Not In A Good Place Right Now

13 Replies
ssmith - March 2

This is part vent ~~ part need for support. As many of you have probably read, DD & I are struggling with meal times lately. She doesn't want to be fed, and I am really worried about her losing weight and not getting enough vitamins / protein / fat etc in her diet. Well, breakfast was a screaming, spitting battle. All she ate was maybe a few spoonfuls of baby cereal. That's it! I got so frustrated, I wiped her off and took out of the highchair. Now, I am feeling such anger & contempt towards her. I am sure that I am not really angry with her, but just stressed out over a lot of things that are going on in my life right now. Our food battles are the icing on the c__p-cake....and I am feeling the anger and frustration towards her. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I am scared because I really want to go out and take some space from her, but I am alone and there isn't anyone to look after her. I would never hurt or or anything, but I am just not in a loving place right now, and that isn't fair to her. This has never happened before, and I am scared. I have a history of depression, and am not sure if that has something to do with it. I am feeling SO guilty and horrible, I just want to scream. I am embarassed to even post this, but I don't know what else to do right now.


Mellissa - March 2

I had the same thing happen to me when I was trying to potty train Rylee and dh was in Iraq. I was so stressed over him being gone, and other things going on... that I would literally beak down when she had an accident. I never punished her, or anything.. but I did put her in her room for a few minutes, go lay in my bed and cry my eyes out. Maybe you could put you dd in her crib and sit by yourself for a little while to calm down. i'm sorry I'm not too familiar with your feeding issue, but I'll read your other post about it. I just want you to know you're not alone, a lot of mothers at one point or another feel like you are feeling now.


sahmof3 - March 2

It's totally normal to have those feelings at stressful times! Maybe you could just b___stfeed her for a few days and try again with solids later... give yourself a break from the whole situation for a few days. I've known some people who don't give any solids whatsoever until after a year, so I'm thinking that a few days of exclusive bfing should be ok for her (weight-wise). I hope it gets better for you. My oldest son HATED food as a baby... it would take 45 very frustrating minutes for each meal... and meal was only a stage 1 sized baby food jar!!! I remember just crying at each meal time and feeling like, "Why can't he just do this like everyone else's kids?!!!"


mandyrenfro - March 2

its okay to get frustrated! sometimes when my little one doesnt want to eat, i take him out of the high chair, set him on the couch, hand him a book, and feed him there. I dont know how old you lo is but, even just putting his food in a bowl on the coffee table and letting him graze gets the job done, or you can hand her a cracker and sneak spoonfuls in between her bites of cracker- those are just some tips that i "trick" my little one into eating


LisaB - March 2

I posted on your other thread also but will here too. Its ok to get frustrated with meal times they are tough but its ok to give up the worry over her not getting her nutrional needs met. You are still doing formula or bm so shes getting all she needs. At 10 months food is offered to explore tastes,textures an to have fun with it is a SUPPLEMENT to bm or for. SO let all the anxiety about it go she will take to solids eventually the more you push the more she will resist. Keep offering it and expect her to turn it down its completely normal I think more kids refuse the solids than take to them. You just always here about the good experiences not the bad. Relax and it will all come together. Promise!!!


bradylove - March 2

I totally understand you! My first hated food and each meal was a struggle. I used to feel like "why wont you eat, can't you see I'm just trying to take care of you and you just don't care!" Even though I knew that he was much too little to reason that way, in my heart I felt like he was doing it spitefully. He was never a good eater, like sahmof3 it would take forever for him to eat and he would never finish ANYTHING. I would see my friends with their babies who ate and ate and ate and I never understood why mine wouldn't! It took a lot for me to just let it go and that once he was ready he would eat more. He has since then gone in spurts where he eats like a madman and then there are days where he just sits there and plays with his food, so I just let him. When he's hungry he eats! We've never had any issues with his weight either. Now with my second lo, he's the complete opposite, he eats all the time and finishes everything and always wants more! What a difference in the wallet too! Hang in there! I can't tell you not to worry because you probably will anyhow... lol, but just know that it's ok for you to feel that way and that your lo probably wont be harmed by not eating so well right now....


bradylove - March 2

forgot to mention I used to put Riley in his exersaucer with toys to feed him his cereal in the morning! He was so much more into his toys that he barely noticed he was eating! lol!


melissa g. - March 2

hey girl, are you sure you arent my long lost twin?? b/c i have felt EXACTLY the same way. My dd is 12 months and such a picky eater and there are times where it has brought me to tears and raised my frustration level so high I started feeling really angry and I knew I was on the verge of losing it, and I felt SO bad about myself -- how could I not keep my cool about her eating, she's just a little baby! I realized I have to just let it go and not make this my issue -- she'll eat when she wants to, and if she doesnt love to eat everything, well, its not my fault. I have heard from many others, dont force it, it'll make things worse -- But I sympathize with you so so much, I felt so sad and disappointed that my dd want a happy eater who would eat anything I put in front of her -- but you know what -- she's healthy, very happy and a sweetie and no on is perfect! I too have a history of depression. I too felt so guilty and horrible for feeling so frustrated with her. It's ok, forgive yourself and just try to relax and deep breathe!


melissa g. - March 2

had a few typos there, hopefully it is still coherent!


SonyaM - March 2

Don't feel bad. I have jokingly threatened to pack my bags and leave for Mexico several times this week. I don't like my kids or my dh this week.


piratesmermaid - March 2

I've felt like that in the early mornings when she's up for the day and I didn't get a smidge of sleep during the night. If hubby's there I leaver her in bed with him and go sleep on the couch.


hello - March 2

Everyone has answered so well but inparticular i read melissas and rl's a couple of times and its very true. Its happened to me, its happened to everyone no doubt.... I felt mself get so mad once i couldnt believe my anger as she was spitting out her meals......Now i offer more finger food, even meat and veg she will pick up with her hands and rather do it herself, she is 21 months but still doesn't want much to do with the spoon embarresingly enough, so there is no battle when i serve it up like that.... u arent alone and i hope all gets better soon... we all need alone time, my little one is a at a friends now and i am relaxing after cleaing up, a few hrs does wonders..... Is there anyone to mind her, occasional care perhaps..... mum, a friend.... a babysitter to even pay..... i dont get much me time so when i do, i love it..... take care


ssmith - March 2

I can't thank you all enough for the supportive words. It means so much to hear that most of you have all felt similar frustrations at some point. I was feeling like the world's worst Mother, and felt like I was the only Mom to ever feel anger and frustration towards her child. I am relieved to know that it happens to us all! Luckily, shortly after I posted this, dd went down for her I was able to cool down and have some alone time. I don't really have anyone close at hand to watch dd, which is too bad because I sure could have used them today! Thanks again very much!


Lalla - March 3

hi ssmith. I understand your frustration - I sometimes end up with four different dishes to find out what dd is interested in. What is really important is that food time is not a struggle - so if she is not interested don't force the food, just take her out and let her eat later when she is hungry - like someone else said - at 10 months it is only for learning not for nutrition really. Also her belly is so small so a couple of spoonfulls at that time is perfectly ok - you can read about feeding and eating on I did when I was worried about dd and that calmed me down. She might also be going through a growth spurt or she might be teething - those are two things that makes my dd not want to eat at all. good luck and take a deep breath and when your dd refuses to eat and spits out her food - kiss her on the head and say oh you are not hungry now and take her out of the highchair. good luck.



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