OT Old Female Friend Called My Hubby

84 Replies
vanja10 - April 4

Kara I had an issue with this about a year and a half ago and it was my hubby's ex gf.. she kept calling our house to invite us to 'her wedding', which never happened.. I kept telling the hubby that i don't feel comfortable and don't want her calling the house, but he didn't want to rock the boat.. he never returned her phone calls and she would call once every 6 months or so.. I kept telling him that girls don't just call their exes for no reason.. he didn't believe me... finally one time she called and i picked up the phone and pretended to be all friendly with her.. that's when i got some information out of her which made me think she was stalking him.. she knew where he worked and she was talking like he was part of her life and how her son misses him and i was like wtf.. then she told me something that my dh told his so called best friend and now she had this information. (basically it was that we were fighting and that we were going to divorce).. so interesting that she should call.. finally, she called for the second time and i told her that i don't feel comfortable with her calling and to stop calling my house.. she then got b___hy and said that she needed to hear that from my dh's mouth.. so i just pa__sed the phone over and he told her off.. *lol* But it took me over a year and a half to get him to do that and i was in so much agony.. each time she called, i just wanted to slap both of them.. her for calling and him for allowing it.. but now he's ditched his so called best friend (whom i really truly hated) and told her not to call.. so she hasn't called for at least over a year. moral of my story: do not trust any female, single or not... simple as that.. my hubby is now obsessed with golf, i don't think he would notice anything walking by.. *lol*

 

LollyM - April 4

Oh god, I thought that ho was outa' the picture! lol sorry for sounding a little b___hy there! Anyway, You should talk to hubby about it and hopefully agree to ignore all calls/ e mails, and add messages. Although, I am curious to look at her page to see what she's like! lol. Anyway, does dh even care about talking to this chick? If not, then it shouldn't be a biggie for him to ignore her. btw I LOVE the peeing a___logy! lol. I hate it when other women try to hit on my hunnb, it seems like every job he has, there is some hussy actually trying to hit on him or whatever. So irritating! Each time, I ask dh if he wants me to go over there and kick her but and we just laugh =P I agree, I know dh would never leave me (he would drown in laundry and unpaid bills LOL) I just don't trust any old chick around my man!

 

mandee25 - April 4

That peeihng a___logy was pretty clever. You should use it! lol On a serious note, why the hell is she still hara__sing him? He is married, taken, not available. Is she SLOW? Anyways, Kara H. I hope she makes like a tree and leaves. Some women!!! Geesh.......

 

Mellissa - April 4

Too bad she doesn't have a boyfriend or hubby. When my dh's ex kept calling him (psycho bi***) I let it go for a little while until she started the "I miss you, I love you" c___p (they broke up IN HIGH SCHOOL!! ). After that happened I told her to stop calling my house and writing dh letters (which I read before he did, btw..with his permission, of course..and they got thrown away and he never responded). When she didn't honor my request I simply called her boyfriend and told him he needed to tell her to stop stalking my hubby...that put an end to it right away. :) She never in a million years thought I'd go to him and rat her out.. but you know what? She wants to interfere with my relationship, I sure as hell was going to interfere with hers! Payback's a bi*** and so am I. :) hehehehehe... Chad says's I'm cruel! HA!

 

Kara H. - April 4

Lolly - She's the "tonya" at the bottom of my :friends"

 

EMBERBABY - April 4

I say nip it in the bud. Last time it looked like she was going to go away but now she is back. In order to get her to get it , you might just have to be direct. I would just ask dh to ask her to please stop contacting him. That it's inappropriate for a now single woman to be calling a MARRIED man. If he agrees then great. Because next time ( because she probably will contact him again ,until you give her a piece of your mind because she doesn't sound very bright) Then at that time you can go all out and scream at her "QUIT TRYING TO PEE ON MY TREE, IT"S MINE" lol. good luck.

 

austinsmom - April 4

I would prob tell hubby about the friend requested on your myspace and discuss this with him saying hey I want to delete this and I would prefer you not speak to her because there is no room in your lives for a person like her. I would tell him to put himself in your position ........would he like you having discussions with another man you have known for a while who is single and may or may not be interested in you? I mean what is the point? I had a similiar situation (me and hubby have been married 10 years) but it was me and not my hubby that got contacted.......I just told my hubby that one of my long lost bf had called my mom to talk about me and had asked me to call him.....of course I did not call him and of course my hubby would not have wanted me to......other situation is that I ran into another (not the same) ex bf at the bank one day and what did I do? I ignored him and almost ran him over cause he was trying so hard to talk to me so I said hi and moved on being clear I did not want to get into any conversations......I think it is only right to not deal with people from the past unless they are of the same s_x......the past is the past and should stay that way!!!!!! Me and hubby have had at length discussions about this topic and there would be no misunderstanding .......maybe yall should too so he will understand .......

 

EricaG - April 4

I think you should tell your hudband that he's your tree and that you don't like to share. Maybe reverse the scenerio on him and see how he thinks it would feel if some ex-boyfriend kept chasing after you. Then I think you should put her in her place. Right before my hubby and I were getting married, his ex-girlfriend started writing things on her blog about him, about how she knew him for so long that she feels like he's a part of her and that she misses him and he'll always have a special place in her heart. She also wrote that she's the only one who knows everything about him, the "Deepest parts of his soul" and things like that he doesn't like lettuce on hist tacos and that red gummy bears are his favorite and it hurts that someone else (meaning me) is going to take that away from her. She also said that I must be forcing him into getting married because she she knows him and he wouldn't want to marry me. (In reality, he had to ask me about 15 times if I would marry him before I said yes) She then started e-mailing him and trying to invite herself to our wedding and told him she had a gift for him, a CD, we don't know what it had on it because he told her he didn't want it. Well, needless to say she got an earfull from me and we never heard from her again. My friend said that occasionally she'll see something on her blog about us, but we just ignore it. We've moved on with our lives and as long as she doesn't try to worm her way back into our lives then it's fine. Oh.., sorry about the vent! I think you should put her in her place... hard.

 

austinsmom - April 4

I kinda got off subject but the point I was trying to make is that your hubby needs to tell her himself that .....he's too busy with his wife and children etc and if she does not listen then girl I would let loose on her....

 

rl- - April 4

well you could look at it this way your husband is telling you that she is calling and such and not hiding it at all that right there should tell you that you have nothing to worry about...my dh is that way I am like you I would never say "my hubby would NEVER cheat" but I highly doubt he would and he tells me things like if he runs into someone (ff ) or even told me the other day about the cute little "wing house" girl that was flirting with him at lunch LOL so I think if he did ever cheat he would end up telling me LOL but he knows how I feel about that sort of thing and I think if he did ever do it then he would want our marriage to be over but as I was saying that when your man tells you things on his own then you have nothing to worry about and should just leave it alone your hubby will feel good that you trusted him enough to just let it go rather than maybe having a nasty run in with FF while she may be one that can't be trusted your hubby can and therefore you have not got a thing to worry about. Get what I am saying?!?

 

Lchan - April 4

Kara, I'm coming into this late but I just have to tell you that I think you are doing an excellent job given the situation. I think you have handled the ff perfectly. You've made it quite clear that you and your dh are a couple and that ff needs to address you as a couple. I think you should continue with your current M.O. where you return ff's calls. Eventually she'll get the picture. She's going through that recent divorce/breakup thing where the previous "one that got away" suddenly looks better. She'll eventually snap out of it. You just need to maintain your strong "couple" approach until then. Sorry to hear you are going through this. I know how agonizing it can be. My DH 1st wife started calling him 10 yrs after their divorce b/c she was divorcing the guy that she cheated on my dh with. I just made sure that I returned all of her call and eventually she sunk back into the hole she was crawling out of.

 

MM - April 4

I haven't read all the posts... but I agree that marriages should be about trust. That said, I would be uneasy if a ff from the past started calling my hubby. Not because I don't trust him, but I don't trust other women & my husband is a little naive about women hitting on him. One of his friend's fiancees hit on him all the time & the two of them had no clue. She told MY close friends she was in love with dh. Only after she cheated on dh's friend with a guy we introduced her to did they realize what a sneaky, conniving girl she was. So I guess my advice would be to talk to your husband & let him know how you feel & what her intentions seem to be.

 

ash2 - April 4

Listen kara....that man is YOURS. YOUR territory, and he made the decision on your wedding day that he was yours when he signed that liscense. If you dont feel comfortable with her calling him and chating with him..TELL HER . And More than HER, TELL HIM. If he knows you are uncomfortable with it, he should respect that instead of making you a nervous wreck . There wouldnt be any question about it with me. She would be gone. If the role was reversed , like if he would have wanted you to not talk to one of your " guy friends ", then you would respect him too and not talk to him. Yeah these ladies are saying that you need to have " trust, trust, trust, " blah , blah, blah.....a marriage also needs respect. BTW...why dont you start looking up some ' guy friends " on the internet and see how he feels !!

 

MM - April 4

If my dh told me not to talk to an old friend, male or female, I'd be pretty p__sed.

 

LollyM - April 4

hey Kara, I just looked at her myspace. She isn't as pretty as you made her sound lady! Honestly, I think you are much more attractive, and imo she kind of looks like Chuckie in that picture. Not sure if it is the makeup, the lighting or those god awful eye- brows... anyway, she's not that hot. Her little girl is cute though, I agree, she should spend more time with her child and less time trying to be a s___t! I also just looked at my dh's myspace and he has all these comments from different female "Friends" from highschool I hate it and I don't trust them at all plus dh is always too nice so he would never know if he was really being hit on, and if he did, I'm not sure he would have the guts to say anything! Anyway, he doesn't hang out with these girls ever so I'm not that p__sed, but it's still irritating when I see some broad saying "hahaha, you're so silly" to my husband! Damn hoes, why can't they go get their own man? It's not our fault we got all the good ones! lol. Anyway, if dh had a girl he actually hung out with I would be LIVID. I don't hang out with any of my old guy friends (except mutual friends and dh and I hang out with them together) anyway, to me it's a respect issue. I think we all know how impossible it is to have a male- female friendship without one of the people falling for the other. In my experience, it is completely impossible and I wouldn't want to give my old guy friends the wrong idea even though dh says he wouldn't care if I hung out with them. anyway, I'm done with this rant, and good luck with the pest control! lol . Also, I think there is a difference between TELLING him he can't hang out with her, and telling him that it upsets you so that he can make the right decision! I would never tell dh not to do something, I would just tell him it makes me upset when he does it, and since he doesn't want me to be upset, he doesn't do whatever said thing is.

 

EMBERBABY - April 4

Lolly, I know why "they don't go get their own man" Because it is easier to prey on someone else's man (especially if the relationship is in trouble or boredom is setting in) it is easier to be a skank than faithful, it is easier to be someone's mistress than a wife!!! Unfreakinbelievable what these b___hes will do! So what's her account I want to take a peek at this skank? ;)

 

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