Sad And Lost Please Help

13 Replies
18wbabynov - January 28

well, i kinda have a few different stressors in life right now... my dd is 10weeks, and i love her to pieces. im not really sure if i have ppd, but i feel constantly bogged down, tired, and just sad... really down and overwhelmed. im doing school, starting a new job soon, then another job, dealing with my dd's dad who is in another country (things are not going so wonderfully) and im trying to take care of her as best i can. i am young, not rich, and a first time mom. so, besides feeling like shit most of the time... im getting really worried about putting my dd in daycare... will she still love me? will she even know im her mommy? will she be so depressed and will her whole personality change because i leave her with these people she doesnt really know!?? im so sad, and lost, i wish i could stay home with her forever... but staying home as long as i have is already kinda pushing it with finances... and i want to be able to give her everything... for that i need to work, and finish school... please help?! what should i do??? how can i feel better? does anyone else feel like this? i feel alone.

 

Kara H. - January 28

Do you live in the US? Do you have family near that can help you?

 

18wbabynov - January 28

i do live in the US... and i have really good family..... still... )o:

 

Kara H. - January 28

Ok. Here's the thing. I know nobody likes the idea of going on public a__sistance, but nobody can keep going the way you are. There are not enough hours in the day for you to work all those hours, go to school, and raise a baby all by yourself. Not to mention what you are going to pay for full time daycare, you will be lucky to break even. Public a__sistance was put in place to help people thru rough times. It's not like you would be on it permanantly. It would be a means to an end until you get done with school. Nobody like the idea of taking hand outs, but it would allow you to be financially able to raise you child and put your best effort in your school work so you can provide a better life for your child. I don't think you have PPD, I think you are over-extended and asking too much of yourself. You will not be able to keep this pace up for long...

 

jillianT - January 28

hey there. just wanted to let you know that i felt the exact same way about leaving dd at daycare. i just went back to work 01/05 and i cried a WHOLE LOT that day. but i got through it and you will too. it's actually starting to be kind of nice, to me...i get to be out w/ grown ups all day long and then when i come to pick the kids up, i get one of those heart melting smiles and a little giggle. she's always so happy to see me. she will remember you. i know how hard it is, but you can definately do it. it sounds like you have a lot on your plate, but i'm sure you are taking all of that on in order to better your family and that is what must be done sometimes. it'll be ok. get support from your family as much as you can. whenever i feel like i'm putting my family out by asking for too much, i think about it as if the tables were turned and i remember that these people love me and they want me to succceed, so i don't feel so bad.

 

18wbabynov - January 28

well, i have looked into the subsidized daycare... and that will be a big help to cut some cost... i hate to do that, cuz i feel like im giving up... but im really not lazy... really, im not... i pay taxes too... and i work really hard... i just want whats best for her... im really worried about daycare though... will she still love me? still know im her mom? im going to hate to just leave her there... but what other choice do i have?

 

Brittany - January 28

She'll always love you, your her mommy! She might be too young to understand now but everyonce in awhile talk to her so she can hear your voice, tell her you need to do this in order to make both of your futures better. Go get that education hun, it's so important. Hold her close when you pick her up from daycare and before you drop her off, she'll remember your voice and scent. She won't hate you. Your doing the BEST you can for her, your working so hard and I give you so much credit. I don't have any advice to make you feel better, just know your trying your best and when you look into her eyes, smile and know you two will have a great future when you get school over and done with. Keep up the great work, you can do it! Keep your head up. Just always talk to her and explain to her that you will always return to pick her up (Shes young but babies respond to their parents voices, especially mommys). At least she'll get used to people...my daughter cries when a stranger smiles at her! Good luck, I really look up to you!

 

Angiconda - January 28

I am kind of in the same boat as you are I am super upset about leaving ds at daycare tomrrow. I worry about him not getting the care and attention he needs and I am super sad about it too. I wish I had an easy answer for the both of us but I guess we have to remember people put their babies in daycare every day and their babies still love them and yes your dd will still love you and remember you. Keep up all of the great hard work you are doing but remember to take a little time for youself every once and a while. Often times I feel myself feeling a lot like you sound like you are feeling. Things will be ok for you and I am glad you have a good family for support.

 

krc - January 28

Don't you for one second..EVER...feel ashamed to say you take a__sistance from the government! Our country has the worst ever in the world program for helping mothers. That is a fact! Just about every other country out there has free health and child care and one year of PAID maternity leave. What do Americans get? Nothing! There is no way possible that a single mom, who works for say..$10/hour...bringing home say about $300ish a week...can afford bills and daycare, when daycare costs anywhere from $100-$200 a week !!! That is ridiculous !!! If the government can offer yo ua__sistance to help you while you finish school, then darn right you are ent_tled to that money to better yourself and your childs future !! Thats why we pay taxes....because you never know when you might need help, and I have no problem with my tax payer's dollars helping someone who really needs the help versus someone milking the system. Life gets real tough for single mothers. I am a single mother and a full time student. Ethan will need to start daycare in a few months and im going to apply for a__sistance because I will only be working on the weekends and that little money I will make will pay for gas, car insurance, and my cell phone. I applied for food stamps because since my dad is letting me live with him rent free ( while I am in school only )....this is my way of contributing since he stuggles to pay the bills. Also I am going to apply for cash a__sistance to help me pay for my monthly school fee since my job will not cover it. Im not not a low-cla__s person or lazy at all. I am a single mother who is trying to get an education to better myself for my son. Once I graduate I will no longer need the government help. But I NEED the help for the next year and a half! There are many young women who are in these situations and I think our government should help it's people...all of them. So hang in there....hold your head up high....it's only temporary...the most important thing is to finish school!!!

 

amberC - January 28

hey. i am 19 and a first time mom also. i dont know about the daycare stuff but i just wanted to comment on the ppd. i have it. i spent everyday crying or upset. any little comment would bring me to tears and i was so worried about my dd i could hardly leave the room. if it is ppd that you have antidepressants may help. i was put on zoloft and i can function so much better now. i would call ur doc just to ask him about it. If he does give you a prescription or you could go to counseling and it may help so much. i am going back to school in the fall and i am dreading hte day when i have to leave my dd for a whole day but i will come to that when i have to. if i was you i would call about the ppd just in case. it may just put your mind more at ease and you could focus on the other aspects of your life. also i know how hard it is b/c i do it but see if you are eligible for any government programs. i dont know if you have food stamps there but things like that could really help you out.

 

Lisastar9 - January 28

Babies are very intelligent,they can sense what is going on. She knows you have to go to schooland work/. She will be fine and so will you. Maybe pack in the diaper bag for the daycare a recieving blanket you can sleep with before she start daycare. When she is sleeping in her little crib she will have a smell of Mommy even though you are not physically there. This is the only hope I can give you to help your daughter remember you during the day.

 

bekysu - January 28

Sweetie, your are what public a__sistance was set up for. mothers who need help getting a start on life to make it better for themselves and for their children. It was NOT set up for people to just take and not GIVE. If you are going to work or going to school hold your head up high and take what is so rightfully yours. I am not saying that it won't be a hard uphill battle at times, but you love your daughter, you already have a head start my dear. As far as PPD, I have had that w/ my 1st preg. and was put on Wellbutrin. It helped a ton. I wasn't as far into the PPD that I wanted to hurt my lo or anything I was just sad.

 

kellens mom - January 29

It can be really hard when you are a new mom...with a dad in the picture to help. If life has you down, you need to see someone. They can and will help. Medicine made the world of difference for me. There is no shame in wanting to be happy so you can enjoy your life and your new little one. A healthy mom means a healthy, happy baby.

 

shelly - January 29

I agree with kara and krc, plus you are dealing with a few different issues and they are verwhelming you, no wonder you feel so stressed, on the subject of day care,babys and children are so adapable ,at least i found that with my lo, she ll always know your her mummy.

 

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