5 Days Apart Too Long For A 15 16 Month Old

4 Replies
Kara H. - February 22

My hubby's best friend is getting married to a woman with way more baggage than I care to address at the moment. They informed us that they are going to go to an all-inclusive resort in the carribean and want us to go down as their witnesses. They are thinking about this Oct or Nov. Max would be 15 or 16 months old at the time. My parents could watch him so I know he would be well cared for, I just question whether it would or not it would be too upsetting to him to be separated from us for that long. I don't really approve of the marriage, so we I considered telling them we couldn't go. But it is impossible to get my hubby to spend money on a nice vacation so it would be nice to go anywhere for a getaway (even with HER). We are planning to get pregnant again this summer, so I would be approx 4 months or so at the time. It would be nice to spend some time in the warm sun before a long preggo winter. She does have a couple of teenage daughters that are going and she has offered up their babysitting services if I chose to take Max with us. I just don't know what would be best for all envolved. Any imput on whether a week apart would be terribly traumatizing for a toddler?


mommybabyboy21 - February 22

how often does yoru ds see your mom...my friends moved from CA to WA when their ds was 10 months old and before moving his mom took her ds to WA to stay with his grandma whom he had only seen once...and they were separted for four days..her DS didn't seem to have much of a problem with it...I had more of a problem with it because he was my godson and job at the time...both parents work and I was his nanny I missed him sooo much when my friends moved. :( But then again he was such an easy going child. I think it depends on the child and you. Because on the other had my mom left my brother with my grandmother for 2 days and he was miserable the whole time and when she got back, he was so mad at her for leaving him that he cried for 2 more days after she got back so once again it depends on the baby. :) Of course I don't know if you don't like the woman who is getting married could you trust her teenagers with your DS. All things to think about.


Kara H. - February 22

Max spends 3-6 hours with my parents 2-3 days a week now. If it looks like hubby's friend is going to go thru with the wedding, we would probably start letting Max spend the night occasionally to get accustomed to sleeping over there. I know this may sound bad, I would be OK with leaving him as long as he would be OK emotionally with it. I just remember when I was little a week seemed like an eternity when you were waiting for a certain day to come. I haven't been around that many 15-16 month olds in quite awhile, so I'm not sure how sophisticated their thought process is a that point. Would he understand that I would be back? Would he even care that I was gone or would it just be extended good times with Grams and Granddad?


LollyM - February 23

My niece is around that age now and she stays with her grandmother on the weekend sometimes. She is very clingy to her mother though, so like mommybaby said, it depends on the child. He will probably like to talk to you on the phone while you are gone. I think that if you bring back a present, it will make it less hard on him!


3babies - February 23

Hi Kara, no matter what his personalitly is like, it will affect him in some way ... not that it is necessarily a bad thing at all though. He is with people who he loves, and who love him and will cater to all his needs ... it's not like you are leaving him with just any one! He knows your parents well too, so I would say he will be just fine. It is a great opportunity for you that wont come along often, so I would seize it! Last year (while I was 6 months preg) I left my boys with my mum and dad (who they adore) for 3 nights (the longest I had left them). I really missed them (even though I was sooo looking forward to it). When we got back, they initially weren't that excited to see us!!!(of course I could tell they were later ... but they didnt run out to see us!) My only word of advice is that no matter how much you think you will be okay with leaving him (even with your parents)... you will still cry when you go and miss him 10x more than you think you will!



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