Can You Spoil A Baby By Holding Too Much

10 Replies
poohcma102 - November 24

I have a 1 month old girl and all she wants to do is have me hold her. I try and put her down in her crib, bassinet, boucer or car seat and she stays there for about 2 or 3 minutes and than all heck breaks lose. She is sound asleep when I put her down but like I said she wakes up and starts screaming and crying until I pick her up. She wont even stop crying if her father picks her up. Its very hard to do anything especially take care of my 4 year old. I am really worried when I have to go back to work in January. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

mommyofgrace - November 24

From what I have heard and read, you cannot spoil a baby under 6 months old. Some babies just want to be held more than others. Your daughter is only a month old. She doesn't know how to manipulate or anything so I wouldn't worry about spoiling her. Hold her as much as you can, but dont feel guilty if you just cant get to her right away. She'll learn in time how to comfort herself some.

 

sunniesmile - November 25

i was sooo worried about that also, but i totally agree with mommyofgrace - even my dr. told me you can't spoil them this early -- just think of how they are use to feeling all snuggled up and warm inside your tummy - hold and love on her all you want!!!

 

Val - November 25

No, you can't spoil a one month old by holding her too much - they need your comforting touch at this age. Do you have any wearable baby carriers? We've used a Snugli, a Moby, and a Bjorn and have liked them all. Good luck!

 

angeev - November 25

I have also heard you can't spoil them before 6 months. My guy is 1 month and he wants held lots too, but I think it is more of a seperation anxiety thing. I cuddle him abit and then can put him back down and he is fine. The carriers Val suggested have worked wonders for me!

 

kimberly - November 26

At 1 month old you can hold them as much as they need you to. But, I think you can spoil them before 6 months. My dd is 3.5 months and she is spoiled to being held now. At about 3 to 4 months they start to become more alert and aware of people and thier surroundings and then I think they can be spoiled. That doesn't mean you shouldn't hold them but they also need to learn how to amuse themselves for short periods of time. I have started putting my dd in front of her toys more and she does start to fuss but the more I do it the longer she will stay there and play.

 

DDT - November 26

I agree that you can't spoil a 1 month old by holding them because they are still so new. BUT I also agree with kimberly. By 3-4 months try to allow your baby space to himself/herself so that they learn to amuse themselves and then their seperation anxiety that can happen at 6 months old won't be as severe. I made the mistake of constantly holding my lo at any sign of whining. By 5-6 months old he was unable to amuse himself for longer than 2 mins without crying for me. Then he got a bad case of seperation anxiety at 6 months that lasted about 1.5 months. It was terrible. I couldn't leave him alone for 2 mins...even being in the same room wasn't enough. I had to be on the floor with him 100%. Finally at about 7.5 months he started learning to amuse and play by himself for short periods. And now (9 months) that he's crawling every where he can go up to 30 mins playing by himself.

 

kristie h - November 26

I don't think you can spoil a 1 month old but i also agree with Kimberley. My DS who is now 8 and 1/2 weeks was the same as your LO. I have a 3 year old so i sometimes had to let my younger son cry while i attended to my older son and you know what, after a few minutes he would stop crying! The only thing i would NOT do is jump to the LO cry unless its high pitched from word go which usually means pain.

 

kristie h - November 26

sorry i emnt to say, i think you cant spoil a 1 month old.

 

IrinaZ - November 27

I have a 5 mo old and still don't think that you can spoil him by holding him too much. He gets plenty of time playing by himself (with me in sight), but some days he wants to be held all the time. I give it to him. We all have needs for physical contacts. As adults, we can communicate our needs to our partners, but babies can only cry to let us know that they want us to hold them and snuggle with them. I wouldn't deny my DH physical and emotional support, so why would I deny my child? I got multiple slings that my son seems to like and I just carry my baby with me when I do things around the house. Have to admit, it gets difficult for my back some days, but I think it's worth it. The way I look at it - I like holding him as much as he likes being held. Years from now I won't be able to force him to snuggle with me:)

 

MNMOM - November 27

You cannot spoil a baby period, especially not one under a year and maybe even under 2! Some babies just need more physical contact....as hard as this is for you, just do the best you can and know that is a phase and will get better. Your baby needs you! :)

 

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