How Do You Handle Mommy S Humiliation During Pregnancy

246 Replies
old thread - June 24

This thread is soooo old. LOOK the first answer is in APRIL!! And the woman was due within a WEEK!! The baby was born over two months ago! Let it go


G - July 16

My wife insists of a female doc during her gyn exams and she's fortunate to have that choice. You should look to see if a female physican is available or if possilbe look for a midwife. However, place the medical needs of your wife over your discomfort. I feel though that physicians who are professional don't get any s_xual gratification out of doing a pelvic exam which is what separates it from being a crime. I wanted to go to medical school and sharing in the birthing process would be fantastic in that you help bring a life into the world. I think initally and out of my deep respect for women it would be uncomfortable for me but in time you get used to it. A true caring doctor is there to take care of a patient and nothing else. Try telling the doctor of your concern. - July 19

I think that your love for her will outweigh your hate for male doctors. Usually by the time HE gets involved its just time to catch the baby. The nurses do most of the exams for the delivery then tell him to come deliver it. Whenever he's there just look into her eyes and think of your beautiful baby and remember that the doctor is HELPING to get her out of pain.


Chuck - July 26

Grow up! Your being childish. You must have had a really repressed upbringing. As far as the pain goes; if you want to help your wife then keep your cool and be supportive and sympathic towards her. When she's in the middle of the birthing process the last thing she should have to deal with is you freaking out. By the way modern medicine has some really effective medications that control the pain. And by the way this won't mean that your wife will become a, "junky."


Jordan - August 13

Some people are unaffected. Some are seriousely affected. No one is right. I am happy for all of you that don't worry about it. I wish I didn't care. But it breaks my heart knowing someone else is there. I can't help it. And despite how professional I know most are, later on, images and thoughts can pop into their mind's without intention.


jimmy - August 19

ace i agree with you up to the point of punching somone (police jail time get it but alot of males feel this way it follows in the line of protecting thats what we are its in our genes provide protect nateral instink is good but you must control it and use it to ur advan


oooook... - August 19

Wow. Chances are, male doctor or not, your wife has been seen naked by other men in her lifetime. What about when her father changed her diaper as an infant.. is that rape? NO. Get over it. Your wife is the one who should be concerned about who sees her and who doesn't, it is ultimately her choice and if she doesn't have a problem with it, why do you? Are you that insecure about your masculinity that you feel threatened by a doctor? I honestly think s_x therapy would be very liberating for you and your wife. Why do we let humans operate on dogs and cats? we are not dogs or cats, so is that an injustice to animals? of course not. A trained professional is a trained professional.. Would you feel better knowing your wifes doctor is gay? Or would that just open up a whole new bag of issues? I think you need to seek therapy, not just for your own good, but for your wifes. Insecurities on that level can become dangerous to both of you (and any professionals in the vicinity). Seriously, get help.


Bill - August 20

Ace, I agree that what you feel inside of you is your response to your wife being violated. . But you must refrain from any violence towards anyone.That is not the answer to your problem. Now let me tell you that first and foremost to listen to what your feelings are telling you. Your feelings are your body's inner alarm system that is telling you that something is not right. I have talked to hundreds of men over the past 26 years and most allof them do not like the fact that their wives go to a male gynecologist. (the exceptions were what I call the Jerry Springer crowd) For to long we have allowed our wives to be violated and sat quietly and have not addressed the real issue. The issue is not good health care for our wives. There are good and bad male and females in all fields, that is not the issue. The issue is that, in the male-female relationship, there are properties and qualities that make it sacred. Those include exclussiveness, separateness and reservedness. Sacred means to dedicate or set apart for a single use, purpose or person. Therefore, to desire that certain sights and touches of your wife to be reserved for you and you alone in the male-female bond is not wrong at all but is the right manly feeling. The issue that needs to be addresssed is the appropriateness of male gynecology. Most of the responders to your question are ignorant of the fact of men and women and how we differ s_xually. A womans arousal responsiveness is mostly linked to her "emotional side" A mans arousal responsiveness is mostly linked to "sight and touch". This is not my opinion but is medical fact. Therefore when a woman goes to a male gynecology, are we so ignorant to believe that the certificate on the wall, the white lab coat he wears, the stethescope around his neck, these all somehow render him no longer a man. Lets put facts into perspective: 1) men are aroused by sight and touch 2) a woman lies naked, with her legs spread wide open 3) To believe that a man viewing her would not get aroused is to say to the woman: your nakedness could not arouse a man. Going to a male gynecologist is allowing the natural elements of s_xual arousal to be present. When we use the word violate we need to look at it in its true meaning. vioate means to break intentionally or unintentionally, to disreguard, to do injury to the person or property of, to do harm to property or qualities considered sacred. So if you feel that the properties of your male-female relationship that you have with your wife include that certain sights and touches be reserverd for each other, then honor that quality. Protect what you value. Personal boundries are protective devices, when honored they keep us from hurt. Like fences, boundries help establish where we end and another begins. Letting others know they can only go so far, and no further or they are violating. What you need to do is to not make apologies for how you feel, but share it with other men, and I believe you will find as I did the truth of how they really feel. Help your wife to understand that you are a man and you understand how men are s_xually aroused. What you are really feeling is to protect some very important qualities. But make sure you keep your anger in check. You can be angry about the matter but use that anger constructively.


Jordan - August 20

Name: Bill | Date: August 20, 2005, 7:44 You said that beautifuly. THANK YOU. Jordan


Diana L. Roberts - September 16

No, you are not the only person whom feels this way. I feel intensely the same way. I would rather die than see a male gynecologist. They only get into the practice for one reason, and one reason alone [that reason not being medical practice]. As for what to do, demand a female? You have a choice, usually, as far as gynecologists and that go.


cody wallace - September 23

i feel the same way its complete and total bs all it is is a clinical form of perversion my gf has to go in for that soon and its bs


suuuure - September 23

yep, i'm so sure men become gyno's just to s_x up your woman. That's all they want. Why be a plastic surgeon who gets to beautify and perfect b___sts and v____a's all day long, to their own specific tastes, and get paid much much more to do it, when they could look at nasty infected v____a's as a gyno instead. Plus i bet seeing babies being born is the biggest turn on. Vets are the same way you know. They just love sticking their finger up a dogs b___t, it has nothing to do with wanting to make a difference at all. Proctologists too.. Infact, all medical professionals are in it for the full frontal nudity. I know tonnes of 18 yr old men who think that being a gyno is the easiest way to get some action.


Bill - September 26

TO: Diana L. Roberts I can tell you that you are a real woman. It is refreshing to hear that there are women that have virtue. Blessings to you......................


Kate - September 28

GUYS!!! The first post was in April, and the baby was due in a week...the baby's going to be almost 6months old now! Guessing he doesn't need any more advice about what to do at the birth!!!


BILL - September 29

TO Kate: The original poster "ACE" does need to know how to handle any future situations where he feels his wife will be in a position where she is being violated. He needs to know that there are millions of other men who have felt and are currently feeling what he has expressed in his post. Many times forums like this help a person who is now expierencing the same problem. To ACE I wish the best for his family and hope that he holds to the insights that he felt and uses those insights constructively to let other men know that what they are feeling ( and have kept silent about it) is the souls way of letting them know something is not right


Jordan - September 29

200 years ago, women stayed at home. They weren't allowed education's. They stayed home and cooked and cleaned. I am a stay at home dad. I cook and clean. My girlfriend/baby's mother is going to school in the medical field, while working full time. 200 years ago, or even 100, there were only male doctors. The only exception to my knowledge was midwifes (Hmmm...wonder why?). Women have medical needs, and there were only men at that time, so it made sense back then. But today I bet there are more females in the medical field than men. THERE IS NO REASON TO KEEP MEN IN THAT FIELD TODAY!



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