I Have A Question

11 Replies
A loving girlfriend - April 10

My 22 year old boyfriend is a very caring, loving and kind person. He has a 20 month old son whom he has not seen since before Christmas. Him and his wife (they are seperated, soon to be legally divorced) do NOT like eachother. His "wife" has put a restraining order on him, and landed him in jail on 4 different occasions. She claimed he was abusive towards her and the baby. He did lose his temper on 2 occasions, cause his wife kept bugging him about the same thing over, and over and over again. He NEVER hurt her or his son. Now he is trying hard to clear his bad name. He's doing everything the courts ask, and fighting hard to get his son, and get away from his wife. His wife, is a horrible mother. She sleeps in till 2 or 3 in the afternoon, while her disabled mother takes care of the baby. There has been numerous times where she fed him NOTHING but bottles all day, instead of baby solid foods. She misses almost all of his appointments...and soooo much more! I feel that my bf should get full custody of his son, cause he is an excellent father, and loves his son! Do you have any advice I can give him to help him get full custody of his son? Any helpful and mature advice would help. Please, I am not on here to be called names for dating someone whom is still legally married, they are seperated and have been for months now. I am just looking for some way I can be more helpful towards him. Thanks again.


I have advice...... - April 11

Tell your bf he should not have knocked some girl up!


Kelly K - April 11

My best advice would be to get a good lawyer. Unfortunately a lot of judges favor the mothers. He needs to get proof of neglect and have her declared unfit if he's to even begin to get custody.


A loving girlfriend - April 12

Thanks for your advice Kelly K. The only thing is that a good lawyer around here (where we live) are really expensive, and it's not easy to come by the kind of money to do that. As far as proof of the mother being a lazy b___h and not taking care of the baby, me, my bf, and his family and friends all have a lot of proof, so I don't think that should be too much of a problem. Thanks again for your advice. :)


lala - April 12

You know what, I have worked for a lawyer and I can tell you that unfortunately, the courts do favor the mother. I saw a case where a crack head mom got three different chances to straighten up and she never did. I kept wondering why they would give her so many chances. The father did have a crimnal record but he was much more of a stable home for the kids. The courts just thought it would be best to leave the kids with the mom and finally they ended up in foster care. They still didnt award custody to the dad. It would take alot of money for a good lawyer and alot of solid proof. It sucks but I don't think that they will do anything. Sorry.


A loving girlfriend - April 13

Oh, I forgot to say this....it is not only that they favor both parents depending on the case, they favor the parent with the more stable home and environment. Not the past records of the mother or father. With Erin's case....her daughter's father, was in the military, and had a relativly clean record. The mother had a lot of horrible past records, but was clean, sober and a pretty good mom. So it does depend on the home and environment.


A loving girlfriend - April 15

To whom posted last....Thanks for your advice, and sharing your experience. I dunno if me and my boyfriend will ever get married, but chances are high on that. I love him, and we get along so well. I will let you know what happens, if he does get his son or not. Most likely he will.


Name - April 15

I suggest that he file for custody first of all. Second of all it won't be easy, especially if he has gone to jail. I don't know the whole situation so I am not going to sit here and call you or him names. I wish you and him the best of luck. I am sure some day soon, he will at least get to see his son. :)


Maybe.... - April 20

If you were not the "other woman" in his relationship his babies momma would not have a no contact order on his a__s and refusing to let him see his son! Leave him! Then he might be able to see his son! You filthy whore!


A loving girlfriend - April 21

Hey "Maybe" I don't know what the hell crawled up your a__s....but I am NOT the other women. My bf's soon to be EX wife, has refused to talk to him or anyone in his family since very early January of this year. This whole situation has been hell on him, his family, and my family. My grandma and I are very worried about his son. Mainly cause the mother of my bfs son (his soon to be EX - wife) is not a very reliable person. I don't trust her with that baby, ( I myself have not seen him since he was 9 months, and he is now 20 months, I still call him a baby because of this.) My bf has not seen him since before Christmas, like I have said before. In fact the other day me, my bf, my dad, and my best friend went to Wal-Mart (my bfs mom works there) we talked to her and she was really p__sed. We found the answer why before we went into the store. My bf's "wife" was their with her parents and their son. We saw their c___ppy car sitting in the parking lot. What was really sad about the whole thing, is that my bf was not even able to see his son, and his son was there! He is not allowed within 500 feet of his "wife" because she is a b___h, and has not lifted the no contact order...still claims that my bf (I have not been saying his, or my names, for certain reasons, my bf does not want me to mention his name, he does know I am on here with this thread though, and glad I am trying to help) is trying to hurt her and harra__s her and the baby. (She also claims that his mom harra__ses her, her parents, and the baby, in the store because when they were to walk near her, she would ask to see her grandson, they of course refused to let her see him.) I cry a lot for my bf, and his family. They love his son, and miss him dearly! I am not a strong christian, and my bf is not christian, so I do not pray too much for them, though I do. I am going to go. I hope those whom do read this, read the WHOLE thing before jumping to rediculous conclusions like "maybe" had done. Thank you for any of your advice, that was positive (like not calling me names and c___p). Okay....my last thing I have to say (for this post) is if you don't have anything to say with a civil tongue, then just don't say a darn thing at all....I don't need it.


A loving girlfriend - April 21

To lilmama, I know what you are saying.... my friend Erin went through the same thing, cause both her, and her babies dad were with another person. I didn't see that affect them....but I dunno. I know that they consider him even DATING another women as adultry...but at least he is not sleeping around like his "wife" is....she had a whole bag full (probably 75 or more) full of condoms before she last shoved my bf into the jail.....when he got out....there were only like 10 left....and there were several messages on the machine and lying around the house of guys (1 of them someone he considered a friend) saying like...."so (her name) when are you coming back over? I miss you" stuff like that. So if anyone were to get into trouble...it should be her....cause she is the one that actually is having s_x with multiple partners...and cheating. Yeah my bf and I are dating, yeah he is still married to her legally....but were not sleeping together, and he has not tried to sleep with or date multiple people since they broke up....he is only dating me, so there for if anyone should be bashed for adulty it's his s___t for a wife. Sorry...but that whole thing p__ses me off...I used to be friends with his wife...but I simply don't like her, or her parents, or the way she treats my bf and his family and their son.


Young Momma - April 21

I don't know what all to say...but I have read all of your posts, and I hope that your bf gets his son. I agree with you in your last post, it should be his wife that get bashed for adultry....she is the one sleeping around it sounds like....not him. He sounds like a very loving and caring guy...I would hold on to him. Good luck to both of you.



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