End Of My Tether

22 Replies
Lissi - October 3

She's 16 days old, and things are getting worse! In the last couple of nights, she's decided that she won't sleep between 11.30pm and 5.30am, unless someone's holding her. Every time she seems to fall into a deep sleep, we try to put her in her moses basket and she imediatly screams the place down. She'll sleep in it just fine throughout the day, just not at night. We've tried swaddling, which also works during the day, but at night she just screams and kicks until the swaddle is loose. She's amazingly strong for such a young baby! We've tried BBK's shushing technique, but she won't listen to it anymore. I was in tears (again!) last night, and hubby was really late for work today. Any other suggestions (aside from getting her adopted) or just some reasurance would be welcome. Thanks.


Kerry - October 3

Have you tried a swing? or a bouncey chair mine girl loved both when she was that young.Hang in there It will get better I promise my girl is now 6 months and I can now say I love being a mom it takes awhile to get things under controll and a feel for eachother . You will do fine.


ekay - October 3

Sometimes if I know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with my daughter (i.e. just ate, just burped, has a clean diaper) I will just let her cry for a bit in her crib. If she's gonna scream while you're holding her, you might as well try to get her to learn some self-calming techniques in her crib. Also, does she have her days and nights mixed up? I lucked out in this department. Try and keep her awake more during the day. After she eats, don't let her go to sleep, try changing her clothes or giving her a bath to wake her up. Then when she is calm, try putting her in her crib to go to sleep. She'll cry for a bit, but eventually she will learn to go to sleep in the crib.


Lissi - October 3

She has a vibrating chair, which sends her off to sleep, but as soon as I try to put her in the crib, she starts to cry. Ekay, my husband said the same thing as you, and he's happy to let her cry, but I just can't stand it. It breaks my heart to hear her. You're probably right though, and she does seem to have her days and nights mixed up. She's sleeping like a little angel now. I think I'll take your advice and bother her for a bit. :)


CEM - October 3

Lissi, babies DO have their days and nights mixed up the first couple of months and there's not much you can do about it, unfortunately. they are generally nocturnal in the womb, and it takes about three months for them to switch around once outside the womb. my son is 3 months now, and has just started sleeping at night and being up during the day. like the rest of us ;-) you can try to stimulate her more in the day, but when it comes down to it, she'll sleep when she needs to. it's also good for her to sleep, as that's when she does most of her growing. hard as it may be! hang in there, it WILL get better.


Lisa*9 - October 3

Lissi: when you are holding her if sheb is asleep in your arms make sure you have a recieving blanket between you and the baby cause if you do put her down she is lying down on something warm from your bodies,sometimes moving a baby from a warm enviroment onto a cold one makes them wake up. Just a thought.


CEM - October 3

i forgot to say, sleep when she sleeps! it will help, trust me!


BBK ® © - October 3

Lissi sorry to hear that. The truth is, there is no easy answer to this. Whenever we think we got Anna on a routine she laspes back to the unstructured routine. (slept fine on Saturday but she was a menace last night)..... it's no wonder there are so many books and methods on this subject alone.. I suggest you read some books and see which one method works for you and your family. I've heard the Ferber method is effective, but we don't have the stomach to let the baby cry it out, even for 2 minutes let alone an hour or more. We'll try the "no cry sleep solution" and see...... BTW the shooshing only works marginally for my daughter too now, but the sound of running water does. I recorded it and put it on a CD then put the CD on repeat.....


Shelly - October 3

Lissi,i have had exactly the same problem with Jesse,and still sometimes he gets in that pattern,he will be 8 weeks tomorrow,sometimes its even funny,he can be sound asleep on me and i can carry him through the whole house without waking him up,when i get in his room (everything still fine) i start very carefully lowering him in his bed (still sleeping) the moment his head hits the matress he is wide awake and starts fussing.One time he was waking up as i was putting him down;and his eyes were looking down at the crib (or ba__sinett or playpin ;- he does it with all three so its not that he doesn't like his crib or rooom) and than he looked at me with an expression of"you know whats going to happen huh?" and sure enough the moment he was laying in there he started crying.Now what i did was finnding my mom to take care of him for one night so i could get some sleeep and basically charge my batteries,the next day i tried to keep him awake as much as possible,i took him for carride,did groceries,went out walking with him etc,then in the evening i kept putting him in his ba__sinet,eventually he gave up and went to sleep. Good luck to you.


ekay - October 3

Has anyone tried reading Babywise? I did it with my 2 older kids and they both were sleeping through the night (10pm-6am) at about 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 months. It is not for the faint of heart though. Sometimes you do have to let them cry it out. But literally, one night, they just don't wake up to feed. One of the strong points of the book besides 'teaching' your infant to sleep, is not to become reliant on a crutch (i.e. letting baby fall asleep on you only for you to stealthily manuevre to the crib, hold your breath, slide your steady hand out from underneath sleeping baby, laying him/her down (while you're still holding your breath) and slowly backing away from the crib....only for once you settle into your cozy bed the screaming commences, or rocking to sleep, or pacifiers) But I tell you what, my parents were more than happy to watch my kids at night than my sisters. It follows even into toddler-hood. Putting them to bed was a breeze.


BBK ® © - October 3

ekay babywise has been ripped apart by the AAP and it's not recommended. You may get the baby to sleep but some parents followed it to the letter and got their babies dehydrated etc. PDF (parent directed feeding) is now considered dangerous.


Lissi - October 3

I finally cracked and used a pacifier tonight. I felt mean trying to trick her, and was sure she would start screaming at me as soon as she realised there was no milk in it, but quite the opposite. We think the poor kid has inherited mommy's brains, because she was quite happy to lie there and suck on a useless piece of rubber. :) Ah well, you can't have brains as well as beauty! She's still not sleeping, but at least she's calm, which is much easier for me to cope with.


Jbear - October 4

I don't have any advice, just sympathy...My daughter's 7 weeks and she's been doing the same thing for about a month. Then, when she settles down for a couple of hours my older daughter wakes up. I've been getting about three hours of sleep a day.


CEM - October 4

don't you love that, Jbear? you FINALLY get one down and the other one gets up. i've got 3, and i swear they plan it out! a triple tag team!


ekay - October 4

I agree BBK. I think it is relatively impossible to feed a child every 3 hours, or what have you. The thing that I mainly focused on was keeping the baby awake after feedings, not the PDF. Now I feel like a dumba__s for recommending something that has been labeled dangerous. I promise I never dehydrated my children! I think it was more of the routine thing, that worked for me.


BBK ® © - October 4

ekay, got it. It's not an easy thing dealing with an infant when they are fussy. We ran in to our neighbors last night who have a two month old and they looked so STRESSED OUT! We tried to give them hope since they are young and looked so out of it.... but we're not in much better shape.... maybe older and more cynical :-)


Narcissus - October 4

Hi Lissi, I never got a chance to congratulate you on your beautiful baby!! Nadya is a gem:) Regarding her problems with sleep, often the sleep issue resolves on its own, no matter what method you choose to get through the nights for the time being. I promise you this will pa__s, and she will be a star sleeper by her second or third month. Aja was unpredicatable with sleep and I started co-sleeping for that reason. I was desperate for some R&R. It is likely that she sleeps well during the day b/c you were active during the day while pregnant (rocking motion in the womb puts baby to sleep) and at night, she was primed to stay awake due to your sleeping and the womb being inactive. This abnormal sleep pattern will fix itself as she realizes she is not in your belly anymore. Hope this helps:)



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