Boys Will Be Boys

26 Replies
ash2 - February 2

And i can relate toy your fears about the gun being over at someone else's house too sonya. That is a big fear of mine too. But i would hate to base the fact that i wasnt going to let my child play with toy guns because he " might " go over to someones house and he " might " get into a cabinet and he " might " know how to use it. I do eduacate him that do not ever touch a gun , unless he asks me or dad first. However, i am also one of those parents that i will not let him go over to anyones house without me knowing the parents and " drilling " them about things...( yeah, i am one of those, lol) I am such a paranoid mom, and i do get overly protective, i just hope i am one of those moms that knows where to draw the line. I can see where you are coming from though, sonya. I was in your shoes one year ago ! I am still undecided ! ( AHHH)

 

lexa - February 2

ash, just keep in mind that it comes down to educating the boys on the topic. The less they are taught, the more they seek out somewhere else. That's when things can turn bad. As long as you teach them, they will be okay. Keep in mind, he is 4 right now. He will process some of it, but maybe not all of it. That is where repet_tion comes in to play. Keep going over what you are teaching him all of the time. He will know and he'll be a smart kid in the choices that he makes! Good luck.

 

Jelly - February 3

hmm, ash, i wasn't even thinking about those super violent games and such, i mean, like my 6 year old plays a ninja turtle game, and it is aimed at his age level, nonetheless it is violent, the ninja's are fighting against each other and using weapons!!! including dagers and swords.... that Is violent in my opinion, but I let him play, i won't ( when he is older) let him play those crazy rated m games ...... those games get kids hypnotized,... wow, and they do turn into introverted freaks often times from playing them all day long! I teach highscool math and I can always tell which boys are the gamers! ;-)

 

Lisastar9 - February 3

Last year there was a young adult who went into a college in Quebec and ramdonlly killed people he never knew. Is motive was from playing video games on the computer(SCARY). This happened in Montreal Quebec Canada

 

sophandbob - February 3

I cannot comment as a mum, as my little boy is only 6 months. I understand your feelings though. I wouldn't want my boy to have a fascination with guns either, and I cannot see myself buying them for him. However, I can comment a a teacher of boys, as I have observed boys behaviours on the playground. Many many boys play fight, either through wrestling or through imitating guns. They make guns out of their arms or with a stick if they can find one. The boys who do this are certainly ones who I would consider to have issues with their behaviour to various different degrees, but there are also boys who do this that are not. The boisterous behaviour is not transferred to the cla__sroom and they know where the cut off it. And this is where I believe good parenting has come in, and certainly sounds like you lad would fall into this latter category. Boys certainly do immitate what they see on TV (just as girls do) and they do act this out on the playground and in other situations. It is one of the way children process information and prepare themselves for life, and so I do not think you will be able to escape this exposure. As you've said it is difficult to find programmes with little or no 'violence' (humerous and playful or otherwise). I think you are dealing with it in a postive manner, and what your husband says is very true. I don't think you have much to worry about.

 

sahmof3 - February 3

Lisastar... I know. Some of those really violent games are bad news. Last year there was a high school student (well, homeschooled high schooler) in our home town who was into those games. He went to his girlfriend's house, shot and killed her parents and abducted her.... her younger siblings were home at the time. Police found them (I think in Indiana). Turns out he and a friend had been sneaking around town with guns acting out the "stalking" from the games before this all happened. Got a bit OT there, but... as far as guns... my son is 6 1/2 and hasn't seen any violent shows... mostly because I don't buy them and we have cra**y... I mean basic... cable and only get PBS kids lol. My son has shown no interest in playing with toy guns or pointing his finger like it's a gun at all. So, I have no plan to buy any toy guns or introduce them, since he doesn't even want one. I DO educate him about the difference b/w ppl hunting with guns and ppl wanting to hurt others w/ guns... and that he should never touch one even if he thinks it is a toy. I just don't know about at a friend's house. If there's a gun that really is just a toy and he played with it I wouldn't freak or anything, BUT some ppl are truly stupid and if those kids thought they were just going to be playing toy guns and they really weren't...that's what scares me!! I won't buy toy guns, knives, etc., though. I just don't like them and I don't see the point because there are so many other things to play with. As far as when they get older and play with friends... well, I think maybe he will be curious and want to play with them, maybe he won't. Just because he MAY encounter it someday doesn't mean I have to have them around my house now. I do respect that others have a different view. My best friend's son has knives, guns and swords. Just differing opinions, that's all. Attentive parenting and knowing where your kids are and when are probably more important in the end than whether or not you allow those things in the home, anyway, IMO.

 

sahmof3 - February 3

Sorry for the novel. I often underestimate how much I typed lol.

 

ash2 - February 4

Thanks for all the advice ladies....i think i have come to some kind of decision : )

 

rl- - February 4

Hey ash well I have two older boys and yes it is normal for them to play with guns as long as they are shooting at make believe stuff and your ds seems to be doing that..I always make sure my boys know right from wrong when it comes to things like that when my oldest was younger and "Grandtheft auto" game came out he had to have it and ya know what I let him but I talked to him about the game like did he know he could not do those things himself and he told me he knew it was only a game and if he tried to do that stuff for real he knew it was wrong and he would get in big trouble I think instead of telling the kid they can not have something that it is best to get it and just supervise them or if not they are gonna get around it some other place with out your guidence and input...but you must do what is best for your kids that is just what I do.

 

KLC - February 4

I have two older sons ages 9 and 8. I was the one who never let them play with guns of any kind. I even bought them these fish water squirters instead of water guns because I felt so strongly about it. Then when they started going to school and having playdates wth friends it was inevitable that they came into contact with toy guns. I still have never bought them a toy gun but they did get one ofthose Nerf guns for their birthday this year. I just had a discussion with them about guns and how you should never point a toy gun or any thing that could be a weapon at anyone. I'm not thrilled about it but I guess it is true that they are boys and they will want to play with those type of toys. So I would just continue as you are monitoring him with the toys and as long as you don't see any change in behavior then I wouldn't worry about it. I think your son sounds like he has a good handle on how to play with them.

 

ash2 - February 5

Thanks, klc...he does have a good handle on them. He does know not to point it at people..like today, we were going around the house shooting at " make-believe " monsters around every corner, lol

 

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