Stepfathering A Toddler

7 Replies
Ryan - July 29

I have recently asked my woman to marry me. She has a twelve month old baby from her previous relationship, and I really do love him, and cherish him like my own. I just wanted to know if there's any guides or help on how to deal with suddenly going from bachelor to changing a twelve month old's nappies, and Mum knowing everything whilst I look on like a guest. I just want to know how to properly take care of my new son, and am finding difficulty in locating resources for people in my situation, given as it is not the norm. I live in Australia, but would be grateful for any help from anyone anywhere. Thankyou.


ajax - July 29

Learn as much as you can about his day to day care. Don't be intimidated by him. You can't control everthing that happens to him, sometimes its your job as a parent to just make sure he gets all the care he needs. Don't be afraid to be the bad guy. It will save you embarasment now,and huge problems later. They need to respect you, or you will be taken advantage of kids are smart. Lay the ground work early and your job will be so much easer later. Show your love ALOT and when you do get tuff the make ups are that much sweeter.


Jana - November 24

You need to talk with your future wife and set up rules for how you are going to parent this child now. Some things to consider: discipline (will you spank? use time-outs?), duties (who will feed, read the bedtime story, change, drive to school/daycare, etc.), future children (will you have them?), etc. Dr. Phil actually has a decent book on parenting that includes a chapter on stepparenting. I am married for the second time to a great guy, and there was definitely an adjustment period while we "meshed" parenting styles. One important thing - make sure you have some time with your new child that is special just between you two. My husband reads my son's bedtime stories, and that is their special time. Best of luck to you!


E - November 24

Ryan, what a thoughful post:) has many great books about steparenting and also, about parenting a toddler. I think this is a great first step and your fiancee will know you are intersted in her son when she sees your reading these books. Good luck - This little boy is lucky to have someone like you!!


belle - December 13

my husband did it i was 20 and he was 18 i had a baby that was a year and a half from a previous relationship, then i got pregnant, we got married and now have 2 beautiful children and a very happy loving relationship...we have been married 3 years and my husban adopted my baby as his it will all work out for you im sure!


Angel - February 20

It's good to hear that there's men out there like you who would take a child and treat them like your own. My dad pa__sed away when I was very young, and my mother remarried very soon. My step dad treated me like c___p (still to this day and I'm grown starting a family of my own) The only advice I would give is to keep treating him like he's your own and although it will be hard at times things will be a lot easier in the long run.


blinks - April 17

Well I got married to someone similer as yourself a "Bachelor" and he also whent from a bachelor to a father to my baby, of course i was 4 months pregnet when i met him but he compleatly changed his life for me and my baby. When the baby was born he was scared at first but then with time he learned how to be a father. So what i suggjust for a wonderfull man like you is to love the child and dont ever treat him like if he wasent yours because he will love you because you are now his father now and forever. So ust learn from mistakes that happens and ask your wife to educate you on how to be a good parent. Trust me that you will make a good father not step father because remember you are now raising that child as your own. Good Luck with everything


Missy - August 9

When I met my husband I had son that was 1 1/2 years old. Joel hadn't even been around a child as young as Mikael before and was clueless. What helped him was the same thing that helps every parent--experience. You can't learn fatherhood from a book, a friend, or anything aside from experiencing it. You'll mess up a little of course but you'll get better. A few tips I know I had to keep reminding Joel of was: put away anything you don't want broken, get on your knees and put away what you can reach (this helps kidproofing the house), and always speak in a voice you expect the child to use. Joel is still having a few problems using a low but firm voice when correcting Mikael but I have to give him credit. I am sure your fiance will too! :) But I agree with what others have said--you do need to establish how much of a father you are going to be to this child with your fiance. My husband is the complete father so that makes things less of a ha__sle. Also be sure you know her feelings on how she thinks a child should be corrected. It will save a lot of arguments from happening later!



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?