Day Care Decision Dilemma

8 Replies
Elle - June 6

I will be returning to work in two weeks and unfortunately must put my 11 week old dd in daycare. She will mostly be there 1/2 days since I'm lucky enough to have a field position. My first choice would be to stay at home with her, but that is not yet possible although I'm working on it. My dilemma is this: Infant care is very difficult to find here, and most places have a very long waiting list. We were "fortunate" enough to find two places with openings, now we must decide between the two. One is a large well known chain in a very secure locked building, however the infant room here has children from 0-12 months, including walkers and big babies! The lead teacher said they would keep dd safe from the bigger babies by keeping her in her crib while the older babies played, and vice versa. I can already see dd being confined to her crib for hours on end, helpless and crying, while the big kids run the show. Plus, the lead teacher here has four kids of her own so I can't see her sticking around in this position long. DD would then be forced to get to know someone else. The second option has two separate rooms for babies 0-6 months and 7-12 months. This is more of a family business with about 5 locations in the area. Unfortunately this building is not kept locked and any yahoo could walk in here at any time. The infant room is just inside the unlocked door too. Scary. We must decide by the end of the day as they are only holding our space until then. How do I choose? How do I pick the best of the worst? What other things should I consider? The whole thing makes me sick but we really have no choice. I'm sure there are moms out there who have their babies in day care - what are your thoughts? Sorry this is so long, and thanks for any NON-JUDGMENTAL feedback.


hello - June 6

I used to work in daycare and here in aus its a standard 0 to 2 room so 0 to 1 is amazing i think, in some centres there is the occasional 0- 1 room... I read your plight and i am sorry for what u are going thru... If i had to choose i would go with choice no 2 as there is no reason they need to keep ur child in a crib while the others r up as u said the first place would do... I have never heard of this in my life, supervision is what is meant to happen and the stupid woman telling u that is wrong, u should have asked her why she doesnt just supervise the kids, noone does this, not even a 0 - 2 room, staff supervise and interact with the kids regardless of age... Go with the second one..... ask them why the centre isnt more secured.... it still should be fine though but if u are concerned ask why it isnt, i am sure its part of accreditation to be locked, i a__sume centres r accredited there too... good luck and that would be my pick.....


pbj - June 6

I worked in a daycare when I was younger, on top of that I was the a__st. teacher with infants 6 weeks-1 year. All I can say is that daycares have a high turnover rate regardless, they simply do not make a lot of money and many times the women who work there are attending school to persue better jobs. I would say that I disagree with "hello". The woman telling you she would place your LO in a crib is simply because it is difficult to feed, change, comfort, play etc with 4 babies all at the same time. So, if one baby is walking around, it can be difficult to ensure that a non-mobile baby playing on the floor with be ok. That being said, if she told you she would put him in the crib when this occurs, be sure she would do it more than just often. I think two baby rooms 0-6 months and 6-12 mths is great. However, I would be concerned about the safety issue more than anything else, in the crib whatever! A baby placed in a crib all day will ultimately still be fine, personally I would be more concerned with safety. I think you can talk to the teacher and express concerns with placing your LO in the crib excessively. Dealing with an owner and trying to get he/she to make a building more secure can be a bit more difficult.


HannahBaby - June 6

I would pick the smaller one with the 2 seperate rooms. I have seen kids that are bigger (non intentionally) hurt the younger kids (as we all know it only take one second for something to happen, i took my daughter to aa play group and a little kid knocked a chair on her head)and not just that but i dont think that its healthy for your baby to be in a crib all day. She needs stimulation and interaction. And besides that, i know alot of people who have their kids in day care and none of them have locked doors. I wouldent let that hinder your decision. They may not lock the doors because its a firehazard (kind of like they cant lock the doors in schools.) What ever you choose good luck and think about what is best for you baby, not what makes you feel the best.


Marlene - June 6

Hi I agree with pbj I would place my baby in the bigger daycare where there is more safety. Yes two rooms is better then one but that one doesnt sound to safe. Talk to the teacher about keeping your baby in the crib for too long I'm sure she will understand. May you can send a bouncer seat with her and they can put her in that instead of directly on the floor. Please let us know which one you pick.GOODLUCK and go with your instincts.


Sarahsmommy - June 6

I'm sure having the 2 opioions doesn't help but I would go with the second one. I would not want my baby to be placed in a crib just because the older ones need to play. I'm sure that there have been no problems with the building being unlocked before because this would no longer be an issue if it was. But I would also check on the type of neighbor hood just to check that it's ok. Also do they have like a front desk person here? This could be part of the reason.


YC - June 6

I dont know which one you should choose but I just wanted to say that I know how hard it is to put your 11 week old in daycare. My dd was 11 weeks when I started taking her to a sitter. It is hard but over time as you get used to the routine it gets easier. Allow yourself some time to go through all of the emotions. I cried like a baby when I dropped her off the first time. We have to work so that we can provide for our babies and get them the things they need. They will understand this when they get older. Please dont let anyone make you feel bad for being a working mommy. We do what we have to do to take care of these precious blessings!!! Good luck. Let us know which one you choose.


galvquodi - June 6

Go for the family-run business. Your little one needs lots of attention and love and will get it more from what you describe in the family-run business. The odds of a crazy person coming in and taking your child are very very very slim. I would address your concern to the staff and make sure they take care of that problem. I knwo how hard it is. I still can't get used to the idea of living by sweet little baby in the care of strangers... I even thought of hiring a nanny or even an au pair.... Good luck


Sarahsmommy - June 7

Elle which did you decide to go with?



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