Relative Roughing Up Shaking Baby

5 Replies
Mella - May 4

My husband is from India and I find it really distrubing that his relative have this habit of bouncing my newborn really hard. His head will be shaking all over the place and when I try to take him away they won't give him back. It seems to be a big cultural difference since Americans are taught not to shake a young baby. Suggestions on handling this in the future. Right now I'm avoiding bringing him out around them.


SRC - May 4

Many people think that bouncing a baby is just "showing love". Although your in-law's mean well and they probably love the baby to bits, bouncing the baby so hard is dangerous. Be tactful, laugh and say, "not so hard, please," (over and over again), something to basically convey your alarm without creating unpleasantness. Be persistent in saying this, blame yourself if necessary ("Yes, I'm a nervous mommie") in order to save the family relationship, but do persist so that they get the idea that it is a serious matter for you. Eventually, they will back off. If they laugh off your worries, then move to stage 2. Rope in your husband to support you. Perhaps he can take the baby away from them? Then it won't be a case of "that wicked witch, my daughter-in-law who doesn't let me hold my grandson." Do everything in your power to protect your baby and maintain the family relationship too. But in the event of irreconciliable differences, baby comes first.


Jbear - May 5

Shaking the baby can cause serious damage. You should explain it to your husband, and tell him to explain it to his relatives. You can even tell him that you're worried that the baby will be injured, and that whichever relative actually shook the baby could face criminal charges.


Lisa - May 6

I agree with Jbear....shaking a baby can be very dangerous and i would insist that they be very careful when handling your baby. Dont 'ask' them, TELL them you do NOT want them to shake the baby around like that!! If i were in your position i could not refrain from taking him away.


merta - May 6

make up something, tell them you have to change the baby or its time to feed the baby or you think you see something on the babies face and im pretty sure theyll stop to look, and if they do it again tell them you saw it gain and you have to wash the babys face off. i dont know... but if its my husbands relative and i wouldnt want too cause a conflict i would make up stuff to destract them...hell if they dont stop tell them the baby has a headache. i would most definitly try to avoid giving the baby back to the bouncer as long as i can, and please please dont leave the baby alone with the bouncer please.


Rachel - May 9

Screw being polite. This is your baby. Its your responsibility to keep it safe. You husband must take an active role. Only let them hold the baby if they wont repeat the behavior. Otherwise, dont let them hold your baby at all. They must respect your wishes.



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