I Want To Change

16 Replies
ITSABOY - January 24

Hi ladies i am trying to get my life together and since you seem to help me with everything else.I thought i would ask for help with this.I have a wonderful 5 month old son he makes life worth living.I am a happy person but i am not happy with my apperance or surroundings.Most of you know i have been trying to lose weight since i have had my baby and i keep messing up on that i weigh 261 and i want to weigh at the most 150.So that i 1 of my problems then i dont know how you ladies find time to clean bc my seems to be a dump.I clean when i have a chance but tyson is always wanting me to hold him and when i do get a chance i am to tierd to do it so me and hubby order takeout and eat and then i have to sleep when he sleeps so i am overweight,dont have time to clean or am to exausted to clean there is 2 problems and then i have been putting off going to college for years i am about to be 22 on jan 30th and i want to be a nurse so i have got to get started.I guess i am just asking how do you ladies manage to keep a clean house,a good weight,all the other things we have to deal with.I need help with changing my life to be a better person i am a good person inside so i want to be outside.

 

Kara H. - January 24

First, go get a physical. Make sure you are not anemic or have low thyroid. . Both will make you hungery and tired. Ask you doctor for a referral to a nurtritionist or whatever he does for his patents who want to lose weight . Second make a schedule. I set aside four - 30 minute incriments during the day when the TV goes off and I clean for the full 30 minutes. It is amazing what you can get done. I am worthless when I first get up, so I do my three of my 30 minutes while LO is napping and the fourth after he goes to bed. Also I wash laundry all day on Tuesday, then fold it all Wednesday when my favorite shows are on. I do the same thing on Saterday/Sunday (fold during EXM and Desparate housewives). Monday I sort thru the previous weeks mail and pay bill and toss the junk. I wash dishes while Max swings in the kitchen with me. Hubby has taken over washing bottles and making formula when he gets home from work, changes the kitty litter, and gives the fridge a quick cleanout Tuesday night before trash pickup the next day. Friday and Thursay I only do my 30 minute clean after Max goes down since those are my two long days at work. Once you get a schedule and get your house funtioning better, and start losing weight so you feel better, going to college will not seem so overwhelming and you will find the time. Good luck to you!

 

Rabbits07 - January 24

I don't think any of us have got it ALL together....I know I don't anyways. It's great that you want to get things in order, but just remember that if you set your expectations so high that you can't possibly meet them then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You have to prioritize. What is most important to you right now? Focus on that. If it's going back to school then set your focus on that and go for it with all of your heart. Nothing saying you can't work on two goals at once....there's no reason why you can't set a weight loss/healthy eating goal as well as going to school. As far as keeping a clean house and everything else in order I know those are things that we all probably want, but I would take it in baby steps. I personally don't have a spic n span home, but it's clean and tidy and I've learned to accept that. I used to fret over every little bit of clutter and was miserable all the time because I felt like all I did was clean, clean, clean and all everyone else did was mess, mess, mess. Once I learned to relax and accept that I had kids and my house wan't going to be 100% perfect all the time I didn't feel like such a failure. You can do anything you set your mind to...remember that! Good luck!

 

Kara H. - January 24

Also I keep a big wicker basket in the living room to throw all the baby stuff that collects everywhere then every other day or so I clean it out and put all his stuff back in its places.

 

Rabbits07 - January 24

Kara, I think that's wonderful that your dh helps out! If you ever divorce please let me know.....lol...(just kidding!) My dh will cook but that is about the extent of it.

 

Emily - January 24

I must say I feel the smae somtimes. I do have a college education but I am not using it at the moment. I have a hjob close to home that gives me flexibility so I can be close to my girls and do not spend so much time travleing to work. I feel like my house is a mess all the time. First thing is you have to decide to let some things go. The house will be dirty sometimes. That is not to say that you should let it go all the time,,, but some things can wait. Also I know you say you are so tired to do anything. That maybe true but you should also know that alot of that can come from being a bit overweight. You may be tired and it may kick your b___t for the first couple of times, but you should exersize, it will in the end give you more energy. Also get help when you need it. do you have friends or family that has ever said, hey if you need someone to watch the baby for awhile. well take them up on the offer. Ask someone to watch the baby for an hour or maybe two. Then take a walk or pick one room in your hose to clean. Then the next time someone offers, clean a diff room. Also you say you sleep when he does, that is good, but when he first goes down, spend ten minutes picking uop clutter, like putting toys away or putting dry and clean dishes away or gathering laundry or dirty dishes to wash. Don’t spend too much time, just gather laundry and maybe throw a load in or leave it in a basket ot wash later, but do something to help with the clutter nad then take the rest of the time to sleep. Also every night after supper, run the vacc_m and then every night before bed, pick up a little. Do a little at a time and eventually once you get everything picked up, it will not be so hard to keep clean…..10 minutes before bed will get the house picked up and then you can use 10 minutes in the mornign nap to dust before you lay down…..or whatever. Try not to takle everything at one time. Also great exercise you can do with baby, get a baby yoga tape or go for a walk with a stroller…..it may take you a while to get into it, but onve you start exercising you will probably have more energy to clean and or exercise more…Good luck

 

Kara H. - January 24

In the process of an argument a while back he agreed he could give me 30 minutes a day of help on the house. I have held him to it. I get to alott how the time is used. If he slacks off life gets real unpleasant for him.

 

LisaB - January 24

I wash my kitchen floor as needed after ds goes to bed at night then on weekends when dh is home I clean all three bathrooms, dust, vacuum and anything else major that needs to be done. I keep up on laundry thoughout the week so it never piles up. After each meal I let ds play in the kitchen under foot so I can clean up right away. Basically I don't let anything pile up cuz its impossible o catch up. At night after ds goes to bed I clean up all the toys from the day, and make meals ahead for the next day (sometimes) I work full time- so my dh is expexcted to help out during the week- he also does his own laundry. As far as losing weight before I opened our store I worked out everyday for an hour then I would take ds for walks so it wasn't a problem now I had to chose between time with my ds or working out I chose my ds- no contest- however I don't feel as good as I did when I worked out. At the end of the day sometimes I will get the energy to do a workout tape otherwise I do calf raises while I brush my teeth (sonic care 2 minutes a pop) sit ups during play time and park as far a way from everything sa possible to walk when I can. I try to at good during the week then relax on the weekend abit. It is a huge balancing act. I never feel like I'm giving anything 100% buut every day I try my best and thats all I can do. As far as going back to school that would be your job so treat it as you would any other job- give it the time and energy. None of these changes come over night. I am guessing that your weight is also making you more tired my mom is over weight due to a severe back iinjury so she went form having a ton of energy to zero it is hard work to care extra weight I think once you some improvement in your weight it will start getting easier. Definsetly see your doc to rule out a thyroid or any other medical problem your doctor can help recommend weight loss programs and help you there. This is the easiest way for me to lose weight- write down EVERYTHING you eat I mean everything a spoon ful of baby bananas everything then look on line as to how many calories you are eating a day that can stop you dead in your tracks there it always dos for me.

 

Shea - January 24

Well I certainly don't have everything under control, mainly my weight is the problem, and I would say it's because I always put myself last. A lot of why I do some of the things I do is probably for the wrong reasons, but here goes...I have a college education because I felt my family expected it of me, I had to prove them wrong about being married and finishing college, so I killed myself to work full time & go to school full time, but I did it. It sucked and was hard, but it's over now and I am glad I pushed through. I keep my house clean b/c of pride - when my family, in laws, or friends come over and compliment me on how great my house looks, it makes me happy, so I will stay up until midnight mopping the stupid floor if I have to (why can't I apply this to exercise, ugh), but usually now I stay on top of things by spending the 1st 1/2 hr after ds goes to bed straightening up or doing light cleaning and then on the weekend, during ds naps, I go like a tornedo throught the house. I also usually do dishes while ds is still in his high chair after dinner. I drink way too much coffee, and will often skip shaving my legs (gross I know) so I can take 5 min in the am to scrub the bathroom floor, serious OCD I think :) One thing I have learned is to get rid of c___p you don't really need. Most people I know that have messy houses is because they don't throw anything away and really don't have room for all of their stuff. Another thing that I think someone else mentioned is to have a schedule for cleaning, which I used do and is very helpful, and to write down everything you eat. Since I started my diet again I am doing that and keep a spreadsheet of that, and my weight....my OCD again. Good luck!

 

flower.momma - January 24

Hey, it is so hard to get things moving with the first child, but you just have to buck up and do it. I have a 2-year-old and an 8-week-old, and my house is usually quite clean because even though I am exhausted as hell, I clean it because I know that I will be a lot less stressed if I do so. I put the baby down when he is sleeping and sweep, do the dishes and fold the laundry. As for the wieght thing, stop buying take-out. How about buying cans of soup and bags of salad. Both are low in fat and so easy to prepare. I have lost 35 lbs. since the birth of my son (another 10 to go) because we don't buy junk food and we go out maybe once a week. If it isn't in the house, you can't eat it, ya know? I also take a walk every day, rain, shine or snow. I bundle my dd up, put her in her stroller, put my son in a snowsuit, put him in the snugli, wrap a blanket around us, and off we go! He stays warm, my dd has a great time, and I lose weight. It sounds weird, but one of the things I have done is tell myself that I don't have a choice, that I have to do things like exercise, clean house and eat right. That way I will do it no matter what. It is hard to figure out how to make things work with a first child. My house was a wreck until my dd was around 8 months and I figured out how to get things going. As for college, I am 21 and I would also like to get some kind of degree at some point, but I have decided to wait until all of my children are in school so I don't over-exert myself. Don't beat yourself up about it! You are doing the most important job in the world right now, other things can wait. But, as my husband always says, if you want to change, nothing is stopping you.

 

Emily - January 24

oh I wanted to add that I too am a bit over weight. Although I must admit I am smaller now then I was before I got preg with my oldest. when I got preg, I gave up soda, and most sweets. I only gained like six lbs the entire pregnancy and then after I gave birth I droped 66 lbs so I lost a total of 60 lbs. I couldn't fit into my pre preg jeans, not because I was still too big, but because they were too big....and then I got pregnant with Marcy. I sisnt' lose weight the whole time with her like I did with mary (the 6 lbs I gained was in the last two weeks of Marys preg....) but I gained slowly and only gained about ten lbs,. Lost wight after birht, maybe 40 lbs, but of course this is not on top of what lost with my first, i did gain a little of it back but I say I am about 70lbs lighter than I was to begin with, but I am still not small. But I look at it this way. I feel better, and my clothes fit better, although I still have to buy bigger jeans to fit my wide hips and have my mom take in the waist.......I am still bigger, but I feel better about my body. I have a reason for my not so flat tummy,.,,,I have two pretty little girls.....just dont get caught up on what you wnt to weigh and focus on how you feel, do you have more energy and feel less tired...if you get caught up on a number and you dont reach it, it will disapoint you. Just set a small goals.....not eveyone can be tiny, certainly not me......

 

flower.momma - January 24

Here's some other ideas. I always have a bar of at least 75% cocoa chocolate around the house. It is so rich that I cab only eat one square at a time, and it takes care of my sweet-tooth so I am not running to dairy queen in the middle of the afternoon. Plus it is heart-healthy and has mood-boosting properties. Mmmmm. Also, we have about 20 different types of tea at our house. So when I want a treat, I go brew a cup of tea, rather than eating carbs just because I'm bored. Warm tea is also filling if drank before a meal. And get hubby on board. Say "I want to be healthy, please help me by not oredring take-out and bringing junk-food into the house." That is what I did, and he is super-supportive.

 

ash2 - January 24

First of all , you have to prioritize. What is more inportant....your favorite afternoon show , or getting the dishes done. While DS goes to sleep it is the perfect time to do house cleaning, organize , etc...Take that time to also get on the floor and do some floor exercises. Leg lifts, tummy crunches, jumping jacks. You would be suprised at the energy i have once i have dedicated 10 min to improve my health. Being overweight really can put a toll on your insecurity, as well as your personality and who you really are. I have about 30 pounds to lose before i get down to " pre-preg " , so im right there with ya ! But once you get into a habit of making a routine, then you will feel better about yourself. A better person makes a better mom, and wife. Second of all...COOK ! Skip the takeout...that is the worst thing to do when trying to diet. Get some recipes, or go online to allrecpies. com and click on something and try it. I believe you have the will, all you need is dedication. Dr phil has my favorite phrase " You cant fix what you dont acknowledge "...and it is very true. If you dont realize that in order to be a happier person you have to " get organized" , lose weight, and start making your house a home for you and your family by cooking, then you have to start now. ITSABOY, you have to realize something...you are what runs that home. A mother holds the key to a successful family and mother. Ever heard the phrase " The hand that rocks the cradle ,rules the world "? Well, its true. Mothers have a way of making things work. You have to dedicate yourself and MAKE IT HAPPEN. You can do it !

 

ash2 - January 24

Also wnated to add that i dont know about you, but when my house is clean and i am in an orderly routine with the kids ( Breakfast, bath, play, school time, nap, lunch, etc...) then things go alot smoother with me and i am in such a better mood !

 

flower.momma - January 24

Ash2 is right. Also, I find that once the "bones" of the house are clean and maintaine dthat way, all I have to do is sweep, do dishes and clean up clutter. Hubby helps fold laundry. Once you let things get out of hand, they are pretty hard to get back on trach. Once they're there, its cake!

 

vonzo - January 24

I agree with what all of the other ladies have said. I am a bit of a clean freak, bordering OCD so i ALWAYS find time to clean, even if it means carrying my dd about with me to every room, or staying up late. I keep her entertained at the same time by dancing about in front of her and being silly too. Maybe try that with your lo, it burns some calories off too so you'd be killing 2 birds with one stone :o) As for exercise start off small and get yourself into a routine. Exercise gives you more energy believe it or not. Go for a 15 min walk with your son and dh and set a goal for yourself, say i'm going to have gone out for my walk by 6pm at the latest (or whatever time's suitable for you) and you'll probably find you'll want to stick to that more rather than thinking oh i should go out but i cant be bothered. Having a goal and accomplishing that gives you a big boost which makes you more determined to do it again. Or if you hate walking dance around your house like a loony for 15 mins, whatever takes your fancy that gets your pulse racing (ooer ;o) )Then when you've set your wee routine just build on that. After a week of doing a small bit of exercise you'll feel the difference in your mood i promise you!! Don't get overly obsessed with weighing yourself either. Sometimes you may not lose any weight but you might have lost inches. Put your scales away somewhere where you can't see them all the time or can't get to them without it being a pain so you won't be tempted to weigh yourself all the time and just take them out once every 1 or 2 weeks. Like other ladies have said keep a food diary too, this helps alot not only from the point of view that you see what you're eating but also if you're eating healthily but still not losing weight you can take it to your dr and say, what else can i do or improve on. I still have about 30lbs to lose myself so i'm wishing you all the luck in the world, you can definitely do it. just believe in yourself!! :o)

 

ITSABOY - January 29

Ladies you have all helped me so much.How can i ever thankyou!I feel like i have true friends here!I have changed my life i have lose 9 lbs in 1 week.I am weighing one time a week.I am counting calories and keeping my house together that is enough of a workout to begin with.i am going to add to that as soon as i get everything organized in the house.All you ladies are right and have changed and i already love it.Tommorow is my birthday and i am giving myself a life change for my birthday!You are great support thank you!

 

ADD A COMMENT:


You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!


Already a member?
Please login below.





Forgot your password?
Need Help?  
Start A New Discussion