Just Need Some Encouragment

7 Replies
Ameyas mom - May 19

my fiancee just left me and my 3 month old dd. I found out so much stuff, like he was drinking alot I found his stash. And he was doing cocaine and going to the strippers all the time and became mentally abusive!! I know it's better but I just need to talk about it. Has anyone else been through this? How did you deal with it? I feel like I don't even know him anymore, he was such a good guy before I got pregnant. He was the one who really wanted to start a family. Atleast I have the best part of him now and I love her so much.


HannahBaby - May 19

you are lucky that he is leaving you...there are people out there who are stuck in bad relationships and see no way out. You are way better off without him (and i RARELY ever say that as i believe every baby should have a mom and dad) but he should be supporting you and your baby, not putting it up his nose and in other womens g-strings. Good luck with your little girl and you will find someone who will love and take care of you two.


JEN - May 19

I agree with HannahBaby that every baby should have a mom and dad, but in your case you will have to be extra strong and be both. It sounds like there was a lot going on tht you did not know about, and at least you now have the best part of him as you said. I don't personally know you, but I can say with confidence that you absolutely deserve more than a fiance that drinks, does drugs and mentally abuses you. I know that you will rise up and be the most wonderful mother- best wishes to you and your lil girl!!!!!


SonyaM - May 19

I have not been through this but I am sending you a BIG hug and lots of prayers. I would try to find a counselor to talk with to help you cope. This is a big adjustment and it will be hard but you can do it. Do you have family around to help? Good luck and God Bless.


lullabelle - May 20

Ameyas mom, my heart aches for you. But I truly feel you are going through all of this for some reason unknown to us/you at this time. Reach down real deep, you are strong. Do you really know how many "fish in the sea" that would love to know you and your dd. I believe in you. Have confidence! Jesus loves you and the bible tells us to fear no man and no situation. I love you and you and your family are in my prayer chain. Be strong, leave him alone. you were blessed with the most beautiful gift!


hello - May 20

I have been through this so i am going to reply and tell you that you will be ok. My ex left when my baby was 4 months old... I feel for you as i was a mess who didnt want to get out of bed but had too.. I had a wonderful 4 yrs with my partner but one night he just said thats it and off he went..... He now has a girlfriend and i think she was the reason he left to be honest as she was upon the scene way too quick.. For many months he would come here and be rather cold and make me even more sad as he seemed to be heartless, his emotions were with his new woman.... Its been 7 months and around 1 month ago he told me he regrets it. He comes to see us now and will clean the fridge, microwave... kiss me goodbye as he leaves, tells me he misses me, tells me he is not happy, is on anti depressants etc etc yet the whole time still has a girlfriend... my comfort comes knowing he regrets it but the damage is done, theres been lots done..Please know that it does hurt, it hurts like hell, u are losing your best friend at a time in your life you need them so very much... You will struggle, you will cry but most of all the pain does ease, it still hasnt gone for me but it has subsided a great deal... I encourage you to see a counselor as i didnt and i still want too. I thought i could do it on my own but there is alot i need to talk to someone about.... Turn to family and friends, i couldnt have survived without them... Sleep when baby sleeps, get lots of breaks, family and friends to babysit.. Your baby will keep you strong, i couldnt have survived without her, the sad thing is i do think he would still be her if we didnt have a baby. My health nurse said to me many many couples break up after a baby comes, thats pretty tragic....i am sorry this happened to you.... its hard to be left with a baby... i remember vividly how i felt and i feel for you... Please remember it will heal, i am not gonna say it goes, i am yet to find out but i hope it does but it definitely does subside in time as hard as that is to believe... Take care and when i feel bad or if im having a relapse moment i hug my daughter and i know i wouldnt have changed any of that pain because i have her.... take care ok and know u arent alone...........


Rabbits07 - May 20

Everyone else is right, it is a blessing in disguise that he is gone. A drug addict and drunkard is certainly not the role model that you want around for your daughter. And if he had became mentally abusive it is certainly better for you that he is gone. I know it must be hard for you right now. Obviously you loved him very much to have decided to have children with him and it's awful that he turned into what he did. The pain of what he did will ease in time....in the meantime, like you said, you have the best part of him. I wish you all the luck with your baby and say a prayer for both of you.


Shea - May 20

I am so sorry that this had to happen to you, but maybe he left because on some level he knows that it is the best thing he could do for you and your daughter. When someone is addicted to something, they feel powerless to stop. His behavior sounds like he is out of control - and he probably knows that - but feels like he can't stop. Leaving you and your dd is better than dragging you both down with him, is probably how he is thinking about this. I pray for you and your dd, and that he will seek help for his problems. Maybe it would help you to find a group like Al-Anon, that is for the families of alcoholics, so you can talk with other people that have been there and can give you support in ways that family and friends can't.



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