Lying Fiance Advice

5 Replies
divinelibra - March 27

i'm 4 months pregnant with the love of my life. we've been together for 4 years, but hes a compulsive liar! up until about a year ago everything was pretty much perfect. for about 3 months i kept uncovering lies. one of which was of an "internet fling" which went on for about 3 months. i know for sure there were phone calls and i love yous and phone s_x along with nude pictures sent back and forth. well we got past it and now it seems like its starting again. i just found out thats hes been getting online for the past several weeks looking at p___n, which isnt a problem, but hes doing it behind my back. but all of his emails and interenet history has been erased. which leads me to believe theres more going on. i have this "feeling" that theres more to this than just another internet thing. there may be a real person this time. either way i still consider this cheating and i dont know what to do?!? i dont want to leave him, but i dont want to have a new baby/family around a deceitful man. i dont have the proof this time like i had last time. so im just lost. any other similar stories or suggestions????


bloodlust - March 28

I've been through a very very similair situation. I found out my fiance of three years had been e-mailing other females and had "internet relationships" with them. I also have very low self-esteem so you can imagine how much it hurt when I found out he was also looking at p___nography. I also found out he had cheated on me a year earlier with a girl (in person) he met online. I was absolutely torn. I mean, I still think about and get enraged/sad. I also have trust issues which are hard because even when he's at work, I'm afraid he's cheating. For you, I think you should talk to him, find out what the hell is going on. Also, a lot of people might not agree but you could download some spying software and find out what he's doing, then confront him with that. Keep in mind, most relationships don't last when something like this happens. I'm suprised mine has. I might be a fool, who knows. I know that I love my fiance unconditionally, even when he hurts me. If you feel like this will affect your relationship for the rest of your life and that you can't get over it, just leave. Don't stick around to make you and your baby's life hell. But first, you should surerly talk to him.


sweetsouthernbelle - April 9

I've been through alot with my fiance too with the internet stuff...he had been talkin to this one girl about how bad he wanted to sleep with her and she had been goin to his house and stuff so i understand how you feel...its stopped now and im staying but theres always that suspicion..i guess guys just see the internet alot differently than we do...just make sure that you talk to him and get the truth out of him dont leave on a suspicion...everyone deserves a second chance mine changed for the better and hopefully yours has changed too...i hope i helped


divinelibra - April 19

it seems like everything is back to normal. and it really was just the p___n. maybe my hormones were getting the best of me. i still keep it all in the back of my head, i prefer to forgive and not forget. we shall see.


Ducky - April 20

SUGGESTION. Ew. Why would a man want to have phone s_x when there is a beautiful woman sleeping right next to him? If I were you I wouldn't care if I had the evidence or not, I would just leave him. If he asked me why I would say it was because he did it the first time and I just don't trust him any more. My boyfriend called his ex from his work when I was 4 months pregnant. I found out a week later from a girl who knew her. When I asked him about it he said he only did it to say he was sorry for hurting her and he was only on the phone for a little bit. Since then I have looked at all the caller IDs on the phone and I call his work from time to time to talk to a guy I know that works with him. I ask him what he's been doing and who he's been talking to. He never did any thing like it since then but I still get nervous when he goes to work. You will have that with you for a very very long time. My grandfather cheated on my grandmother for 15 years and she didnt find out until the 15th year. I asked her if she would still be with him if she knew then what she knows now and she told me should would have left him in a heart beat. Its not very likely that he is going to change. It's only up to you if you want to wait around for that to happen or not. Good luck.


LollyM - April 21

Definantly confront him with your concern. Even if you don't have proof, you should bring it up because it is a concern for you, and therefore should matter to him as well. Don't attack him or he might get defensive, but just bring it up and you will be able to tell if he lies to you or tries to cover it up. The stress of not knowing is not good for you or your baby, and if he is cheating you are better off without him! I had a boyfriend once who was mean to me verbally and physically. He pushed me and grabbed me and gave me bruises for a year and a half. I had horrible self esteem. When I told him to stop he said, " God, you act like I hit you or something". That was his response every time. I finally realized that he was doing everything but hitting me and that eventually he would, so I left him and it was the best thing I ever did. I know that may be an extreme comparison, but still something to think about. It may be hard having his baby if he is cheating, but remember that you will have so much support from family and friends and it is important to do the right thing for you and your baby. I hope all goes well, trust your instinct and be strong!



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