How Do You Pat Ur Baby

18 Replies
Ciarasmom - March 5

I went to the doctor for my dd 2 month check up and while waiting she got fussy so I tried to calm her by patting her back and shhing her. This did not work so I bf her and patted her back for her to burp. I guess the receptionist told the doctor I was patting her too hard because the doctor mentioned it to me. She than went in to talk about shaking the baby and how it can cause brain damage because the brain in surrounded by fluid and can actually hit the side of the skull. I wasn't pounding on her back, it may have been a little firm but not overly loud and her head was definately not shaking ( she can support it quite well, I pat her sitting up). It was not a light gentle pat though and I think this is what the doctor was wanting me to use. So I was wondering what kind of patting you guys do for burping/calming your LO.


mcatherine - March 5

At two months my son preferred to burp una__sisted - we just sat him up and kind of rubbed his back a little. To comfort him, we have always patted his bottom and kind of bounced him at the same time.


ash2 - March 5

I did the same as mcatherine, but ya know, you dont even have to pat for them to burp. Just sit them upright and it will sooner or later happen. Wow, some people can be so rude ! How is burping a baby the same as shaking one !!?? I would have let them know what i thought about that ! Not saying that you are young, but i was only 21 when my first DS was born and people used to undermine me like that .


Ciarasmom - March 5

I also pat her on the bum and she bounces, which calms her to. But when I do that her head bounces so I'm worried that maybe I should not do this. And when I push her in the stroller over the gravel her head sometimes bounces a lot. I always thought this was ok, but now I'm second guessing myself. Ciara is my first, but I have 2 nieces I've been around since birth so I thought I knew what I was doing. Sometimes she does burp on her own but other times she needs help. I'm just all parnoid that I could give her brain damage (which I thought was caused by violently shaking the baby) by calming/burping her when she seems to like it the way we have been doing it. I know doctors are not always right and go by what works for ur baby, but I just can't get it out of my head that I might be hurting her instead of helping her.


Steph - March 5

Ummmm, how old are you? I'm wondering if the receptionist said something to the doc because she felt you didn't know what you were doing based upon your age? I highly doubt that if you've been around other babies that you'd be burping your daughter hard enough to cause shaken baby syndrome.


Ciarasmom - March 5

I'm 26


Steph - March 5

Well, then I don't know what to say!! :o) google shaken baby syndrome, and I think that will ease your mind that your doing fine by your lo. Sometimes people should mind their business and not aid in freaking out first time moms.


Ciarasmom - March 5

Thanks Steph. I just checked it out am now put my mind to ease. I now can be rest asured that if a fall off a couch or down stairs doesn't cause SBS than my patting on the back or on the bum should not be of any concern. I also would think that if it was hurting her she would continue crying and not stop. Thanks guys for your input.


MellyMel - March 5

Ciara, please don't let them make you feel bad. I also pat my daughter's back firmly when I burp her. My mom is always saying I pat her too hard when she is over and I'm feeding her. LOL. Hey, my son lived and is healthy!! LOL. If I pat her softer, she will not burp for me. You are not hurting her at all, unless you are really smacking her back hard not firmly and her head is shaking back and forth, then of course that is a different story. But if you're burping her like I burp mine, then I'm sure she is fine.


DownbutnotOUT - March 5

I would sit her up on my knee one hand on her chest and I would gentle pat her back but made sure they were close together. Sure enough in no time she was burping up a storm.


Ciarasmom - March 6

thanks mellymel, that definately made me feel better. I told my dh about it last night and he said not to worry about it either.


mamagoose - March 6

If your baby isn't showing any signs of pain or discomfort when you're patting her, I'm sure it isn't too much pressure... I have a book that actually instructs mothers to use the shh-ing and patting method of calming babies down, and it instructs moms to use a pretty firm pat, because the baby concentrates on the patting rather than the crying, and settles down. Just make sure you're patting the upper back, and not down near her kidneys.



DH used to pat dd a lttle too firm for my liking but dd seemed to enjoy it! So I never worried that he was hurting her. The receptionist was probably brown-nosing the doctor by acting like she is attentive and concerned. Patting and shaking your lo is CLEARLY not the same thing, don't let them hurt your feelings.


flower.momma - March 6

My son likes to be "whomped" as we call it. It calms him down right away. For burping, sometimes that works, and sometime I just sit him upright and he lets out a belch. Don't overly paranoid about her head bouncing. I would have been offended by what the dr. said. You are doing fine, I'm sure.


tinkri - March 6

My dh also likes to be firmly patted on the bum. This helps calm him. As for burping his like a firm pat on the back...usually only takes a few seconds.


Smilefull - March 6

I would've been offended too. Accosted even! It's so hard--I don't know about you girls but especially with my first when I was out and about I always felt like everyone was judging me---anything from she wasn't dressed warm enough, to her carseat buckle is too tight. I would've been shattered if my doctored dared to imply that I was hurting my babe. I learned the *smile and nod* technique----and then just carried on knowing that what I did was in the best interest for my lo.


Hi - March 6

I always pat mine firm .Hell I need to hear it to know I'm doing it right.My kids wont burp to those luv taps,lol.And am I mistaken or no,Doesn't dh =dear husband??I read tinkri's post and it kinda caught me off gaurd.Wouldn't really tell someone my dh liked pats on his bum,lmao.Just joking don't get angry at me. :))



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