Anyone With A Newborn Paranoid

8 Replies
docbytch - October 28

Hi. I just had my son 10/9. I find myself having irrational fears that he will turn out to be abnormal...you know..like retarded or something. It would just crush the shit out of me too if that happened...my dd was always the exact opposite. Anyone else having irrational fears like this? I feel so ridiculous

 

eclectic66 - October 28

Yeah, I too felt the same way in the beginning. I am 36 and I chose NOT to have an amnio when I was prego bc I knew it would not change the outcome of my pregnancy so instead I kept having paranoid thoughts like "will he have Down's syndrome and will they know right after he is born??" etc etc. I also had fears of Autism, but that is one ya don't even really know until later (but it dodn't keep me from looking for any signs...lol) I think it's just a normal right of pa__sage for us as parents...we want our babies to be the perfect angels we already KNOW they are :-)

 

docbytch - October 28

thanks electic. I am 40..had the amnio and found out all was well...chromosomally anyway. But...it does not dissuade the fear entirely. He was born via csection and required a fair amount of suctioning before he would breathe. Not to mention he had a 5 hour episode of transient tachypnea of the newborn...so I have these delusions of "anoxic brain injury" running through my head. Oh and did I mention I am an RN with extensive medical training?? Yikes. I drive myself crazy. Oh and how are your hands doing?? Mine are still numb...not only is it carpal tunnel...it's DeQuervains too. Want it to GO AWAY!!!!

 

eclectic66 - October 28

Docbyth-That's right..I forgot that you are also an RN like myself!! Yes, sometimes I think that can actually make matters worse...lol Too much information on the things that can go wrong. It's funny how much of my nursing knowledge totally goes out the window when it comes to my own child...lol I am soooo sorry to hear you still have the numb fingers as well. I still have yet to regain the sensation in my fingers on my right hand and I'm already 13 weeks pp. It's ridiculous!! DeQuervains too?? God, so on top of being numb you are having pain! Is there anything they can do for it? Do they have you on any medication for it?? My little man was also born via emergency c-section after he got stuck after 2 hours of pushing...so yeah, I had all those thoughts too...minus the suctioning. he seemed to have no proplems with a hearty scream as soon as he saw the light..lol Keep me posted on your hands!!

 

Terio - October 29

Omg, how could you say something so horrible!?!? Just kidding. The first week or so of my daughter's life (born 8/9), I questioned whether she was normal (man, that sounds weird actually saying or typing that). I told no one. She made faces that were strikingly odd to me, and she wouldn't look at me, even when being fed. She seemed very slow, even for an infant, with her reactions. And I also didn't know that they have two soft spots, so the one in the very front.. I was questioning myself as to whether part of her cranium was missing. (gee, now you don't feel so ridiculous, do ya? ha!) I got sidetracked from her missing cranium one evening when the dog barked and she didn't respond. Everything was crystal clear: she was deaf. I would love her unconditionally and help her through life no matter what it took. I would learn sign language. Oh but wait - then she heard the door slam two nights later, so she was fine. I think I'm a pretty level-headed person normally, but my mind was playing tricks on me those first few days. The strange thing is I am absolutely not a pessimist - thinking 'everything is going to be fine' has been my mindset my whole life, even at times when it probably shouldn't have been. But that was a strange few days, having those things run through my head. Actually, now that I'm typing this, I think that severe lack of sleep added to clouding my judgment a little bit, although I wouldn't have thought so at the time. Within no time though, those concerns faded away. She's completely healthy. But I totally understand you posting this. I felt the same way, too. I bet more people than would admit do. So you're certainly not alone. :-)

 

docbytch - October 29

Terio....My Derek only looks at me some of the time...other times he seems to be looking through me. Its one of the reasons for this paranoia I guess. Unlike a lot of new moms..I try to see my son objectively? Just because he is mine doesn't mean he is perfect....despite the fact I want very much to think he is. I sure hope he is. Guess only time is going to tell...just keep on the alert for those milestones. Eclectic: If the pain and numbness persist for much longer I am going to get it checked out. You know how nurses need their hands to do things like start IVs!! I gotta be able to go back to work soon...our family is not solvent enough for me not to.

 

Mrs.Steve - October 30

I understand completey, docbytch. My dh's nephew has Aspbergers (a form of Autism). We don't think it came from dh's family, but you just never know. Honestly, my biggest fear right now is SIDS. I haven't slept since I bought my lo home. Dh and I are so freaked out, that we leave a light on at night so we can see her in the ba__sinet next to us. We both wake up many many many times a night when she's not feeding just to look at her. That's why I haven't posted my birth story...I'm too tired! Anyone else consumed by the fear of that?

 

tish212 - October 30

Mrs Steve- I had the same problem with my first fostercare newborn...it was so bad I would hold the baby and sit up to sleep...that way the baby was against me and I could feel him breath.... once I got over that fear and tried to get him to sleep in the crib...I ended up with the same problem docbytch is having...he wouldn't laydown...the second I put him in the crib he'd scream....it got really bad... but after a while he grew out of it... he eventually started to sleep in the crib...and if that didn't work I'd put him in his car seat...but it took him time to grow out of it....I know it seems like it wll never change but it will...the lo will grow outta it... I honesty think some babies are like that.... try to keep ur cool and if it gets really bad...put the baby in his crib..even if he's crying close his bedroom door and take 5 minutes to calm down... just sit and remove urself from the stress.... I had to do it several times just to keep together...please don't consider urself a bad mom or start to feel guilty its normal...ur lacking sleep and u feel u can't figure ur baby out...but its not like that.... it takes time to get to know ur lo and he has to come to terms with being "out" its not always instant like people a__sume.... give it time...and give urself time....that means take that 5 minutes as often as u need.... it helps trust me... but know it won't be like this forever...he has to grow outta it... just keep trying everything over and over againt...eventually he will find on he likes...gl and hugs

 

docbytch - October 31

I'm scared of SIDS too. I check my baby many many times when I am sleeping...it's like I cannot sleep that soundly anymore out of worrying for him

 

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