How To Discipline A Toddler

6 Replies
DDT - August 1

My ds is a huge fan of the word "No" and that was fine I suppose until he started hitting along with it. If he gets frustrated with a toy he he will throw it and come over to me and smack me saying "No!", or if I tell him not to touch something or do something...again he hits me and says "no!" He does this when I am feeding his brother (2 months old) and not interacting with him. He does it at mealtimes when he is boycotting all kinds of food in all forms. He even does it to our dog! Now when he started doing this (about a 1.5 months ago) dh and I both agreed that our reaction would be to say loudly and sternly "Don't hit!" consistently. Sometimes he stops, sometimes he cries & other times he continues to hit. I am unsure how to exactly do time outs with one so young. Where do I put him for the time out? I am also worried that this all stems from his jealously over his little brother because he seems to do it more with me than dh. What other forms of discipline can I use for this behaviour. I don't want to smack him back because in my mind I am telling him not to do something that I have just done.


fefer1 - August 1

hey ddt- how old is your son? I think you have one my dd's age if I remember right -at least close. She's almost 23 months now and we started with time outs a few months ago. It's amazing what they understand at that age! We tell her not to do something, then we ask her if she wants a time out - and count to 3. It only took a couple of times for it to work. Now I just ask her if she wants a time out and she shakes her head no and quickly stops whatever it is she's doing. Sometimes I have to count but as soon as I get to "two" she stops whatever she's doing really fast. :) Sometimes she throws whatever she has in her hand to get it away from her - guilty feelings - h's kind of cute. We put her in her bed for time out because she wont' sit still anywhere. I think the rule for time is one minute for year of age. I set the timer after I put her down. My sister used this method on her kids and it worked great - she got it from some book but I can't remember what it's called. I guess the point is to NOT talk to them when you put them down - you can explain it later. You're supposed to ignore them while in time out. I th ink that the absence of your attention is the actual punishment. Anyways - that's what works for me. Sometimes it feels like all she does is say no and disobey - we have to pick and chose our battles or else she'd be int time out all day. :) Another thing to do is pay more attention to them - because part of their issue is trying to get your attention wether doing good or bad. :) It's hard with a baby in the house - I know!!! :)


preggosauce - August 1

DDT- I completely agree with fefer. I have a 23 month old as well, and we also use time out. We actually started doing time outs when she was just over a year. They really do understand a lot more than you'd think! Like Fefer said though, pick and choose your battles. My daughter, instead of hitting, screams at us when she doesn't get what she wants. We usually give her one warning and if she screams again, she goes into time out. We have her sit against a wall where there aren't any distractions. She actually stays there which is amazing. After the time out (which is two minutes long) we kneel down to make eye contact with her and explain why she is in time out, and then have her say she's sorry and we give her hugs. The time outs have worked wonders....


fefer1 - August 1

wow, you're lucky she stays! :) My little fireball won't sit still for anything!!! :) We also make her give us a hug or a kiss afterwards - and explain the time out to her. We make it short and to the point. I can't hit back either - My parents spanked us, my sister spanks hers on occasion - but to me personally it just tells them that it's ok to hit. I think you have to show them how to behave and hitting back makes it seem confusing. That's MY opinion though. :)


DDT - August 4

Thanks ladies. Time out is in effect starting this week. Does the min start again every time he moves?


DDT - August 4

fefer1: He is 17 months old.


preggosauce - August 5

DDT- When I first started time out with my daughter, she didn't stay in the time out spot. She would get up and walk around. I would get her, sit her down, and explain to her that she was in time out and needed to sit. Luckily, she caught on quickly, that if I place her in that spot she is supposed to stay there until I get her. So, your son will probably do the same in the beginning. I would only place him in time out for one minute. If he gets up, I would calmly place him back in time out and explain to him that he needs to stay there. Since he is 17 months old, I would only place him there for 1 minute. Just keep in mind, the first few times you try this it might be frustrating because he's going to keep getting up. Keep us posted on how it goes!



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