I Yell At My Baby

48 Replies
liz - December 7

I have a six month old son and sometimes I just completely loose my shit. Especially when he's whining or crying or wants to be held 24/7. I've yelled horrable thing at him, "shup-up you brat" or "what the f is wrong with you". And afterward I feel horrable and somtimes even cry about what I've said. But if I feel so bad then why can't I stop. I love my baby more then anything in the world but sometimes I just can't hold in my frustration and anger. Anyone else having this problem...or have suggestion on what I should do to get a grip.


Narcissus - December 7

Do you take time for yourself or are you alone with your son most of the time? Any friends or family near you?


Rachael mommy2lucas - December 7

I get frustrated with my son when he constantly whines and fusses sometimes. I hand him over to my dh and walk away for a few minutes, take a few deep breaths. It is normal to get frustrated from time to time, especially if you have a difficult baby. I always just tell myself that this is his only means of communication, and he is just a baby. Getting a break or just putting him down and taking a breather will make things go a lot better. Babies just get more upset if you are yelling at them, they will just cry more. I love my son more than anything too, but being a mom is tough sometimes, no matter how much you love your child. I recommend having someone come and help sometimes and just taking a few deep breaths when you feel this way and kiss his little head instead of yelling. You'll feel better about the whole thing then too!


baby yells - December 7

yes take time out for yourself . most things I ve read have said one should take a two minute breather to think about it when the anger comes. You are dealing with two issues , one is changing priorities to suit the needs of the child and the other is not providing so much that the childs reliance on you destroys you . Either way the end result is your way not the childs so the shud-up brat thing you don't have to take seriously I think we've all said that at least once to a demanding child .


liz - December 7

I'm home with him all day and it is really hard. I try to hold it in but sometimes I can't and when I do hold it in I get so frustrated I cry. I don't have much family around and my husband work a 8-6 job so by the time he's home the baby is ready for bed. Not exactly much help there. Thanks for you thoughts and support.


Narcissus - December 7

I can understand, although I have never yelled at my son. I am also alone with him from 7:30-6:00 every day and on weekends I finally get a break. Is there any way you can join a mother's group to make friends and gather support, or engage your son in some active play, like at a play gym? It may wear him out so he will take long naps to give you some "me" time. The mundaness of being home all day can take a toll on babies as well as the mom.


Shannon - December 7

if i were you i'd put him in a playpen or crib and go in other room and yell at something, anything, out there. that way you're not yelling directly at him. maybe play a relaxing or angry song, whichever helps you b__w off steam better. i understand about the dh not being there sometimes. i told mine the other day that sometimes i feel like a single mother so that it's his duty to relieve me when he gets home. i agree with the other suggestions of "me" time. so whatever it takes to get this once in a while, even take him to a daycare for an hour or two.


Lissi - December 7

I had a moment with my baby today, because she was being a pain in the b___t. She wouldn't stop crying, no matter what I tried to do for her, and I lost my patience with her. Instead of shouting at her, I laid her on her changing mat and let her cry for 5 minutes. I used the time to write an email to DH at work, to tell him how frustrated I was. It felt good to get it off my chest, and after 5 minutes of deep breaths, I was able to pick my daughter up, and deal with her again, without losing my temper. It's the best thing to do. Just put the baby somewhere safe and give yourself some time out, for a few minutes.


Jamie - December 7

Liz, I'm in a very similar situation; I'm home alone with my baby most of the time - my husband is gone from 5:30 a.m. until around 6 p.m. He leaves before the baby wakes up, and she's only up for maybe an hour and a half to two hours after he gets home. I don't have any family or friends near me. It gets really really really hard to keep your cool. What I do is, every Sunday, I leave, and leave the baby with my husband. It doesn't matter where I go or what I do - I'm alone, and I don't have a baby demanding my attention. Also, one Saturday a month, my husband and I get on of his co-workers to babysit, and we spend the day together, without the baby. It works for me, getting an hour a week and a day a month - but find your own balance; whatever helps you maintain your own sanity.


HEATHER - December 7

I am also home from 5am to 6:30 with my daughter, sure it can be fusturating at some times- but sorry to say this but how could you even yell at such a sweet, helpless, dependant totally on you for all needs baby. What are you going to do when your son gets older and learns how to push your b___tons? Try not to let your fustration go to anger, I look at it if my baby is crying she is trying to tell me something. and she never crys long before I know wht to do-oh, she is only 3 months.. Maybe you need to learn to communicate with your son better.


Mel...to Heather - December 7

Heather, it sounds like you are a great mom. However, it also sounds like you do not have a high needs baby. Some babies are harder to deal with than others. Liz clearly understands that it is not okay to yell at her baby and she wrote this post so that she could learn to deal with her frustration in other ways. Try and be a little more understanding.


Mel - December 7

Liz, you are not alone. There have been many times that I get frustrated with my son's demanding cry. Especially when I am run down and exhausted. What I have had to recently do and it seems to help. Is to go back to napping when he does, just like when he was a newborn. He takes 3 naps a day, I take one or two now depending on how rested I feel. I haven't been getting a lot done around the house, but I have felt a lot better. When your baby is crying just remember that many mothers are going through the same thing. All he knows right now is how to cry and as he gets older it will get easier on you. Just take a few deep breaths and tell yourself how much you love your baby. This is what I do and it seems to help my frustration. I am glad you posted here, I hope you find the help that you are looking for. Good luck!


karen - December 7

Heather...wait a few months and see what happens then. Do you stay home with your kid all day? Well if you don't then you don't know what it's like to be there all the time at someone elses beck and call. I love my daughter with all my heart but sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs cause it's so hard. Liz everything you wrote above is perfectly normal to feel and do...nobody said being a parent was easy but don't let women like heather make you feel like less of a mother because you are having some problems.


liz - December 7

To most of you: thanks so much for your understanding...I really want to solve this problem. I wish I had more help available because I would love to take more time for my self. I do find walking away help sometimes but still there are others when I reach a point of no return...and it makes me sad about my ability to deal with my child.


jenny - December 7

I amd going thru a similar situation as we speak. MY baby has just been off the wall for the last three days and I'm at my wits end. I 2 have yell at her alittle but like you said I feel horrable after. Hang in there and take you time to yourself on the weekends or hire a sitter to come over once a week and help you out.


FF - December 7

It's ok to get overwhelmed, liz. You're human, you know? We all get frustrated. In my house, it's my husband who's the difficult one- I'm alone with the baby all day, and when he gets home he either won't do anything to help or he leaves right away and stays gone for 6 or 7 hours. It's hard. I've noticed that when I'm mad at my husband, my son picks up on my bad vibes and gets upset. If you can just take 5 minutes for yourself and calm down you'll feel a lot better. Best wishes.


Liz - December 7

FF- if your husband was my husband I would have killed him by now. BUt my husband is not that much better. He sticks around and helps out but he b___hes about it the whole time and it drives me nuts



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