OT Old Female Friend Called My Hubby

84 Replies
Kara H. - January 27

Ok, first of all I am not going to be one of those women who says that they know their hubby whould never cheat. As a hair stylist, at least once a week somebody tells me about how their hubby will never cheat, only to say that he did at the next appointment. --However, I think it would be highly unlikely for my hubby to cheat since I have made it clear how horribly painful/expensive/embarassing the ramafacations would be. -- Anyway, back in august, right after I had my baby, we ran into hubby's old female friend's brother. He invited us to the FF surprize 30th B-day party. We went and had lots of fun with FF and her husband. When we left, we all said that we should double date sometime. We had not heard from them since, but thought nothing of it since things get so busy with kids. Anyway, hubby ran into her brother Friday and he said that FF is getting a divorce. Hubby said he was sorry to hear about that and that was the end of the conversation. Well today - the next day - hubby tells me when I got home from work that FF called him, but he missed the call. He said he called her back to see what she wanted, but got her voicemail. While I really like FF, I am not comfortable with her caling my hubby. I calmly said to hubby that I have never shared my things well, so she will need to find someone elses shoulder to cry on and didn't say anything else since I didn't want to argue before hubby left for work. I knew she had a myspace page, so I was going to politely email her and say that hubby had said that she had called, and I was wondering if I could help her with something :} But her myspace page is gone! (well, it was covered with all of her wedding pics) Now I don't know how to address it! I don't want to make a big deal out of it since hubby has done nothing wrong, but I want to make sure that this doens't become a problem. Did I mention that she is totally gorgous, looks great for having a kid, and has a fabulous job? Gag!


Mellissa - January 27

ah.. the old female friend. don't you just hate those? I'm like you, I told dh If he ever gets the urge to cheat on me, he should just ask for a divorce, because he's going to get one when i find out anyhow... and i'll take him for everything he's worth. lol. why do these ff's always seem to contact happily married men when they are having issues with their personal lives? well, emailing her is something I would have done (i think we think alike!). but since you can't, is there any way you could get her number out of your hubby's phone and give her a call yourself? that wouldn't be so abd since you went to her party and all... technically ya'll are friends, kinda... right? Did your dh leave a message when he got her voicemail? Maybe if she calls back and ya'll are together he will let you answer the phone, then she can just talk to you about whatever it is she needs. i know, i know... i should be saying, "if you trust your hubby, then don't worry about it" but COME ON!! no matter how much you trust him, it's totally normal to feel a little threatened. but i do have to say that since your husband didn't hesitate to tell you she called, and he called her back, GOOD FOR HIM!! sounds like you have a good man. :)


Kara H. - January 27

I was thinking about calling her at work and saying we (me and her) could go out for coffee sometime if she ever just needed someone to talk. I don't think she would actually take me up on it, but if she did I would just cla__sify it under "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". I just finding highly suspicious she she hasn't been separated 2 wks and calls hubby who she had not talked to for 10 years prior to her birthday party.


CyndiG - January 27

I'm right there with you Kara! Women are sneaky! Especially lonely ones. How dare she call him. Even if it were innocent, she should have spoken with him THROUGH YOU! At least he told you. That's a huge plus!


Kara H. - January 27

Women openly hit on my hubby often and he usually just laughs it off and so do I. But this one is a triple threat - good looking, financially independant, and they were close friends all thru highschool. So I am definitely going to take a more proactive approach. I will be calling the cell phone company for detailed billing to help keep him honest.


ash2 - January 27

First of all i would have been p__sed that he even called her back...what was he thinking she wanted !!?? Your man needs to make it clear, and the only way to do that is to ignore her.Not call her, email her, just never come into contact with her ...EVER. I have always told hubby ( and maybe not everyone agrees) but i dont do double dates. Everyone that i know that has had an affair seems like they met the women through a wifes friend and the 2 couples were always together which is how it happened. And it could be totally innocent at first.


Ca__sJ - January 27

I agree with that, as far as calling her and checking up on him. I believe that you have to keep a very close eye on that sort of thing and don't leave any room for him to slip up. It's all about communicaton which it appears that you guys already have.


ash2 - January 27

BTW...im not saying he was hitting on her for calling her back, but " I " would get mad......not meaning you should.


bekysu - January 27

Kara. I am totally with you on this one. I am not going through this at the time but understand your need to be suspicious of her. My advice is to NOT let your hubby know what you are up to. All that does is make it easier for him/her or whoever to hide. I hope there is nothing going on. And, I'm sure that there isn't as long as he is open w/ you and comes to you first about what is going on. B/c one lie leads to all kinds.


Kara H. - January 27

I don't have a problem with double dating, since Chris and I both don't care for clingy friends. Yes it did bother me that he called her back, but more so that I wasn't present at the time. They do have a cla__smate of theirs that recently sustained a major spinal cord injury, so I imagine that is what hubby THOUGHT she was calling about and why he called her back. I am certainly going to address it tomorrow when hubby gets home.


Kara H. - January 27

bekysu - I'm certain nothing is going on, I'm just going to make sure that I nip this in the bud before it has the opportunity to become an issue. I think so many women overlook the little stuff like this and then are totally shocked and don't understand when something does happen. Maybe I should try to fix her up with somebody to get her off of the prowl!


ash2 - January 27

I understand why he did a little better, but he really needs to realize what it " looks" like from your point of view. Ask him what if it was you calling an old boyfriend regardless of what they wanted. ( not to start a fight with him, but let him know from the start what is unnaccaptable in your book )


ash2 - January 27

and you are absolutly right about how many women think it is so innocent ( and it may start off that way at first ) but we are all human and things happen. Your job as a wife is to prevent things that look and sound funny to you.


Keli - January 27

him telling you about it, means nothing is going on.


EMBERBABY - January 28

Where did she call him on his cell or on your home phone. If she calls again you can intercept the call and speak to her to feel her out and figure out what she wants. Did you hear the voicemail she left? I would be curious to hear it and hear what she sounded like. I think you should call her and ask her out for a cup of coffee, that sounds very reasonable.


Kara H. - January 28

I bet she called his cell phone, since that is the number her brother has. Chris has his cell phone turned on tonight at work, so I can't call to listen to see if he saved the voicemail. But I will get ahold of his phone tomorrow while he is in the shower.


k.p.j.e. - January 28

Hi there Kara. I hope you aren't getting too paranoid...just me, but it sounds like he is pretty trustworthy right? My only advice is DON'T do anything secretly. Keep everything out in the open. At least it will be easier for you to not obsess about it if you aren't having to be sneaky. I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong or anything but even thoug she is gorgeous (annoying!) he obviously loves you.



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