Daycare Dillema

8 Replies
Emma - November 4

As some of you may know from my previous post, my husband got sent to prison and all of a sudden my dream of being a SAHM has been shattered for at least a year now. I have 3 more weeks of maternity leave left and I have selected a good day care for my daughter but I'm so worried that she's going to feel like abandoned when I start working again. I feel horrible, but at the same time I don't really have much of a choice. Is she going to feel abandoned, or am I just feeling guilty?? Anyone??


Jamie - November 4

I think you're just feeling guilty. Truth be told, she will probably love the opportunity to play with other kids - and she'll treasure her time with you even more.


klmr - November 4

I personally feel that staying at home with your child is important. HOWEVER, you are doing the best you can, so don't beat yourself up. Just make sure that when you are at home with her she gets your full undivided attention. You will both be OK. =)


d - November 4

It may or may not be hard for your child. It depends on the child. I'm a daycare teacher and from what I have seen is that some children are very attached to moms and have difficulty separating in the morning drop off but they are soon o.k and play with other children. They bond with the teacher who is always there for them. They soon realize that its o.k to be at daycare and that mom at the end will come to get me. There is a routine and children know what is going to happen next . I play, then eat, then sleep and then play and then mom comes. Don't worry. You can bring the child to play for awahile before she enrolls full-time to gradually adjust. Try not to stay with your child while playing because then she'll a__sume you'll always will be there.


Angela W. - November 4

I think it is wonderful that you have gotten to spend a little time with your angel before you take her to daycare. The fact that you feel bad just proves that you are a great mom who loves her baby. I used to work in daycare, in an infant room, and I know that babies especially little babies don't feel abandoned, but they definently know when mommy comes to get them. I feel that the socialization you are going to give your child will help her grow into a well rounded person. DO NOT beat yourself up about it, your daughter is lucky to have a mother who concerns herself about something like this!


Emma - November 5

Thank you all so much for your support and rea__surance. It means a lot to me.


Rachael mommy2lucas - November 5

I did not have to send my son to daycare, different family members take care of him, and I felt so guilty going back to work, I cried for a few days. But I realized that he does not really know I am gone, it hurts me way more than it hurts him. He is happy to see me and gets to bond with other people as well. And I have to work if I am to be ablet to give him a warm house and food, so I look at it that way. It will get easier, even though he is all I think about while at work. Sorry to hear about your situation, I wish you the best. You will do a great job! Your baby will be wonderful having a mom like you!


Jbear - November 5

Don't feel care is supposed to be good for babies. I actually had a pediatrician tell me I needed to put my daughter in day care so she would learn to interact with other kids. I felt guilty because I couldn't (it was a choice between food and car payment, or day care). Also, when they go to day care, they trade germs with other kids, so by the time they're school age they don't get sick as often. I think we're just programmed to feel like whatever we do for our kids isn't enough. Your daughter probably won't remember being in day care, or her daddy being in jail...I don't know about anyone else, but my memories start at about age 2 and a half.


To jbear - November 6

jbear, I see your posts on here all the time and they always make sense to me. Your response was really comforting, thank you. You really don't think she'll remember her daddy being in prison? She'll be almost 16 months when he gets out and I'm really worried about them not being able to form a bond.



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