This Needs To Be Said Here As Well

11 Replies
R - August 19

I'm a man, and I posted this on another forum, and this needs to be said here as well, for women and men. Here it is: This is not a question, it's a statement. I see it all over this place, and it breaks my heart to see this happening to so many men and women. Anbody, ANYBODY, who does not stick by their significant other, be they man or woman, for their child is a total waste of carbon. The second you had that child, it was no longer about you, it was about the kids. I don't care if you feel that you can't make it work, MAKE IT, for your damn kids. It's a shame that we live in a world now where nobody seems to care about their kids, and what is best for them. Granted, if you are being abused, or neglected, then leave, but if nothing is wrong and you are leaving a perfectly normal and supportive husband/wife, or boyfriend/girlfriend, you need your head checked. They are doing the right thing, YOU are wrong for being selfish. If you aren't ready to give up your life for a child, then you aren't ready to have a child.


hmm - August 20

Those of us who were abused and their kids severly neglected- Do you not think it is hard on us enough leaving our family,our home, our support and children's fathers. It is the hardest decision I ever made and it was not for me, it was for my child. That he would not grow up with a role model that did drugs and disrespected women. I know you said this did not include us, but it is just hard to read. It breaks my heart.


To hmm - August 20

There's a world of difference. That's harmful to the kids. The one being selfish there is the man for not giving up drugs. As far as being disrespectful to women, that's a very broad statement. If you provoked him, then you are just as guilty, if it was totally unprovoked you may have a point. Still, drugs is reason enough.


anna - August 20

im some what with you on this if you cant make it work then at least be friends


ash - August 21

finally a real man. I completely agree. My situation was different due to abuse but if that isnt an issue, the children need mommy and daddy both


Bree - August 22

R, I don't think you can say there is a black and white answer. Life is more complicated than that. I agree that you must put your child first and do what is best for the child, but to say "stay" end of story is not necessarily the best thing in many instances. We are all adults and we must make our personal decision based on the situation. Yes, put your baby as your #1 priority always!


R - August 22

Indeed. There are circ_mstances that warrant a seperation, no doubt. I'm not making that contention, but what I'm saying is that if you're a guy or a female, and all you want to do is go around and screw around, then you need to suck it up and realize that there's another life you need to take care of. I'm not saying to stay together if your old man beats you, or he's addicted to crack and is in and out of jail, what I am saying is that if you have petty differences, you need to put them aside and realize that the small c___p doesn't matter anymore, and you need to stop being selfish and realize that your kid is more important than your worthless bickering. That's all I'm saying.


Deb - August 26

Personally, I believe being happy makes you a better person and a better parent. If you can be happy(ier) with out me for whatever reason, then go for it.


Kelley - August 26

I have a son who is 18 months old and he has never seen his father. His father never saw any sonograms, never saw me pregnant, never called me, never wrote me, and I have no idea where he is. I got in contact with some relatives ad they don't want anything to do with me or my son. I saw my son's father at a holloween party last year and he stood right next to me and acted like he never met me in his life. (mind you, I was not in costume!) I tried to contact him but he wants nothing to do with being a father, including child support of any kind. Now, I am pregnant with my second child with another man. He is in the military and I grew up with him. He was raised in a christian home, he has the nicest parents in the world and they love me, I saw his brother a few months ago (before I knew I was pregnant) and his brother, who is 18, played with my son. Now that he knows I'm pregnant, he will not talk to me because he is trying to pull the, "it's not my kid" card. He says that he'll talk to me after the baby's born and we get a paternaty test. I think it's bull ****. I have to be alone, again, through a whole other pregnancy, I have to deliver with out a father, no one to sign the birth certificate. He knows d__n well that this is his baby but he doesn't want to have to deal with it right now. He's a good guy and he will be an awesome dad but I wish he would just get his head out of his a__s. All men that neglect their families and children need to either grow up or stop having s_x.


H - January 6

R, I second what you are saying and totally agree. The majority of divorces now days are for very selfish reasons. Very few are actually warrented. I would also like to know whatever happened to people getting married and committing to each other for life before making a baby? I read about all these women purposley getting pregnant by men they are not married to. What is that about? Good enough to make a baby with is somone good enough to marry!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Erin - January 6

Kids are smart, if there's tension in your relationship, they're going to know. That's not good! They start to stress, and it brings on a decline in their health, personality, grades, etc. It's stupid to stay together for the sake of the kids. They know!!!!!!


dads2b - January 10

Staying together or divorce can have both stress affects , working things out , sitting down , and trying to make a go for it , in a health fashion , not just sticking to it but becoming good parents rater than being abusive is a good start , Dads out there should stop and think but if they are here in this forum then you probably already are, and then you should continue. Wifes and Woman Partners , if you are being abused before hand why did you not leave or seek help from groups , beofre having a baby , if you are being abused your being abused not two ways about it , having a child with an abusive husband, is theoretically abusive to the child, knowing full fact your bring them into an abusive atmosphere, that inturn is cause for concern... if you knew before hand its predeturmined abuse.. Seek Help before getting pregnant not whilst or after ,,, not doing so can cuase your child more harm than anything .



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