Bringing Baby To A Funeral

14 Replies
EricaG - March 14

My second cousin just died yesterday of an an aneurysm and I should go to the funeral, I didn't know her extremely well, but both me and my daughter are named after her mother (middle names), besides I want to pay my respects to my grandmother and her siblings. The thing is, if I go I will have to bring my 8 month old daughter and I don't know if that's appropriate. She is br___tfed (every 3 hours) and I only have one bottle pumped and frozen, even then it's a 6 oz. bottle and she could drink 8 oz. easily, and I can't pump a whole other bottle in just a couple days. If the funeral was in a town where I actually knew someone who could babysit for her, like my mil, then I would leave her with my mil and come home to nurse her. But the funeral is quite a ways away so that wouldn't work. So what do you think? Should I go to the funeral and bring my baby or should I just send soem flowers and my sympathies and stay home?

 

Allie - March 14

I would take her. My niece was close to to the same age when my grandfather died, and having her at the funeral actually helped...seeing the new life, it kind of gives something to hold on to.

 

mcatherine - March 14

I would take Hudson if I were in that situation. (We actually did take him to a viewing and funeral two weeks ago - and he wasn't the only baby there) A church or funeral parlor will have a place to nurse her if needed, and then at the house or restaurant after the service, she will bring a smile to people's faces, despite their sadness - maybe something they will need at the time. I remember my mother's funeral. I hung on to my 7 month old niece the entire time. She made me smile. She made everyone smile. Also, it is fine to just attend the viewing to pay respects if you don't want to attempt the funeral with the baby. And if you decide on neither - flowers are a perfecty acceptable way to pay respects. People understand when there is a little one involved.

 

Emily - March 14

I would take her. The family might liek to see the young ones at a time like this. Family is familya dn they shouldn't mind if you brought her. Also does she take formula at all? You could always stick a bottle in your bag in case she desides she is hungry durring a time that is not convienant to nurse her. My dd is b___stfeed, but I usually take pumped milk or on rare occations, formula in case we are somewhere that I can not easily feed her. I do not mind feeding in public, but now that she is this age, she is more awae of what is going on and wont nurse in public without showing more of me than I am comfortable with.....she will pick the most inopertune times to just pull off and look around leaving me exposed! Just a thought. If it were me, I would go and take the baby. We have taken Mary to several funerals. People always get a smile form her and she makes people smile even if it is the last thing they want to do.

 

EricaG - March 14

Thanks! I guess I'll take her then, I was just afraid of offending anyone, but I think you're right, that she will bring a smile to people's faces. Emily, she will take formula reluctantly, she'll get about 2 ounces in and realize it's not mommy milk and then she'll start pulling off the bottle and we have to coax her to finish it, even then she doesn't take as much as she would if it was b___stmilk in the bottle, but that's a good idea. we can bring formula and if she doesn't want it then I can always leave to feed her. Thanks ladies!

 

kellens mom - March 14

I debated this question when dd was 5 months old. I decided to leave her home and was glad I did. I saw a couple of other mom's with babies...they both had to get up and leave because of fussing and disturbance. You know your baby better then we do. Will she sit quietly? If you do go, I might suggest that you sit right next to the door to minimize disturbance if you have to leave.

 

Kara H. - March 14

Is there anyone who go with you, in case she gets fussy? Are any of your immidate family members going that could help out. I know Max, who will be 8 months this friday, likes to go, go, go and will start shrieking, then crying if not quickly entertained, if he has to sit on my lap at a doctor's appointment or at the BMV. I would also take some small toys that don't make noise to help keep her occupied.

 

EricaG - March 14

She is a very good baby and I don't think that she would fuss a lot at the funeral, she sits through church services just fine every Sunday. But I would probably sit as close to the door as possible so that I could exit quietly if I had to . All of my close family members are going to be there so there will be no shortage of hands to pa__s her off to. I wasn't too worried about her behavior, I was more worried that it may be bad etiquette to bring a baby to a funeral.

 

MM - March 14

Even if your baby does get fussy & you need to leave, the family will see that you tried your best & probably appreciate that you showed up.

 

nickie13 - March 14

hey i took my 3 .5 month old to my grandfathers and she did fine. after the funeral everyone wanted to hold her. everything is going to be fine. (m ind ya i was on pins and needles for the whole thing lol)

 

jb - March 14

I also think you should take her. I think Allie said it best. Seeing new life kind of gives something to hold on to. After the funeral, you will be glad you took her, and I'd bet that other people will be glad too.

 

Renea - March 14

I say bring her too. We just went to a funeral about 2 weeks ago with all my kids (youngest was 11 months). It was during nap time too--so wasn't sure if going to go. But in the end, I was glad that I went, and so was the family.

 

ash2 - March 14

Well i havent read all the other responses so i might be repeating someone, but i was in this situation this past week when my grandfather pa__sed away. I didnt want to take my baby or my 4 year old because i didnt want my 4 year old to look at this, and i didnt want my baby to act up during the ceromony ( and he would have ) ...thankfully we got some people from the church to watch them in the nursery untill the funeral was over. If you cant find anyone to watch them in the back or the nursery, then i would take them, but maybe sit in the back in case you have to leave....

 

mischelly30 - March 15

I brought my son to a funeral for a friend's spouse when he was 2 months old. There were actually a *lot* of babies there. We sat in the back, and we left when he got fussy (it was a long service--3 hours. We made it to the 2 hour mark!).

 

tnmommyof2 - March 15

My dh's grandmother pa__sed away just a few months ago and we left the kids at home. My daughter is 7 and the baby was 10 months. I actually wish we had taken at least the baby. It would have been a welcomed distraction and he was so young he wouldn't get upset with the viewing ect. So I say take her.

 

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