Feeling Guilty-pg113095389918

10 Replies
FF - November 2

I have a beautiful,lively, fun little boy named Brody. He's our first baby. He just turned 3 months and he's amazing! The reason I'm feeling guilty is that even though he's great, I am in desperate need of some time to myself! My husband is never home, I don't have any friends who could help, and my family doesn't live near me. I know I can't hire a stranger to babysit, so what can I do? I'm so burned out! I love him dearly but I'd give my left leg just to take a shower, take a walk, or read a magazine article and drink a cup of coffee uninterupted. He's been with me 24/7 his whole life, and I'm enjoying him SO much, but I'm human too! How do you more experienced mommas deal with needing some realaxation/alone time? I just know that if I could get a few minutes to myself a couple of times a week I'd be refreshed and happy to play with him and take care of him. Does anyone relate? Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks!


Rachael mommy2lucas - November 2

You have no reason to feel guilty. It is healthy for moms to get a break once in a while. I am lucky, I have lots of family around to help me out. I believe it is actually better for both mom and baby if mom gets some alone time to refresh and be a better mommy. Perhaps you can check into mommy support/play groups in your area, and get to know some other moms and then swap baby sitting once a week or so. Even if it is just to take a shower! I live in Ohio, not sure where you are at, but most places do have groups like that. Once a week my mother or mother in law take Lucas so I can get a good nights sleep, or clean or run to the store in peace. I feel so refreshed . I also work, but that is not a break, I wish I was home with him, but family watches him. Sorry, not trying to make you jealous. I love my little man too but he is a very demanding 2 month old that does not sleep well, so I get tired quickly. I wish I knew what else to tell you. I hope something works out for you!


Narcissus - November 2

Can you hire a mother's helper to come in twice a week for a couple hours? After she builds trust w/ you, you could ask her to take him for walks. I don't think it's the same as daycare bc you will be home. I agree, there is no reason to feel guilty. Motherhood is demanding around the clock and it takes some getting used to. You almost have to forget you ever had a life.


Jamie - November 2

I'm in the exact same boat, with no relief in sight...I tried to get my little one enrolled in the hourly care program the military offers, only to find out that my husband and I don't qualify. So, I'm out of luck, unless I can find someone who I trust to babysit.


karine - November 2

its ok, ask a dependable family member to come over at the house and watch him for a couple of hours. so you can go out, shopping or eating or to the movies. it will do you some good, try to have a cell phone on you or call every now and then. it is good for you and baby for you to have time out.


J - November 2

I can totally relate I just had my second son and my hubby is gone all the time. My son is now 2 weeks old and my husband is out of town already. We live in a town where I know about 2 people. My mom lives far away and isn't much help anyway. My husband's mom and sister live near here but my MIL is always working and my SIL just got divorced and has 3 of her own kids. I feel like sometimes I am going mad!!!!!! I have an appt. on Sat. to get my hair done so at least I will get our of the house. Motherhood can sometimes be very lonely. We don't live in the right community and are thinking of moving so that I can meet some women who are in the same boat as I am. I have been told by several people that the key to being a stay at home mom is to meet friends in your same boat.


Lissi - November 2

Don't feel guilty! Babies are such hard work. Everyone needs a break from them now and then. I'm surrounded by helpers, but I still feel like I need a break!


FF - November 2

Thanks for the support, evryone. It would be soooo much easier if I had family nearby. I will be glad when he is just a tiny bit older and can play with some toys while I sit and rest for 5 minutes! Thanks for all the advice, I was really feeling alone the past couple of days!


d - November 3

What is good is to get to know other mothers in your area and help each other. Do you have drop in centres for parents to learn about parenting programs, have children play, learn songs etc.. provided by the government? Its a great place to meet parents who have all kinds of concerns and needs.


Jbear - November 3

You might get your husband to watch the baby now and then. Men pretend they can't take care of a baby, but there's really no reason they can't. Also, when your son starts sleeping longer you may have a little more time to yourself.


Karen - November 3

I know how you feel. Kodi is 2 months and with me all the time. I may have left him about 3 times total so far and not for long. Going to the supermarket or the gas sation is a treat for me :). Hang in there all will be ok nothing to feel guilty about



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