My Mother Thinks This Is Her Baby

9 Replies
gurinsa - September 24

My mom watches my 12 week old 3 (half) days a week. The baby is with a nanny in our home the other times. The problem is that my mom thinks that this is her baby. She has been driving her all around town, meeting her friends for lunch, showing off the baby to everyone, shopping, and taking my daughter back and forth from our house to hers (don't even get me started that she did not have the car seat inspected until AFTER she had driven the baby around..) and it was totally loose in her car..she will not listen to me when I try to explain the certain ways that I want things done (napping at 10 and 2 IN HER CRIB - not sleeping on my mother), feeding 4 -5 oz at a time - not 1 ounce every hour), washing clothing and toys before use (not using items purchased at a garage sale without cleaning). On top of that, her house is a disaster and would probably be condemned if the health department went in there (with a parrot who is dirty and, I'm sure, full of germs)..The problem is that we don't have to pay for childcare..AHHH is anyone else having this problem???


Krissy25 - September 24

Some of the things you mentioned sound like a real safety hazard, like her home, the car seat, naps in her bed with her. You need to consider your childs safety and if she can't go by your rules you should really consider someone else watching your lo. I know she is free and that probably helps you a lot but if you continue to use her it's just going to drive you crazy and comprimise the health and safety of your child.


slackette - September 24

I agree with Krissy about the safely hazzard things. Those things need to be addressed immediately just for your LOs safety. But the other things sound like Grandma things. I have seen it with both sets of mothers and I just take it with a grain of salt. They say Grandmas love your LOs more than their own children so I just try and deal with the little things they do, because as long as my little guy is getting love, he will end up just fine. But defintely deal with the safety things!!


aliciavr6 - September 24

Yes, kinda, however its my bf's mother and she lives over an hour away. Her health isnt compromised, however I know how you feel about them thinking it's their child. She drives her everywhere, to relatives houses, etc. She got her this weekend and i had to call and check in or else I wouldn't even know where my baby was at! The first time I called, her other son took her to a picnic?! THEN she said she was taking her to the beach sunday... didn't ask, told me. btw, the beach is about a 3 hour drive............... Ugh. Shows up here Sunday night bawling because the baby was crying in the backseat and I guess she couldn't handle that. Drives me nuts. Then everytime my baby comes home from there, she's in a horrible mood and very fussy. Sorry to hijack your thread to complain haha. I'm sorry I can't be more of help.


pregnant76 - September 24

Gurinsa, my MIL has watched my baby but will soon start taking care of her daily as I go back to work on Thursday. Aside from the safety issues, I have sort of the same type of issues. They bother me and sometimes annoy me alot but I have come to realize that I am actually quite lucky that she is taking care of her! Otherwise, she could be laying there in a crib at a daycare center crying and crying and not getting the personal attention that she needs (well, at least this is what I imagine). I also think that when I do get annoyed its only b/c I'm secretly upset that I'm not with my baby. PS---my MIL does that annoying feeding 1 oz an hour thing too! It drives me nuts!!


tibby - September 27

well my husbands mother thinks she suppose to raise my baby. my baby just turned 7wk. when she was a week old she wanted to keep her over night. im i mean or is she just crazy. my dh has 3 sisters 2 of which have children and his mother raised them all. i dont feel thats her job, my baby i will raise her the way i wan to. one day i had to go out and get the baby some med at the phar. my neice stayed at the house t watch the baby dh was there also. my neice called me saying my dh mother just showed up saying she came to get the baby. which my dh told her no. she just is not going to follow my rules what should i do?


aliciavr6 - September 28

tibby, i'd be angry too and would definitely tell her no. one week after she was born she wanted to keep her overnight? that is ridiculous.


wailing - September 29

Oh god. Do i understand what u mean. My in-laws keep asking me to let the bb spend the nite (he's barely 15wks). It's so annoying to me. Are they insane. I just got him to sleep thru the nite and take naps in his own crib, why would I want to haul him off somewhere else to sleep? And, when they babysit, they insist on taking him to their house. Why can't they stay here where he is comfortable? I think love for the babies cuteness has these people going crazy and they can't think straight.


jen327 - September 29

I agree with Krissy and Slackette. The safety issues need to be addressed, but she is grandma and that is what grandma's do. She is not really a "Nanny" and you can't expect her to stay at home and "babysit". My mom takes our son and does the same things. She is a proud gramdma. Infact my brother and his wife won't let her drive their son anywhere and are very "eagle eyed" when she has him. And she really feels uncomfortable when she watches him because of that, and I am sure he knows it. They are critical of the way she does things because she is not "strict" enough etc. And she is grandma. It is not her job to raise them just to love them. My mom always spoils my kids and buys them things and trust me her house is a disaster and probably would be unsafe, but she is always watching the kids and no it is not nearly as clean as my house, but my son is 12 and he has lived! But I also have her over to my house more.


Cojeom - October 2

If this was my mother, I would tell her, that as much as I appreciate her love & attention she is giving her grandbaby, if she can't start watching the baby in YOUR home, then you'll have to have the nanny pick up more hours. Your home is clearly the safer choice, no more field trips! As far as the way she handles her, she is doing what she did with you, and you turned out to be a very smart, independent woman, so try and not let it bother you. My mother & my MIL aggravate the c___p out of me because they both struggle to take control of situations, unless I am firm there is always a disagreement. So I lay the rules down first (health, safe, etc of my son) and then ignore whatever else they do that annoy me. Hope this helps?



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