7 Replies
melissa g. - July 14

hi Ladies, I didnt post this on the post partum site b/c i dont think that one gets much traffic - i have had anxiety issues in the past but never done much about it -- now that my DD is here, i just cant believe how much i love her and every day it just grows, she is 5 months now. The flip side is that my anxiety is growing too! I dont know what I would do if anything ever happened to her. I read this funny book called Operating Instructions by Annie Proust (i think) and she talks about her son's first year, and how she felt that he ruined her life in a way b/c she loves him so much it would destroy her if she lost him! Anyhoo, I am just venting but all you mommies you have been thru this before -- does it get better? the worrying? my best friend has 2 kids and she said that makes you worry even more!


Tillie - July 15

Melissa, I think that's really normal! I feel that way about my daughter, too. Some nights my heart races when I think that something could happen to her--it's irrational, really, because she's not at risk, so I'm just torturing myself! I think it's just because you're so startled by your own vulnerability right now. I mean, have you ever loved anything so much in the world? I loooove my husband, but my love for my daughter is different. It's fierce. I would do anything and everything to keep her safe--and that is certainly anxiety-inducing! I guess we're all "runied" as Anne Lamott said. (Great book, btw!) I don't know if it gets better; this is my first child and she's only 6 weeks! But I bet you'll grow more and more comfortable with your love for your daughter and the anxiety will lesson, eventually.


melissa g. - July 15

thanks for the kind thoughts! that is just how i feel. oops i got that author's name wrong, Lamott, thanks for reminding. OMG parts of that book were so funny - i liked when she said she thought having a baby would be more akin to getting a cat, hee


Ninimartini - July 17

Hello Melissa! I thought that i was the only one who felt like this. I think that i have the worst case though cause I worry about my kids every sec, so bad that there are days when i can't drive. My heart starts racing and I start sweating and i get really moody because i cant control them, and sometimes I get them just by hopeing that i dont get one that day. Sometimes I just worry and don't know why I'am worrying, but most of the time it is cause of my youngest daughter. i thought that i was turning crazy, and i noticed that this happened about 2 weeks after my daughter was born and she is now about to be 1 in one week. I dont know if you get them severe like me or mild but i was wondering if you take anything for them and what? I try natural things like garlic pills and they seem to relax me ,also I take kava kava pills and chammomile tea.Sorry i wrote so much but good luck and try to avoid caffeine cause i read that it really makes you paranoid.......


Narcissus - July 17

Wow, does this hit home! I have told people that becoming a mother is one of the most painful things that has ever happened to me. I am in the most vulnerable relationship of my life and the mere thought of losing my son is enough to bring on tears. This kind of love hurts as much as it feels good...I don't think you can ever prepare for it ahead of time or even justify the experience of motherly love to a non-parent. It is simply incomprehensible unless you are a parent.


melissa g. - July 17

hi nini and narc! yah, its rough this kind of love! i am a first time mommy and i dont think i was prepared for the tidal wave of love and panic that goes in with being a mom, even though I have been wanting to be a mom for my whole life it seems! Nini, I am pretty leery of regular pharmaceuticals oftentimes, so I have learned about natural stuff as well -- one thing you may want to try is the supplement Pa__sionflower -- its for anxiety, I've used it in the past and I find it quite helpful, its subtle but it does work. I used to get mini panic attacks in my 20's. I am so sensitive to caffeine that I have to drink decaf green tea! Basically I have a very sensitive nervous system, hopefully my dd will be more like my zen buddha calm husband! Also, valerian, gaba (an amino acid) and magnesium can help for anxiety. And around my menstrual cycle, I take flax / borage oil and that has helped me with PMS. Anxiety sucks -- I read a book once where the lady was describing her worry and it was like reading about myself -- first she worried that she would never get married, then that she wouldnt be able to get pregnant, then that she would miscarry, then that there would be something wrong with the baby, etc etc -- I did ALL of that, crazy. My parents had the world's most acrimonious divorce when I was in my mid 20's and I know I have anxiety issues stemming from that. Anyhoo, we all just do the best we can. Dont worry Nini, you're not crazy, dont underestimate the power of hormones, I have had lots of fun navigating my way through my hormonal ups and downs over the years. I was terrified that I would get really bad PPD b/c I had such bad PMS, but it wasnt that terrible. Try some calcium/magnesium and the pa__sionflower and see if it helps at all! Oh -- I have also tried Bach's Rescue Remedy for times when I feel really stressed out and that helps a bit too!


rl - July 17

Hi I thought I was alone feeling this way and I am on my 3rd kid...I am older now thought it would get better but the other night me and hubby sat down to watch a movie "The Hills Have Eyes" and I had just put my little guy down to bed and the movie starts and I know it is a scary movie but right in the beginning the people that I know are gonna get killed have a little baby with them I just wanted to turn that movie off!! My little one was crying so I run and grab him up and rock him to sleep I really don't do that much he normally goes right to sleep but I just wanted to hold him and we ended up turning off the movie when the deformed guys took off with the baby.... I love scary movies but when it has something to do with a baby I just can't stand to watch it ha ha lol just thought I would share that!!


Ninimartini - July 17

Cool to know that there are others like me! thanks for the advice Melissa ,I will try them. That is soooooo funny cause I'am very sensitive to caffeine, i can't even have decafe, it has to be no caffeine at all. thanks girls cause I thoght that i was a weirdo, i have been telling dh that I'am going to get help cause I panic so much.I have nvr had a baby sitter for my baby cause I worry way beyond normal. Anyways good luck!



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