OT What Do I Do

5 Replies
abcd123 - January 27

im stuck between trying to help my sister and saving my marriage! mydh has always been understanding but now seems to not want anything to do with this whole issueand is spending more and more time at work/school and everywhere else but home. Some background --my sister has been divorced a couple of yrs back but never mentioned a word till last yr to either my parents nor me! My parents live in another countryand they finally visited me last yr caz I had my dd. We were able to convince my sis to come to us and she did. And then we saw how miserable she looked (she was very beautiful but now she was skinny as h__l and was looking malnurished! My parents were devasted and so was I and upon further questioning we finally came to know what happened. She still doesn't want to talk about it. My parents took her back to our country and said they would take her to a therapist but that never happened. she's adamant and didnt want to do anything with that and kept saying she's fine. Now she's back into the US(legal matters--she's a permanent resident and so couldn't stay longer outside the country.etc.) She is kinda of an introvert and doesn't interact much with others. I keep telling her to even talk with my dh but she just keeps to herself when he's around.i think she mauy be depressed./ given what had happened etc,,.she talks to herself sometimes- u know in whispers --how do i get her to stop doing that? shes staying with us now but my dh wans her out. i want her to get her a job and live independently caz life in our cpuntry for a divorced lady isnt the same. evereybody wants to meddle with ur life....i dont want her to think she doesnt even have me for support by telling her to go to an apt. how do i deal with this? i want it not to hurt my marriage but i dont want my sis to go into another state of deppession. :(


EMBERBABY - January 27

Has your dh given you a reason why he wants her out? I would suggest that you sit with dh and compromise on an amount of time that she were to stay living with you. If you do reach a compromise get her into therapy or sometype of professional help asap. Has she always "whispered" to herself or is this a new thing?


abcd123 - January 29

my dh is mad because it's his house too and I ddint talk to him before hand. I admit I did that wrong but I was scared of this whole situation happening thats why I was avoiding telling him until like 3 days before she came here. She hasn't whispered before...this is the way since her divorce. She doesn't want to go see any therapist or anything! :(( Now the thing has exploded with my inlaws not knowing it to now knowing it and they had a big argument with my parents. This is such a horrible situation! :(


abcd123 - January 29

help anybody? :(


Rabbits07 - January 29

The talking in whispers to herself sounds like your sister may be dealing with a problem greater than depression......perhaps schizophrenia. If I were you I would definitely encourage her to seek some type of counseling.


eclipse - January 29

She definitely needs to see a counselor. If you live in a few states and have reason to believe she may harm herself or others you can get her admitted for psych eval for 72 hours. My husband is an LCSW and it sounds like it could be quite a few different things, including schizophrenia, schizo-affective disorder as well as a specific type of bipolar disorder. It also may be she is just overwhelmed by the divorce and deeply depressed, and possibly working on an eating disorder linked to the depression. I would definitely value your marriage, and probably not having her stay with you is the best thing. Make sure from now on you keep your husband informed, and really hear his side of things. Then do what you have to to help her get the counseling she needs, and medication if necessary. I've been on antidepressants in the past, and they really helped me, and I was able to eventually go off of them, but they saved my life. Good luck.



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?