My Heart Is Breaking Please Give Me Advice

13 Replies
ssmith - February 23

I will try to keep this from getting too confusing~~bear with me if this is long and hard to follow! My mat. leave is up the beginning of April. My job is waiting for me at a daycare centre. I have also just finished Teacher's College and hope to begin a new career as a Teacher, part - time in the Fall. I just got a call from my daycare centre, telling me that a part time spot has opened up for my dd mid- March. I REALLY do not want to go back to work full time, but if I return to my daycare job I will have to work full time because the pay is pretty low. There will also be daycare fees, which will cost about $150 a week. DH & I might qualify for a bit of subsidy, but I cannot guarantee that. We also only have 1 car, which DH is currently using. He will have to start taking the bus to work if I return to work, and he starts work at 7am. I wasn't expecting a space to be available for my dd at the daycare because of the long waiting list. So, I came up with a plan "b" to get a part - time job waitressing during the evening. That way, we wouldn't have to pay for daycare, wouldn't need to worry about getting a second car, which we can't afford ~~ and MOST importantly ~~ I could stay home with dd during the day. However, if I DO return to my daycare job, that would be steady income for me.....dd would be in the same building as me, and she would have a secure spot at the daycare for when I hope to start Teaching in the Fall. ARGH! I have been crying all evening at the thought of all of this. I don't know what to do, I feel so torn. I cannot stand the thought of only seeing dd for a couple of hours in the evenings, if I return to the daycare. It will also break my heart to know that I am working to look after OTHER people's children, while other people are looking after MY child. I want to be the one looking after my child. However, there is no way of knowing if another spot will open up for my dd in the fall if I turn this one down. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?? Is it better to have a secure income (even though my income would be low), put dd in daycare and only see her maybe 2 hrs a day, force dh to take the bus to work. OR, is it better to take a chance on getting an evening waitress job, have days at home with dd, save the child care fees, and hope that another space opens up at the daycare in the Fall for my dd? Please help me ladies. What would you do if you were me.....?????


mommyke - February 23

If I were you, I would take my chances that there will be an opening this summer or fall for your dd and take a waitressing job.


AshleyB - February 23

Me too, I would do the waitressing thing definatly!! I was a waitress before I got pregnant and you can make great money for half the hours as a normal job. It's definalty worth it while your kids are young I'd say. You can't get that time back. Good luck with your decision.


lexa - February 23

My way of thinking is, enjoy what you have while you can. Think, if something happens to me today and this would be my last day here, how do I want to spend it. With that said, I would take my chances and enjoy my time with dd and hope something comes in the fall. Everything works for a reason. Life is full of risks. Either way, you may end up wondering if the choice you made is the right one no matter which choice you decide on. You stated about taking care of other children while someone else takes care of yours. Follow your heart on this one! If it is breaking that much, it's not worth it. Would there perhaps be another daycare faciltiy you could have as a backup just in case? I wish you luck in your decision!


melissa g. - February 23

i would do the waitressing -- more important to spend the time with your dd if at all posiible -- you'll find another place for her at a later date!


Topaz - February 24

I would definitely take a waitressing job to spend more time with dd. She is only this young once. Then just take your chances that she will get into the daycare in the fall. Things will fall into place later on.


jb - February 24

It sounds to me like you answered your own question! Do what your heart tells you to do. It seems like it is telling you to stay home. If you can afford it financially (even if it is tight) then it is worth it. Your dd is young only once!


piratesmermaid - February 24

Gotta agree with the other ladies. If you took the daycare job, how much would you regret it?? Would it be worth it? I know I might have to get a job soon, and I really don't want to. I don't want to miss Gretchen's growing up, and I know that I really wouldn't, but after being with her day in day out for so long, I would miss that so much.


mindymay - February 24

i dont know about the waitressing job, if you work nights, you would need to sleep during the day, or possibly part of the day, or jus tgo with no sleep. if you worked nights you wouldnt see your daughter then, and if you slept during the day, you wouldnt get to see her much either, or you could just be overly tired all the time until the fall job possibly starts,... i dont know what i would do, but i will pray that god guides you to the right decision.


Lalla - February 24

I agree with the other ladies and would do the waitressing job - I don't know how old you dd is, but if she is under a year, I would probably do the waitressing job for a whole other year and then do teaching. You can catch up on your sleep when your dd is napping during the day - what a wonderful way to spend the day, do your chores and play with dd and nap with her - I am jelous! I am taking my dd with me to look after other children, that way I get to spend all the time with my dd and she has play mates! That is also something you could consider. good luck to you.


LollyM - February 24

I would do waitressing too. Your dd is only little once and If you want to be with her that bad during the day, you will really regret it if you don't! Hell, I wish I could get a part time job! but then I would never see dh again since he works so much and we have no family who could watch dd during the day.


Kara H. - February 24

I would call around this weekend and see if you can find a place taking applications for evening waitress position. If you find that there are those positions available, I would go that route. But if can't find any place hiring, you may need to re-evaluate the day care position. I think the waitressing sounds like a much better option, but if you give up the daycare job and can't find a waitress job, you may have some regret.


sahmof3 - February 24

I'd do the waitressing, too, but I'd do like Kara suggested so that you know you have something lined up! I work nights on cleaning jobs and I like it because I can still be home all day. It's not too bad for me sleepwise, though, because I don't have kids that get up at night anymore, so when I get home I know I will get some sleep!


shelly - February 24

id second the other ladies and do the waitressing,at least then no bother with worrying about transport ,day care feesand you woulkd the days with dd while shes young,something will turn up daycare wises by the time the fall comes,good luckx



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