Help With Toddler

8 Replies
karine - October 6

ok...ladies i need help with my 22month old toddler. LOL What can i do when he takes 4-5tantrums everyday??? an di mean HUGE ones. he sreams and kicks and trows about anything he can see. His sceams are so loud...iam afraid of what the neighboors think of me? is there anything i can do ease down the tantrum, putting him in his room worked for a bit, but now he kicks the door. and its really loud. i dont know what to do with him anymore ? i feel like a failure


SLM - October 6

Ohhh, that's a tough one. First of all, what exaclty are his tantrums about? Not getting what he wants? Or because he's tired? Anyways, I don't suggest putting a child in their room for a "time out" because that's where all their toys are at anyways and, they should not feel as though their room is a punishment. (do that when they are teens, LOL!!) I think, and other will probably not agree with me, that you need to take control of the situation asap. If you need to do that by giving him a swat (not a hard spanking, or hitting for clairficaction) on his b___t and telling him no. Also, I would find a chair and make him sit down for a few minutes, and you are going to have to be there making him sit there, cause he'll probably try and get down. Toddlers have tantrums, but kicking doors and being destructive needs to be dealt with asap otherwise they will feel that it is okay to continue with that kind of behavior. Also how well is he speaking? If he has a pretty good vocabulary, you may be able to try and get him, once he calms down, to tell you what his issues are...good luck..


N - October 6

Karine, I am in the same position. I don't know what to do anymore. My son is 25 months right now and has the vocabulary of a three year old, so you would THINK I should be able to talk to him, but I can't! He gets so out of control it's like he can't hear me. The more I try to talk with him, and explain things to him, the more he kicks, the louder he screams, and the longer it takes to settle him down. The 'time out' in the corner usually works great with him.. I put him there until he stops screaming, he has two minutes of quiet and then he's fine.. now all of a sudden it only works about a third of the time and the rest of the time he either sits there and screams for an HOUR, sometimes more, or else he just talks to himself and has a grand 'ol time like it doesn't bother him a bit and has even REFUSED to come out when his two minutes of quiet are up.. like he WANTS to be there.. that doesn't make me feel that it is working very well, but i don't know what else to do. Another thing is bedtime.. oh man.. that's turned into some sort of weird game. He sits up there and destroys things sometimes, or else he cries and throws a tantrum. The paint job in this place is horrible and he found out the paint comes off VERY easily, so most of it is gone now. I go up there and check on him, and he pretends he's sleeping!! I thought it was so cute at first, because he made snoring noises, but he quickly realized that's how i knew he was actually awake (he doesn't really snore, his daddy does). Now the only way to know is to go in there and actually get close enough to see how fast he is breathing, and if he is asleep i end up waking him up.. I had tried sitting in there with him until he fell asleep, but it keeps him up longer. We were up until about 1:30am last night, when we started at 10! I didn't even say a word either! i just sat there and that was enough for him. Of course he was up at 8am like usual this morning and has been cranky all morning. I don't know what to do... and I am due in 7 weeks.


MJM - October 6

I would say just let him scream dont react and walk away. Ignore him completely until he stops. My daughter never went through this stage thank god. She is now almost 5. But when I nannied 3 children twin 2 yr old boys and a 5 yr old that is what I did and after a week or 2 there were no more tantrums. They usually do it to get a rise out of you or at least a reaction. But if you can continue to cook, clean or watch tv or whatever you were doing before he started to do his tantrum then it is not working. He is not getting a reaction out of you which he wants because he is mad about whatever. It is very hard and annoying to do this but it does work!!!


N - October 6

MJM, that was working so well for us, but it's not working anymore :( He actually seems to be turning this around on me and ignoring ME when I ask him to do things. Lately he has just been soooo.. defiant and I don't know how to respond. I am at the point I am randomly trying things to find something even slightly effective and I know my lack of consistant discipline is only adding to the problem. I need to figure something out, and the sooner the better!! Karine - I know what you are going through, and I am sorry but I am glad it's not just me. I know changes like having a baby are pretty tough on kids this age, and I have yet to find ANYONE who can give me advice on what do to, they all keep telling me it was just like this.. even my mom.. so maybe there is nothing we can do? Just do what we're doing and hope this is a phase that will wear off? But then there's the question: What if it's not? Man.. i need a vacation right about now....


keekee - October 6

I guess time out won't work. When Avery had fits we use to have him stand in the corner while music was playing to drown out the noice. I know the screaming can be the worst but sometimes its best to ignore the child and let him scream. Kids has tantrums to try to get attention. Try giving him positive attention when he's "good". Say "Mama proud of you" when he's doing what you want. When he's having a fit tell him you're disappointed and walk away. Do he have a favorite toy? Take the toy away when he's being unruly. If you tried all of this talk to your doctor. Ask for some advice and see if their is something else going on with your son. I found out my son were having headaches. So you never know. I hope everything works out for you. Take care Karine


karine - October 7

To:Slm....i have tried Swat....that just makes things worse, so i gave up on it, altough when he takes things he isnt aloud, ill tap his hand, it does work and he redirect somewhere else. But as fore the tantrums, it only makes it worse. He always has tantrums, for things he wants and when i say no to things HE knows he isnt suppose to have. Their is days where....hell go to the movie shelfe..take them all down (when we have about 400movies....its a mess!) so i tell him to put it back, he will..but hell run to the aquarium and put his hands on it, ill say no..hell run to the vcr and ram things inside, and by that time i get mad, and raise my voice, after to long, he will start tantrums, so thinking he may be too tired i put him in his room, and thats is where the hole issue starts (kicking,screaming,throwing...agrrrr) and i have noticed that he is more to be in this behaviour, when he noticed that iam doing house work or meals. But due to having 4kids to babysite , plus my son and daughter, and iam pregnant, i do all the house work when i see the kids are busy playing. And his behaviour is also scraring the other kids. LOL i have tried to have him put in the corner, instead or room, but its even worse, he throws himself on the ground and most of the time gets hurt. Thank god, my daughter got out of that stage, with her it was winning, for no reason, and she would stay quiet when punished, it didnt last long either. She is an angel, and i guess it makes it hard to see my son this way, i just feel like he is unhappy. fortunatly for me bedtime isnt that awful, the kids share a room, we put then to bed between 7-8pm, and theyll play and watch movies for an hour or two, but they stay quiet, we didnt like it that they played, but after trying everything, and punishing them, wich didnt help anything, we decided to let them be, cause eventually they put themselved to bed. but as long as they dont scream and yell. i would love to hear more of parents that are experiencing the same with their toddlers, or more parents with advice, anything would be apreciated and helpful


SLM - October 7

If he has a lot of these tantrums when you are busy doing things like cooking or cleaning, maybe you could give him a job to do or have him help you out. When I was cleaning I used to give my daughter a wet rag and have her wipe down the walls and she felt special that she was helping me and she felt like an "adult". Also maybe while you are cooking, you could have him help out a bit, or just set him up on the counter to watch while you explain what your doing. That may help make him feel more of a part of your everyday chores.


kaine - October 7

i will definitly try that. Thanks for the advice. thank god...he has been good this morning lol...gotta enjoy thoses moments



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?