Separation Anxiety

4 Replies
Stephanie ~Skyes Mom~ - March 24

Usually it is infants who go through the stages of separation anxiety, and of chores mine did. But now it is me that is going through it. Since birth my infant has slept in the bed next to me. She took up most of the bed and my husband has fallen out of bed on more then 10 occasions. Sense she was born I had a fear of her stopping breathing so it comforted me to have her right next to me. Now she is 8 months old and in her crib, she is doing great in there, but for me it's not so great. I am always checking on her and accidentally waking her up in the process. I have only left her side for at the most 1 hour sense birth because my husband made me go out and walk to get out for a while. The first time I went for a walk it took me like 2 seconds to run right back to her. Am I an over baring mother? I feel as though I am smothering her to death, half the time she is wanting alone time, and I don't like that she wants alone time so i just watch her as I sit right next to her! I see nothing wrong with it but my husband wants me to go to counselling for being so darn attached. Any clues on how the heck I can stop my overbearing mothering?

 

Maureen - March 25

Hi Stephanie, I don't think that this is "Over bearing" actually. I think it sounds more like Anxiety to me. I personally don't find anything wrong with you looking out for your child. Sure, you might be percieved as alittle too causious, but personally I think it's okay. You'll probably relax more when you see your baby is taking more initiative on her own. I know when my baby started sleeping in the crib I was really beside myself and could not sleep at all. But now I see that it's okay. Sometimes I wish he was still with me in our room so I could hear his breathing, but we have a Monitor, so that's great. Anyways, Skyes is very LUCKY to have a Loving and concerned Mother like you. Enjoy your baby. Oh yes, if you still feel concerned about this, why not ask the Dr.?

 

Stephanie ~Skyes Mom~ - March 25

Thanks Maureen! I feel like a great mom, but a very almost to over protective mom as well. She is doing so much all on her own, she says 3 complete full words, crawls, stands, and climbs onto things. She is very smart and has always been smart, she even shocks the doctors with her early abilities like saying clearly no running words. She would say Dad and Mom at 5 and a half months old. She is the most precious and the best thing that has ever happened to my husband and I. I just feel so sad when she is not around. At night once she goes to bed I take her beloved talking care bear and hug the stuffed care bear and my heart feels empty like I lost something. I feel as though this is definitely going to embarra__s her in the long run! And I am not sure that being this overly protective and worried is very good for me either. I will talk to a doctor about it, thank you again!

 

Ariana - March 26

Hey, I feel the exact same way, my daughter likes sleeping in her crib but i dont, i feel much better if she sleeps next to me in my bed becuase im affraid if she stops breathing or im terrified of SIDS. She is just 2 mo. but everyone tells me to put her in her crib u know but i dont want to, atleast not now. Also my bf wants to go out with me like to the movies, and of course we cant take the baby and his cousin has offered to take care of her, its not that i dont trust her but I just dont want to leave her alone, i think i can take better care of her then anybody, and so my bf gets mad and everyone else around me thinks im crazy and that im gonna go crazy if i dont get out the house atleast for a couple of hours so i can relax. but i really dont think its necessary, does this sound crazy?

 

Skyes momma and proud to be :) - March 27

Ariana, heck no you are not crazy! I only do things that could involve my baby! If my baby can not come with me, I will not go! You do need to get out though for sure! But you can get out with baby! I got involved in a child play group and go at least once a week. I get to talk to other mothers about our children and our children get to play with each other. It is also a great learning experience for your child, builds their social skills early and also my daughter has learnt how to do many things by seeing other children do it! Look into a children's center, they have one even in the smallest of towns! My daughter is nursed so of chores I cant go anywhere, and I wouldn't ever want to. Don't listen to what other people say or tell you! You know yourself and that baby better then ANYONE else in this world! And let your boyfriend know to respect that you will do it on your own time, there are MANY, many years to come so why rush anything. This is your time, and the best time to be always with and around your child. This is the ages where they learn most of everything, the first 5 years of a childes life is who they become! And you are right not to trust just anyone! Even the people you think to be the best for looking after your child may not be! You can NEVER be too carefully with your child! Just make sure to take time out for yourself during babies nap time, at least the first 15 minutes because I know once I start my daily cleaning I DONT STOP! He he. Your not crazy, your a mom!

 

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