I Have Q Question For The Men Folk

8 Replies
skinnyminny - June 2

My ex-fiance has pretty much officially left me. He hates that I wont have an abortion, Im 18 hes 20, though a few weeks before we found out he was saying how badly he wanted us to get married and start a family. Not only does he hate me for "making him a father" but he insists on trying to get FULL CUSTODY because "I dealt him a blow, now he's gonna deal me a blow" He keeps talling me how unfit i am to do it on my own, How its his baby, and how I'm stupid and incapable. He even went so far as to say "you ccant even handle stomach pains" I'd like to see how he'd deal with uterine cramps. I found out when i was 6-8 weeks along, now I'm 10-12 weeks and over that time we've been up and down, until now. He really hates me, he doesnt love me anymore. Its bullshit. We've been together over 3 years! My question for you guys is, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM? Is he just sacred shitless of teh reality in front of him, OR did he never really love me to begin with?


skinnyminny - June 3

Well, I want to share custody, he doesn;t. He wants full custody. Ideally I would liek to work things out with him because I believe a functional family unit should consist of two parents. He won't sit down and talk with me yet, so you're right about just giving him time. I don't understand how he could do a 180 overnight. I dont understand why he's so unwilling to share custody. He's driving me insane.


HannahBaby - June 3

being 18 he may have had feelings for you, but was dating you for other reasons (your pretty, fun, s_x, etc) Im sure that he said that he wanted to marry you, but i can bet he didnt mean anytime this decade. Hes just scared, maybe he doesnt want to be a father. Dont worry about the custody thing, he cant get FULL custody unless he can PROVE with out a doubt that you are an unfit mother, and considering that you didnt have an abortion, i doubt that he will be able to prove anything! Good luck and dont let him push you around or scare you. Also, make sure you let him know that you will be taking him to court for child support!! You deserve it


HannahBaby - June 3

also, the reason hes thretening you with trying to get full custody is because he knows that you love your baby and that you want your baby, hes trying to take that happiness away from you, because he feels like you took his happiness (freedom) away from him.


skinnyminny - June 3

I have the ring already, and we were planning on getting married w/in the next 2 years. A few weeks ago he suggested we elope and I turned him down because I want my family involved and he's been a little ticked at me ever since. After I gave him the pregnancy news we started talking about getting married at a courthouse ASAP. I believe he DID love me, he may even still and is being a scared twit. His desire to marry me (pre-pregnancy) is undeniable. His desire to have children with me is undeniable. He is so angry that "I'm doing it so soon" that he's turned on me. He feels like I am deliberately ruining his life. He doesnt believe that if we stick together we can make it. He doesnt believe my reasons for not aborting are "good enough." There is so much to the story and i couldn't and cant fit it all in here, so I understand how you could get your facts mixed up. No, he wasnt dating me just for s_x, Yes he did have a real desire to marry me SOON, and he does EVENTUALLY want to be a father. But he's young, and scared, and from a background that doesnt exactly give him much hope for having kids young. I DO HOWEVER FULLY AGREE WITH YOUR LAST POST. If he honestly relized that that is the only reason he's playing this game, then he would probably stop acting so foolish.


HannahBaby - June 4

Good luck girl i hope that everything works out for you


skinnyminny - June 4

me 2... he keeps offering me money so i caqn buy myself healthy food and stuff. I can't figure out whether he has a genuine desire to keep me healthy, or if he's trying to plump up the fetus for when he ultimately takes it from me. So he's either coming around, or is still being a jerk.


Olivene - July 1

He can't take the child from you unless he can prove you would be a terrible mother. You don't need to worry about that unless you have a drug problem or something. I think he's just p__sed because he can't control you or the situation so he's trying to frighten you- threatening to take the baby from you. What does he say when he offers you money for food? What does he claim is his reason? I'm sure he is scared, but I can't tell you how it will turn out. Good luck. The news is still pretty new so maybe he will come around. Hard to say. I never understand why some men (boys!) feel that pregnancy is something women do TO them, like they weren't there when it happened. Does he think you planned it?


MelissaP - July 22

Wow..if he does come around....im going to be surprised if you do take him back! What nasty horrible things to say just because he is scared?! He has no right to put you through this emotional stress, especially now that your pregnant! That part about you dealing him a b__w is soooo ridiculous. He thinks you got pregnant by yourself or what? What an ignorant little fool. I hope you make him grovel....and don't let him know anything about the baby.Make the twirp beg to come back and be part of the pregnancy!



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