CIO Is So Hard Dont Know What Else To Do Help

11 Replies
madison - November 7

i just need to vent i guess, it's been a horrible week! or longer really. for the past couple weeks, i've been putting my dd (almost 8 months) down for naps awake and she is not taking it well. the minute we walk in her room for nap time she starts screaming. we used to rock her but she even started screaming with that, she just didnt want to be in her room at all. so about 2 weeks ago i started letting her CIO for naps. most of the time it lasts only 5-10 min but today she went on for 35 min and once yesterday it was 20 min. we've also just started CIO at night because she's been waking once a night since last friday (so before time change) and we can not get her back to sleep- we tried everything- she just wants someone to hold her. i did that for a long time the first and second nights and then decided that was not going to work and we are doing CIO. i HATE to hear her cry and see her (we have a video monitor) but we just dont know what else to do anymore. for a month or two she used to go down for naps awake on her own, i think she was 5 months, but it ended and we are back to square one. does anyone have any success stories or know when my dd should start getting better? oh, the nights recently when she woke up she slept till morning after we got her back to sleep. she has a routine, naps at pretty much the same times every day (9 and 1) and bedtime around 7:30, and she wakes between 6:30-7am.

 

priya79 - November 7

Madison: my dd is 8 mos old and I am going thru the exact same phase for the last whole month!..She cries once she sees her crib (she sleeps in our room still) and screams and screams until we hold her and WALK..The worst part is she stands up immediately once I lay her in her crib and no matter how long it takes she stands and cries...No sign of sleeping..Once I hold her she sleeps in about 10 min...Yesterday the same thing happened and once I hold her she was calm...I tried putting in my dresses in her crib (I experimented with anything and everything) and she went to sleep in the crib in just abot 5 min..If the reason for crying is seperation anxiety then the technique shd work today also..Lets see..I will update you!!

 

MelissaK - November 7

I have to throw a laugh in here ladies to lighten your day. We had to banish our dog to the garage because he is acting aggresive towards the baby (we'll just have to seperate them forever - he's 14 so no retraining to be had, and I'm not giving him up in his twilight years). Anyway, his first day in his very posh playpen I made for him in the garage, with all his toys, a window with great light and the stereo playing, he barked for 7 SOLID HOURS. No break at all, just bark bark bark. I don't know how you can handle any CIO, the dog alone barking was enough to drive me insane!

 

yogi - November 7

i may be able to help you, i hope, have you tried keeping her up an extra 30 - 45 min befor each nap and bed time it is going to be hard at first but actually easier than CIO. but she will be so tierd that she might go right to sleep. i am doing it right now with my dd and it works great. ((((hug))))

 

DDT - November 7

I don't really have any other suggestions besides CIO at this stage. I can understand where you're coming from though because my ds is 8 months old and his naps and bedtime have become harder and harder over the last month. Before that he was great and easy with both. Now I've had to resort to CIO on several occasions....actually I'm going through one right now. He's been crying for 15 mins but seems to be quiet right now so hopefully he is down for a nap. I find the 2nd nap harder than the 1st...but have problems with the 1st being too short (30-45mins). This morning after a 30min nap stint I went in and rubbed his forehead and made shush-shush noises until he was calm....then I said "Its time to nap...Mama will see you later" I walked out and he cried for about 2 mins and was then out for another 45mins. Try not to pick your lo up because this will only excite them more. Also, I don't think keeping her up later will help...it may just add to the chaos by making her over-tired. Good luck!

 

DB - November 7

I would suggest a slightly earlier bedtime. For US, the early to bed, late to rise saying is TOTALLY true. I don't know how your dd's naps are but most babies still need 14-15 hours of sleep (naps included per day). Sometimes just making the bedtime 15-30 minutes earlier can make a huge difference in naps and night-sleeping. When my dd gets in a 2+ day of bad naps, or getting to bed too late it seems that is when she sleeps the worst and then her naps the next day suffer as well. It may not work for your's but it's worth a try. I know I've put my dd to bed at 5:45pm and she didn't wake up til 7:15am!! She was sooo rested and happy after getting such a good nights sleep that all her naps fell into place pretty easily. And, during CIO I'd suggest putting on some music so you can't hear every peep she's making...it's hard, it sucks, but it works :)

 

catgiggles - November 7

The CIO method just sucked for us we just now quit trying it. I have a "high struck strong willed" baby (those are my peds words exactly and we were not discussing sleep habits haha he observes them for a long period of time during well baby, 50 mins during our 6 month appointment including talking to us too which he does while observing him..I'm not sure if this is standard or b/c he was a preemie and we had to watch for delays but are all clear now). It has only worked on nite when according to the timer he cried for 53 mins. The other two nites he got hurt and 30something and then 47 mins. (I think haha this was just a few days ago but sleep depervation gets me mixed up). He has bruises on the side of his head and his nose. I just can't take it. We tried the pat and leave stuff w/o picking him up. Laying him back down etc. Kudos for those that can do it we just cant seem to get him to give in w/o injury lol I guess I'm a softy but for now it was just to hard for me to deal w/. He also screams til he hyperventalates (sp?). I'm not sure if that is the normal tho?

 

madison - November 8

thanks everyone! she did great last night. she woke up a couple times but put herself back to sleep within like a minute each time, i watched her on the video monitor. and this morning she cried for less than 5 min, then slept for over an hour, which is about normal. so, so far today she is doing better, but DDT, like your lo, mine has a harder time with the afternoon nap. yogi, i cant really put her down later most days because i babysit 2 afternoons a week and we have to leave the house at a certain time, so my dd has to have had her nap by then. this is why i am working so hard at getting her nap times on "schedule" and at the approximate same times each day. DB, her bedtime is 7:30, give or take 15 minutes, and i dont think i could make it much earlier but maybe its worth a try. we kinda played around with her bedtime a while back and we found out that she still wakes up between 6:30-7 no matter how early or late we put her to bed. she's just an early riser i guess. so she normally gets around 11 hours at night and on a "normal" day gets 3 hours of nap, so thats normal for her age.

 

krc - November 8

i personally think that a baby just wants to be close to it's mother. It's more comforting and nurturing that way. I don't believe in the CIO method. I tried that for about a week when my son was around 5 months old and decided to lay down with him for a nap instead. Now at 15 months old, getting him to nap is a breeze...I just lay down with him and in about 5 -20 minutes he's out and then I just creep away from the bed. ( of course this is what works for me and doesn't mean it fit's into someone one's lifestyle).

 

DDT - November 8

krc: Your baby/toddler needs you to nap though. Some mom's have to go to work so their child needs to know how to fall asleep on their own at daycare. Like you already said...it doesn't suit everyone's lifestyle...probably only for SAHM's.

 

madison - November 12

i just wanted to post our progress. my dd has slept through the night for 5 straight nights now! she still wakes up 2-3 times each night (or maybe more if i dont hear her) but she cries or fusses for less than a minute probably and will put herself back to sleep! i havent had to go in her room for 5 nights! so exciting. but i'm not saying the problem is fixed forever, just glad it has gotten better. not sure if it was CIO or what though. now for naps she still cries when i put her down awake but it doesnt last long usually- anywhere from 1min-15min seems to be the most lately. and, i've also found out that when she wakes from a nap after only 30 min and wakes up crying, i am leaving her for up to 10 min, and she usually puts herself back to sleep for another hour. she's done this a few times in the past week. well, hope this lasts for a while and i also hope your lo's are sleeping well this week!

 

RIbarra12 - November 14

My daughter sleeps about 11 hours a night or even more when she doesn't have a nap. She is 5 months old and I would rather her sleep through then night then have a nap during the day. So, when it comes to napping during the day...she has her own schedule and will fall asleep anywhere (the car, playpen, swing, etc) Bedtime is always the same. A bath, book then bed at 7:30. If she happens to get up in the middle of the night I turn on this little mushroom (by remote) that puts on like a 2 minute light show on her ceiling. She pa__ses out right after that. It's comforts her. Maybe you should try something like that. Something that comforts her when you aren't in the room.

 

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