Baby In Bed With Me

87 Replies
d - November 6

I think there is no doubt that an infant whether co-sleeping or sleeping in a crib next to parents in the same room ( as in may case), they both receive that "comfort" at night. My sisiter-in-law had her children in a separate room with a night light but as soon as she heard the slightest whimper she would check. I don't think her infant felt abandoned because she knew her mom would be there for her. I don't see this as a concern but only going back to safety issue and being too attached. Jamie I can understand that having your infant spend as much time as she can is improtant to you because your husband will be leaving for a long time. I'm genuinely happy for you and I am sure you are both being careful. Everyone is different. I'm a heavy sleeper so I know I won't be good at it. When I was about 5 years old, there were a few times that I felt alone sleeping in a separate room. So in the middle of the night in the dark, I would quietly, walk down the hall through the kitchen to sleep with my parents. There was no room at the top so I would sleep at the bottom where their legs were. I realized it was better to sleep on my own because it was uncomfortable in their bed. So I understand that cosleeping sometimes maybe needed. I cannot see how it benefits long term but only that children get too attached and making the transition to sleep independlety will take longer. Not that its wrong. It's cute. It reminds me of a different attachment like Charlie Brown with his blanket.


Jamie - November 10

Well, looks like I have to give up co-sleeping. Another hazard of sharing a bed: my daughter has recently started kicking, even in her sleep. Last night, she kicked my husband in his most tender of parts. So, he put his foot down, and said she has to be in her crib by Thanksgiving.


Jules - November 10

I think co-sleeping does make it easier for nightly feedings but I have to tell you. My son now goes to bed around 10 and doesn't wake up until 3 but the bad thing is he sleeps with me the entire time. He has to be in my arms or on my chest. He is 3.5 weeks old and I can't sleep. The moment I put him in the ba__sinet right next to the bed he wakes up and starts crying. My entire upper body is sore from holding him and I can't sleep because I am worried about smothering him and I love to lay on my side or stomach but it is impossible. My 3 year old has now figured out that he can also come into our bed at about 2am since the baby is in there sleeping so now we have 4 in bed with us and everyone is sleeping besides me. I don't know what I am going to do???????


lisa - November 10

i know its rare but a lady from my town rolled on to her daughter at 1 week and killed her, was in local paper


Erin - November 11

You guys all have great arguements for co-sleeping and it sounds wonderful, but I am just not willing to take the slightest risk when my baby is involved. When the experts say (as d mentioned) that it will increase the risk of SIDS to co-sleep, then I'm just not going to do it, no matter how comfy and nice it is--why would I put my baby at extra risk? Also there was a story from Kimberly around the end of Oct. where her friend's baby died and the doctor said specifically that it was due to co-sleeping. How could I forgive myself? I would never trade a cozy night's sleep with my baby when there is a risk (AT ALL) that they might die. I don't understand how anyone can. Isn't it also nice to have the ba__sinet next to the bed and know that the baby is right there? Not to mention the HUGE strain that co-sleeping puts on your marriage/partnership, which I believe EVERYONE has agreed exists.


d - November 16

On Nov. 4th, Lovely had mentioned that for her 6 year old it was o.k to go to sleep on his own bed. But to wait for 6 years? Also Freud my have some good points on the psychos_xual development which he explains from infancy and how the type of upbringing affects the s_xual development. It all depends on how much. Too little or too much of attachment. From his observation of his adult patients it all goes back to upbringing to understand their thinking and behaviour. I think its used today to understand things such as some cases of adult depression or why people don't want to get too attached or close in relationships. Penis envy? I don't know but the type of attachment-(Margaret Mahler's theory of separation-individuation process in childhood starting from infancy) can have an affect on the person's personality and individuation. Very interesting I thought.


Please note - November 16

Freud was a raving cocaine addict.


d - November 16

What Freud did may be explained by his theory. Maybe he was weaned off too early and yearns oral satifaction. The mouth being a psychos_xual zone. I think Frued may have psychoa___lyzed himself too to explain his behaviours.


m - November 16

Did they have cocaine in the 1930's and how did they take it?


mama-beans - November 17

My daughter slept in our bed till she was 6 months old.. it was just easier for everyone. Her day-time naps were in her crib, but at night, after her 1st wake-up, she was in bed with us. I know it is recommended against because of SIDS, so I don't "recommend" to everyone else, but for us, who are light sleepers anyway, this worked out well. She eventually stopped waking up at night, so now, at 13 months, has been sleeping in her own bed all night since 8 months.


to M - November 21

The coca plant was not discovered in the 1980's, so that "Miami Vice" could be supplied with story lines. Coca leaves were used as a panacea and local anesthetic throughout the history of the Incan Empire of Peru. Europeans began to experiment with it in the late 1800's, but it was introduced to them in the 1500's. Until the 1920's they took it in just about everything, it was "cure all" even given to children in medicine. Dangers of cocaine wasn't realised until the 20's. Freud by the way died in 1939, by this time regulation of cocaine use had been put in place.


Heavenly - November 22

My little one is 5 months old and has slept with me every night since she was born. I know what you mean cuz I b___st feed too. It is way easier.



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