I Can T Believe Her Help Me

16 Replies
April#1 - December 5

I go to a mothers group once a week that is Provincially run. It is a very small group as I am from a small town. The group often end up being my friend, her baby, the lady that works there, my baby and me. The lady that works there was not able to br___tfeed. She has said that her milk was not fit for human consumption. Whatever that means. If ever there is a mom there with questions about br___tfeeding instead of saying, “I don’t know I wasn’t able to br___tfeed.” She suggests formula because that’s all she knows. If I am there I try to give helpful advice. She always comments on the frequency of my nursing and the duration. I did not immunize my son so when the topic of shots came up I said I did some reading and decided it was not a good idea for us. Instead of leaving it at that she states all the reasons why she did and basically says she’s a better mom because she gave her kid the shots. I believe that everyone does what they feel is right for their family and I am not there to fight with her. Last week I was changing my sons diaper and she felt the need to comment on the fact that my son is not circ_mcised. She said it is gross to look at and if she had a son she would circ_mcise him. When she was dating her now husband she told him if he wasn’t circ_mcised to save his money because he would have to have it done if they got married. She went so far as to say my son’s p__s looks like an anteater! I am so p___sed at her! My friend’s son is circ_mcised and he has had his vacs so I feel like if I defend my decisions too vehemently I will offend my friend. I don’t want to do that. However I am beginning to feel like a doormat and if I don’t say something soon I think I am going to explode! Help!


Bonnie - December 5

Tell her to start looking up her info on The American Academy of Pediatrics Web site before she starts making such biased comments. www.aap.org


Rachael mommy2lucas - December 5

Well, if it were me, I would probably tell her where to go and how to get there. But, perhaps you should calmly at first, tell her that she does things her way, you do things your way, and everyone is ent_tled to their own beliefs. But it sounds like she is not one to take small hints, so you will probably decide whether you are just going to ignore her, or really state your opinion to her. Your friend will more than likely understand you are not putting her ways down, just trying to get this nervy, pushy woman off your back. There will always be people who feel their way is best and that anyone who does things differently is wrong. But you do not have to put up with her being so "in your face" when you are not criticizing her for her ways. I think everyone should do what is right for them, regardless. My son takes formula, is circ_msized and gets his immunizations, but I would never dream of acting like I am the better mom because I do what is right for my family. Good luck to you!!


Jamie - December 5

I'd not-so-politely tell her to take a long walk on a short pier. Your parenting choices are yours. I don't agree with you on everything you've said in this post, but it's not my place to tell you that your decisions are wrong. Next time, how about suggesting that if she would like to parent your child, she is free to pay all of your bills, as well


FF - December 5

I say stop going to the group and just get together with your friend and her baby.


Narcissus - December 5

Try this approach. Match her criticism and "interest" in your son tenfold and maybe she will get a dose and shut the h*ll up. Make sure you comment on everything she does. Let us know :)


Dee - December 5

Try talking to the leader of the group about your feelings. I they have experience in group leadership they should be able to make it stop. Changing the subject, asking of the imput of others, or letting her know that the group is designed to be and accepting atmosphere. All ideas are equally considered.


Holli F - December 5

Jaime it's interesting that instead of giving just your advice you also let her know on the sly of course that you disagreed with her parenting choices as well. "but it's not my place to tell that your decisions are wrong" lol You effectively proved rachael's point "There will always be people who feel their way is best and that anyone who does things differently is wrong."


reverse psch. - December 5

she's picking on you , aimlessly without reason . she just feels dominant and needs to express that possibly because she doesn't understand why she is a follower of the almighty guinea pig protocol . Many people feel they are right because they were told what they should be doing even though it may be against their beliefs . Ask her if she really believes everything she dictates to you because she seems to be going on about all those things excessively , and tell her that too.


Amy - December 5

What a horrible ignorant woman. I'd go someplace else with my friend too. Your son is very lucky, he has kept something valuable that too many have taken from them. You could ask her what her interest is in your son's p___s and why she feels the need to carve her s_xual preference into it. It really doesn't matter if she thinks it's gross or not, she isn't the one it's attached to or likely to be his partner when he grows up. I'd just tell her straight that she's being offensive and to b___ton it or you're out of there.


kate - December 5

i agree with ff - leave the group and just get together with your friend. we don't vax either (and it's NOT immunization even if we did) and we b___stfeed. only girls so far, so no need for the circ_mcisions! :) but anyway, now that she knows all this about you, you're probably gonna end up with comments like, it's the flu season and your unvaxed kid will get mine sick, or blah blah blah. it'll get old real fast....sorry about all that. what a pain!


Jbear - December 6

They do kind of look like anteaters...dh calls his "Snuffy," from Sesame Street. I have to hear jokes about how the captain still has his helmet, too....anyhow, just to lighten things up a bit


chelsey - December 6

My Dh refers to them as a Helmet or a Touque. Snuffy?!!!! Lol! I used to have a pet named Mr. Snuffaluff__gus. He was a guinnea pig, not a p___s though.


April#1 - December 6

Yesterday she referred to my boy as, “The anteater,” with a disgusted look on her face. I am glad he is too young to understand. It worries me she might say things like that to or around boys who are old enough to understand. It turns out my friend really didn’t want to circ_mcise her son. He husband did and as she said, she didn’t win that fight. When the lady that’s runs the drop in started to talk both my friend and I corrected all her misinformation in a polite way and for once she was at a loss for words! I printed some info about it off the internet (I doubt she will read it but she might). I will give it to her at the next meeting. I think I will still have to mention to her that I don’t like her nickname for my son and could she not say that because I find it offensive. If she still doesn’t stop I will have to say something to her superior and or stop going. Thanks to everyone that responded I really appreciate all the advice and support. For Jamie – Don’t worry about it. I knew what you meant. Everyone makes different choices in life. Thanks for supporting mine. For Kate - I’ve been going less than two months and her kids gone to the doctors or the hospital for an illness 3 times! My son 0 times!


Jamie - December 6

Thanks April, and I'm glad you were able to resolve the situation!


karine - December 6

what is the point of you going there? i mean your getting put down and you and your friend is almost the only people going. perhaps you should just go out once a week with your friend and your babies to the resto or someplace else???


ally - December 6

You need to say something, if the group has dwindled to that amount of people then find another more positive one, you dont need that c___p and yes she has no right to say what she does just because she does things differently, leave that group and dont put up with it anymore and u will feel better for it but if u do stay speak up.



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?