Question For Bonnie

13 Replies
Gen - May 18

Hi Bonnie, I don't know if you remember, but I responded to you quite a while ago about your sons reflux - I also had a Mason with severe reflux who began prevacid and is doing great now. I was just wondering a few things about your Mason vs. my Mason - my little guy is so active and strong, I think because he spent so much of his early time on his stomach vs. back. He was sitting alone at 4 1/2 months and crawing by 6. He is 7 months now and pulling up to a full stand. I know this is great, but it has caused a lot of problems for me at the same time. Mostly because he is soooo frustrated. He seems to whine more than other babies and when he can't do something or reach something he whines/cries/screams. It seems like he's frustrated with his own body. Do you think this whiney behaviour comes from the fact they cried so much as newborns? Do you think they learned so early on that crying is the way to communicate? When he's happy he is the happiest baby ever, but can turn on a dime. I would describe him as high maintenance +++! I believe his reflux is gone as we had him at the specialist fo the follow up appt. and she took him off the prevacid. He seems to be doing fine without it so I'm glad that part of my life is over!!! But do you think what they went through as newborns has shaped current behaviour? If so how are you dealing with it? None of my friends with babies have a day like mine!!!! Although we have babies the same age I seem to be living a totally different life with my Mason, than they do. Any thoughts?

 

Bonnie - May 18

Heya Gen, I have to run just now. Just wanted to elt you know I saw your post. I'llpop back on when Mason is in bed. :D

 

kimberley - May 18

Hi Gen...hope you dont mind me b___ting in...My Brooke has reflux, she is 3 1/2 months old. I belong to the same forum as bonnie, so thought I wold share too. Brooke at present is pain free from reflux and doing so much better, BUT she is a hih maintenance baby too! When shes happy it is all good, but she needs constant stimulation. My Doctor mentioned to me about "irritable baby syndrome" and that they have just done a study on it, and 1 in 4 babies have it...they just get irritated at a lot of things. Brooke has started 1 day, daycare a week, as I have gone back to work 1 day and 1 night a week...and she loved it, all the extra activity and faces etc really stimulated her! I was actually really worried about her, but they said she was the happiest baby ALL day.....so I am very pleased, and I think it is because she is getting something to occupy her all day, except boring mum. Brooke can be so grumpy with me, but as soon as her dad comes home, she is all smiles and has him wrapped her roound her finger.....I think she gets bored with me. Maybe because of the reflux, and all the extra attention they have needed, they just need more.....I just thought I would toss this out there :)

 

kimberley - May 18

Just thought I would add......I may pose this question to the infantrefluxdisease.co members and see what they think...I will get back to you. Sorry again for hijacking your thread :-s

 

kimberley - May 18

Just thought I would add......I may pose this question to the infantrefluxdisease.com members and see what they think...I will get back to you. Sorry again for hijacking your thread :-s

 

Bonnie - May 18

Ya know, it is a very interesting question because Mason is also what I would call super high-maintenece. When I hear people say that infants cannot throw temper tantrums, I just laugh....they have obviously not met Maosn, lol. Mason can go from screaming like someone is killing him to laughing away faster than it takes me to blink. He gets bored SO easily! I call him my bi-polar baby. And Kimberly, like you, Mason is all happy when he sees his daddy. I worry about how he will be when gets to moving like Gen's baby does. I think there will be no stopping him, lol. I do wonder if all the crying from the reflux caused him to be so high maintenence, or if that was just the personality he was born with. I would be afraid to know the real answer to that because if all that reflux pain did this to him I would be incredibly angry. Rephrase that, I already AM incredibly angry. I am angry the ped blew it off as colic, I am angry the family thought I was just an over-protective mother, I am angry I had to diagnose him myself with a print out from the Web to get the ped to listen, I am angry that we went through 4 formulas, including Neocate at over $1,000 per month because the ped thought he was just intolerant, I am angry that we went through TWO different reflux medications (at what I later learned was the wrong dose on both) before the ped finally gave up and sent us to a GI...and then of course we had to wait 2 weeks to get in and another 2 weeks for the medicine to kick in. For 2 months I had a baby who slept less than 7 hours in a 24 hour period and would scream in horrible pain for 10+ hours inconsolably and there was not one thing I could do about it because no one would listen to me or help my son. I am angry that I considered dropping himoff at the hospital just so that SOMEONE would help him and stop his pain. I am angry that I missed out on a lot of those first 2 months because Mason was miserable and so was I.........do I suspect reflux caused him to be so moody now? Yes. Do I want to know that for sure? No.......I might lose my mind and go psycho on all the people that wouldn't help me, lol.

 

Bonnie - May 18

LOL....wow, sorry for the vent but it sure felt good!! :D On the happier note, even though Mason is very moody, he is no longer in any pain and has lots of smiles and laughs too. Everytime he smiles it just melts my heart! As far as the bahavior goes.....it just takes tougher parenting. We had to learn to do CIO (based on the GI's advice) to teach him how to sleep (once he was in no pain) and he now sleeps 10-12 hours a night. I play with him most of the day and vary his activities often to keep him busy. But sometimes he just needs to let off a little steam and I have learned that it is okay to do that. I like to think Mason came tome for a reason because it takes a lot of patience as you both know. ;)

 

YC - May 18

Just wanted to let you all know I feel your pain. Kai (my dd) seems to have grown out of the reflux and is off meds but is so high maintenace. I was hoping this was something she would grow out of but Gen I see your Mason is 7 months and still high maintenace. Uh oh. Glad I have you ladies to talk to. Bonnie you are the refux queen. Just curious...to all of you...is this your first baby? If so do you wat any more?

 

Bonnie - May 18

Yes and no. I have 12 year old twins that live with me. I would LOVE to have another one as Mason is MY first. But I am 35 and we have just enough money to get by. We just can't afford another one. But if I win the lottery anytime soon....I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

 

Bonnie - May 18

I don't think they will grow out of high maintenence. I think they just need strong parenting to help them learn how to deal with their emotions. It's just a little more work for us all but well worth it. ;)

 

Bonnie - May 18

ugh...and that was step-twins

 

Gen - May 19

I totally could have written your "vent" post Bonnie. I have actually just added and extra 6 months to my 1 year mat leave because I felt soooo ripped off with the first few months. I VERY much realize how lucky we are to have had children with no MAJOR problems but...I think this was the most severe "non-problem" !!! I have never been so sick/depressed/scared in my LIFE! As a first time mom this really shook me up. I also feel I maybe lack confidence at this point with Mason, because of all the c___p from earlier on. I think I'm extra sensitive to ANY crying or whining because he had me so rattled before - it's hard to snap out of it and really believe he is a normal baby at this point. Do you feel like that? I used the CIO method to get him to sleep at 3 months because I figured he's crying anyway - might as well learn something in the process. Cruel? Perhaps, but he did learn to be a good sleeper (11 hrs at night and 2 decent naps). I do admit things are much more fun since he's been able to interact more and he is the most beautiful little spirit when we are out, but like Kimberley said he is WAY crankier with me than others. I also think he is a highly intelligent baby (not cause he's mine but others have specifically commented on his ablilities and alertness at this point) which I feel creates boredom around our house too. He's like a different baby when we are out, but as you know I can't be out ALL the time! I think the constant crying from before has shaped his behaviour as well. Teething has been a b___h for him compared to other babies. He is demanding and unpredictable at home, but I swear people think I'm a nutcase if I try to tell them this because he is so friendly and fun when we're out. I've stopped telling even my own mother about his behaviour at home because I think everyone thinks I'm mental. And if I hear "post-partum" one more time I'm going to freak out!!!! I KNOW it's not me and I have an extremely difficult baby but I sure hope things turn out for the best in the long run. He's smart, active, advanced and intense which may be just the qualities I would wish for in a kid. Lets keep in touch if you don't mind, because no one else seems to understand my situation with him unless they've lived it. I'd love to know if your Mason exhibits some of the things my Mason has shown. Thanks!

 

Bonnie - May 19

LOL I could have written YOUR last 2 posts. Mason is exactly the same. I was a little different with the crying. I think I just got so numb to it back then. We also did CIO once the reflux was under control and Mason also sleeps 11-12 hours every night. People are so against "CIO" these days. Makes me wonder how WE ever turned out :P Sometimes you just have to do what is right for the child even if they don't like it. Then again, maybe I would feel different on that had I had an easy-going baby. Now when I hear him cry though it is very tough. It's so different when he smiles and has so much personality. But I have learned when he needs something verses when he needs to let off a little steam. My e-mail is [email protected] message me. Have you been to the site Kimberly and I go to? I post on there often (I am Mirra on that board). I have noticed reflux tends to repeat itself as a lot of people over there have mroe than one with reflux. :(

 

kimberley - May 19

Gen....Brooke is my 4th child. My first son who is 18, may have been reflux, but he was never diagnosed, as 18 yrs ago it was not talked about much, plus because I was only 18...I just always thought he was difficult because of my age and in-experience. My next 2 babies (with a different dad to my 18 yr old) were perfect...they were dream babies, ate and slept......Then Brooke, the same dad as the other 2, but this terrible reflux, I also had a difficult pregnancy, very bad morning sickness, low lying placenta, c-section...everything, plus I lost 10 kilo while pregnant....and then a reflux baby, I was soooo not expecting it. Reflux is not in either of our families....so I cant say it is heriditary...I put it down to my c___ppy appet_te while pregnant, but who knows. If Brooke had been my first...I am not sure if I would have had any more, but I am hugely maternal...so I probably would have. Because I have had 2 perfect babies, this was a real eye opener...........I really feel for 1st time mommies who have a baby with reflux, as it makes you second guess yourselves constantly, that you are doing something ...wrong.....This experience will make you stronger, and god only gives babies like these to parents that can cope...he knows.......If you had any more, sure they may have reflux, but they might not have....but if they do, as you have said, you are experienced now...Even having a baby without reflux the first baby is always hardest. I think your doing a great job, bother Gen and Bonnie.....and if you want more babies, I say go for it......reflux does pa__s, sure GERD can become a complication, but not always. Gen I will get back to you about the reflux question, or you could join Bonnie and I at infantrefluxdisease.com as the support over there is tremendous...just head to the message boards :)

 

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