and have had no luck I can't believe how bleesed I am to be carrying this baby. I guess I just need some advice on how to help him through this. I know he willbe a good father once the baby arrives but I really need his support now. What shoud I do?I


Claudia - February 24

As I read through your problem just now, I was struck by how similar your situation is to the one I was in about a year ago. My husband and I are small business owners, also, and like you, there was no insurance OR PLAN for a third baby. When my husband found out I was expecting he seriously wouldn't talk to me for days--not a word. He would come home and totally ignore me, as if I had some secret intention to ruin him. It took some time, but he did come around and loves our third as much as the other two. Men have such a different stress load when it comes to having babies. They instinctively fear not being able to provide for the ones they love. They view the thought of having children as MORE to have to provide for. When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, they react accordingly. As for the weight gain, it is true we are not at our s_xiest when we are 8 1/2 months pregnant, but pregnancy isn't permanent. Stay healthy and focus on taking care of you and that little one inside. Like you said, God will not give us anything we can not handle. What a precious gift you have, and it will not be long before your husband feels the same way.


Jessica - February 25

Claudia.....thank you so much for your response. After leaving my first post my husband and I had a very long heartfelt talk. He said exactly what you said. He is worried about being able to provide for all of us properly. He even apologized about the weight issue!!! I think this whole thing will make us stronger in the long run. Thanks for your support :o)



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