Hand Me Down Question

9 Replies
Jamie - December 21

My SIL is pregnant, due in May, and just found out she's having a girl. Would it be rude of DH and I to NOT give her our newborn girl stuff? We want to keep it all until we're done having kids, so we only have to spend the money once.

 

Rachael mommy2lucas - December 21

I don't think that is rude. What if you have another girl. You would have to buy stuff all over again. Even if you were done having kids, it would still not be your obligation to provide your clothes to them, but something you would do if you wanted to. I am definitely hanging on to my son's clothes til we see what we have next time.

 

Heavenly - December 21

To Jamie, I don't think so. You never know when you will have a nother lil girl. We have some friends that just had a baby girl and I myself could not bare the thought of handing down my lil one's clothes. Hubby wants 10 kids so I know we will end up having another girl sometime.

 

momma - December 21

maybe you can buy her a few new things or just some of them and make sure they know you want it back if this is her first you could throw her a baby shower she should get plenty of newborn stuff there and all sorts of other goodies as well

 

Jamie - December 21

Okay, good to know it's not rude! Momma, it's her 2nd baby, the first is a boy. But, I can't throw her a shower anyway, since I live in Germany and she lives in Virginia. :-)

 

monica - December 21

Its not rude at all....it only makes sense espcially since your daughter is your first. IMO I would want to buy everything new for my first child...maybe your SIL is the same way.

 

lisa - December 21

Jaime, i worry about that sometimes, friends of ours are planning of habing one and im sure would a__sume they coulduse our clothes, but ive spent loads and want to keep them incase we have another girl or ebay them all if we had aboy, youcan ebay really old clothes and washing does create wear, its a ery personal thing, im sure she would understand, mabie tell her you might start trying again soon! or just ell her truth and do what the others here say, Heavenly - 10!!!

 

Tina - December 21

My problem is that my sil and her loser husband have everything paid for by mil (we're talking rent, brand new car, food, utilities, pet bills, clothes, entertainment, - everything!) - my husband and are supposed to think this is ok, because they're both still in college. (what the hell? people go to school and work all the time, and if they're old enough to be married, they can pay their own d__n bills - they're actually older than my husband and me!!) anyways, we just had a baby, and got a ton of cute stuff - really nice stuff, that most of which we bought ourselves. I don't get along with my mil AT ALL (she constantly tells us what bad choices we make....yet we're self sufficient?!!?) Anyways, my anger towards my mil, makes me like sil less, cause she always defends her (she's sweet....but oh she'll stab you in the back) but she keeps making comments about our stuff, and saying, ok, as soon as we start having kids, you have to let me have you old baby stuff!! (they plan on having a slew of kids) We won't need the stuff anymore, because this is going to be our only child....but I hate the thought that it would be one more thing they don't have to take care of themselves. I'm not bragging, but our stuff is d__n nice! All very top of the line, beautifully crafted, and expensive, and the thought of her just getting all of this totally free, especially when we're the ones who will "never amount to anything". I know it's silly and stubborn - but I would really love to donate these things to a women's shelter, or goodwill type shop, and fully plan on it....I just don't know what to say when she puts me on the spot, with her, "as soon as I have kids" comments - which she makes all the time! It's so awkward. Venting, sorry, but it felt good to get it out.

 

Jamie - December 21

I understand how you feel, Tina...that'd get me mad too. My SIL hasn't asked us for anything, and I don't know that she will...I just know that it's the natural a__sumption to make.

 

Jenn - December 21

I am going through that too. My SIL is trying to concieve and I find out what I am having next month. I have a 17 month old son, and I have a box of his newborn stuff, the rest we sold over the summer at a yard sale bc I had miscarried and wasn"t wanting to get pregnant any time soon. But we did, and she said "if you have a girl and I have a boy, you can give me all of your boy things and I can give you my daughters things," I didn't even hest_tate to tell her that the stuff that we didn't sell I am keeping for keepsakes, whether it is a girl or boy, she was a little surprised by that, but I can't beat arounf the bush with her because she doesn't takes hints well, I would just be honest up front so she doesn't a__sume anything.

 

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