OT Sorry If TMI

20 Replies
KLC - February 8

Sorry if this thread is tmi but I figured I could get an honest answer here. LOL. So my husband and I have been together 7 years, he is 9 years older than me. Lately we have no s_x life. I mean once a month is pushing it. We have always had an amazing s_x life and now he never touches me. I have tried it all. The s_xy lingerie, taking the kids to his sisters for the night and planning a romantic night alone, I even had some s_xy pictures taken for him as a christmas gift and all he said was "these are nice thanks" WTF????? He claims he is always tired and when I try to initiate something he says "tomorrow ok honey" I now have a total complex about how I look. I've never felt so unattractive before. What is going on? Has anyone else had experience with this????

 

apr - February 8

hmmm could he be having an affair?

 

mayaB - February 8

My first instinct is just like apr......an affair ??............. How old is he??

 

sahmof3 - February 8

How old is he? My dh will be 40 this year and his s_x drive has taken a nose-dive in the past few years! At least we match in that dept. now ! Anyway, do you think he could be experiencing mild depression or something like that?

 

KLC - February 8

I can't imagine it would be an affair. Not to sound niave but he just isn't the type. He'd be they type to come to me and tell me before he did it. Plus he is always where he says he is going to be, I've checked...LOL He has no unacounted for time. He's 37, I'm 28

 

Rabbits07 - February 8

So how old is he? Maybe he's having a little trouble in the elevator dept...know what I mean? My dh went through a period of time where he didn't seem real interested and I kind of pushed and there were a couple of times that he kind of had trouble. I didn't make a big deal about it...didn't say anything about it either way. I think once he seen it wasn't a big deal he got over it and everything went back to normal. I wouldn't automatically think affair unless there are other indicators as well.

 

Rabbits07 - February 8

sorry, about the how old question.... we posted simultaneously.

 

Deirdra - February 8

OK so does your hubby snore? B/c my hubby has sleep apnea and its the same thing...a dn we are 19 and 22!!!! ive tried everything like youve said and gotten the same answers. now we found out sleep anpnea affects the s_x life and s_x drive of a person...he got a machine and BAM! totally different...

 

Aimes - February 8

okay, I am going to go out on a limb and just say this. I am not being mean, and it is in NO way an excuse for him, but how do you look after the baby? You said you have a complex now about how you look, but do you look drastically different after giving birth? Again, not that he shouldn't have s_x with you, but are you nursing or do you still have a lot of weight to lose or anything. It shouldn't make a difference--your husband should love you even more now that your a mom and want you even more, but a lot of guys are visual, and maybe that's part of the problem?? Or, are you having any money problems since the baby? Maybe he's stressed about paying the bills, etc. I don't know really what to tell you. Have you sat down and just asked him outright? I hope things get better. I have to say, our s_x life is not nearly as good as it used to be either since the baby. There was just a thing on the Today show about this this morning. I think a lot of couples go through it. Good luck to you :)

 

olivia - February 8

Can you just be upfront and ask him what is going on? Is he on any medications? Sometimes certain medications turn off the the s_x drive alltogether.

 

sahmof3 - February 8

hmm... interesting point Olivia. I had only thought about my dh's age as the reason, but he also went on cholesterol meds at about the same time...

 

LisaB - February 8

Is this your first child? I know for my dh and I since the lo was born ur s_x life has gotten down right weird (not in a good way) It seems like cuz we work different schedules our only day to have s_x is Sunday so then theres all this pressure for it to happen cuz if it doesn't it won't happen again until next week blah blah blah. But afte I had ds until about 8 months ppd s_x was painful and uncomfotable for me and I think dh is still a little afraid. So thats what has happen to us. Depression can make your s_x drive take a huge dip, also like rabbits said a little function problem. If you can get him to a doctor and get him checked out to rule out any physical problems. I'm with ya though it sucks!!

 

sahmof3 - February 8

I saw them on your myspace... I think you look good. I can't believe you had 4 kids!!! Wish I could say the same :-(

 

Erynn21 - February 8

It's the 7 year slump, I know for me and my dh around that mark we were more "room-mates" than husband and wife, we were just too comfortable w/ each other and s_x didn't seem interesting, it happens, complacency just comes along. Relationships suffer in this area more than most would ever care to admit. I don't automatically think affair, I think so much is the comfort level just takes over, this person has seen you at your best and your worst. Whenever this has happened in our relationship we have had a heart to heart and have found underlying problems were creating this tension, maybe plan to go have dinner and try to have an intimate conversation to divulge what is going on. Maybe he is having emotional/physical problems, I don't know, men can be so weird.

 

USMC_wife - February 8

I agree with sahmof3's last comment. You look great!! I wish my b___bs stayed uplike that when I lay down......... -cries- :(

 

USMC_wife - February 8

cool, I created a new word "uplike" lol

 

bekysu - February 8

Do you think it could be something medical on his part? Men are NOT open about there downfalls and impanticy (MS?) is the whole iceberg for the man. This is merely a suggestion. Let him know that he can say anything to you and you can support whatever it is he is going through. It could just be a phase also. I know I go through phases where I want nothing to do w/ my dh and I'm sure my dh has had the same feelings, but then, we get it back and go CRAZY on each other. Hopefully my dear, its just a phase. Good Luck. P.S. Don't take it personally. You are a mother, you are a beauty no matter what!

 

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