NEED ADVICE Anxious New Mom

12 Replies
Susanna - June 21

My son is almost a month old. He is a good baby, not too fussy. The problem is me. I am always sad, not necessarily depressed, because I am a stay at home mom that doesn't feel like she is a good mom. I am so tired and can't get sleep, because every noise my baby makes wakes me up. It is making me very anxious and scared that I am not going to be able to make it these first few months. I feel trapped, because my doctor has recommended that the baby not go to malls or restaurants for two months. I love my baby and would not want want my life to be different, just having a hard time adjusting. I am also still recovering from a c-section on May 27, 2005 and still have a bad case of carpal tunnel syndrome. Any advice would be appreciated. P.S. I have had help with the baby, mom, mom-in-law, and sister, but this is the second week on my own and am scared to death.


JenniferB - June 21

I had a csection with my son and was home for the first time in 15 years. It is such an adjustment and feeling inadequate is normal. I questioned everything I did and if I screwed up a little I was my biggest critic. I was exhausted and cried over everything. Ya know what? He is 20 months now and I have a blast with him and I know for a fact that I am a good mom. You are too, you just don't know it yet. If you were a bad mom you wouldn't be worried about being a good mom. :0) Just rest as much as you can and accept help from everyone willing to give it. Take care.


Toya - June 21

I am glad that you posted this...with all of the excitement and happy feelings of having a baby there are also times when you feel not so happy and not so excited...I know what has helped with me is my b___st pump...I b___stfeed and 3 weeks ago I pumped enough milk to leave the house for 5 hours..I went to the mall, got a Lancome make-over, bought some new clothes and came back feeling like a changed woman. :) Walking for 45 minutes a day by yourself is also a good thing...I believe you are a good mother...because like Jennifer said if you weren't you wouldn't be posting here. My daughter is 6 weeks 2 days old and now that she is smiling and laughing it really helps...because every time I see my child smiles it's like she's saying, "Thanks mom."


Toya - June 21

Oh yeah...and Susanna...another thing that helps is don't try to do everything at once...Give your body time to'll gradually feel like your old self again. Just remember, the more you take care of yourself, the more you can take care of your baby and your baby will thank you for it.


E - June 21

Susanna, why can't your baby go to the mall for the first two months? My baby went in his second week. Can you get a second opinion about that. I too was lonely and found it helpful to go for walks in the mall, where I could be around people.


Jbear - June 21

I was in exactly the same situation after my daughter was born. It's hard to make the switch from work, where you know exactly what to do, and where you have other adults to talk to, to staying home with a newborn. It does get to be more fun...I remember my daughter laughing at 6 weeks and that was the first time I actually felt good about being home with her. It's also hard to get over having an unplanned c-section, because you feel like you did something wrong by not having a v____al birth (at least I did). It took me a while to quit feeling bad about it. It's strange that the pediatrician doesn't want you to take your son to stores or restaurants. There's probably more germs in the pediatrician's waiting room than there are in a store. When I was first home with my daughter, I took her out for walks in the stroller almost every day. I think it was good for me to have a reason to get dressed and get out of the house. I also started sewing doll clothes...that's how bored I was during the time my daughter was asleep. I would have cooked wonderful things instead, but I was too broke.


JenniferB - June 21

Jbear, sewing was a good idea. I would rather see the wonderful things that I made on a doll instead of seeing all of the baking that I did on my b___t, hips, the list goes


Lisa - June 21

The first 8 weeks seems really difficult as you are adjusting to your baby and he is adjusting to his new world. All these symptoms are quite normal and beleive me, the time goes by very quickly. It will get better! Its good that you have some support, take advantage of it if its offered, you need time to heal and recouperate from the birth. Personally, i wouldn't pay too much attention to what the doctor says unless there is a medical reason why you can't take your baby out in public, took my baby shopping within the first couple of weeks...i had no choice!! Hang in are a great will get through the first couple of months and things will start to get a little bit easier.


Liz - June 21

Susanna, everything that your feeling is simply part of being a new mom and having a new baby. In the first few weeks to months everything is kind of crazy before you slowly realize that you and your baby are getting into somewhat of a routine. Even though you may not feel this way right now, it will get better, so will the sleeping. I don't think I slept at all either in the beginning because I was always focused on my baby sleeping. Now 2.5 months later it's a lot better-althought you might really never sleep like before until they're grown :) Also I'm not sure why your doc told you not to go out. I don't mean to disrespect anyone but he's crazy! GO OUT, go for a stroll, go to the mall, it's OK that's what mommy's do. You mentioned you have some help, that's always good, if possible take some time to yourself to sleep or shop or whatever. You're still recovering and don't forget that our hormones also cont to cause a lot of caos which doesn't help. in other words: you're not alone and you're doing everything right and you're a great mom!! :)


angela - June 24

hi susana i had a baby on april 21 and i had a c-section i know excatly how you feel my baby is not fuzzy at all only when she's hungry. i had a hard time adjusting and i was a little sad also because my life changed completly and i was having a hard time taking care of her because of my c-section i was hurting until a month ago. dont worry you will feel better soon i did my baby is two months now and she's sleeping more and about the noises you will learn to sleep thru them i was just like you i used to wake up for every little noise but now i know that she's fine so i try for it not to bother me. hope this helps


Tahlia's Mama - June 26

Susanna, I agree that you should get out of the house if you're up to it. I take my baby out almost every day since she was a week old. And trust me, the sleeping gets better, especially if you start a routine. Good luck xxx


Jbear - June 26

Susanna, how are you feeling now? Post and let us know.


kEEKEE - June 27

It sound like you have baby blues. Which is normally after having a baby. Make sure you sleep when the baby sleeps. Let someone else do the cleaning and cooking. Do your insurance pay for a nurse to come in?? Check and see. I had a nurse come for a month. The nurse helped me care for my newborn. She also would check my c-section womb and helped me get pa__s the baby blues. I had days when i would cry and feel lonely. I felt like a bad mother because I could barely move at first. It was hard. I also have a older son who need special care. I learned to take your time. Go outside on the porch. Talk to some neighbors and enjoy fresh air. I couldn't take my baby to the mall or in large crowds because he was born at 32 weeks. It was best.........Maybe you should call family and friends to come visit you. Think about a nurse. Let us know how you doing.



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