So Scared

15 Replies
xXx-Lesley-xXx - December 14

I am absolutly petrified! You hear about women getting their kids took off them for nothing, getting flasly accused of abuse/neglect. I don't do either to any of my kids but I am still so scared that Social Services will take them. Kids are always getting sc__pes and bruises I know that, but my daughter is so clumsy at times. She walks into everything which usually results in little bruises. Am I the only one to feel like this? Is it normal? I was nothing like this before I had my youngest. Could I have postnatle depression? I seriously don't know what is up with me. I got PD after my 1st baby and it was nothing like I'm feeling now. Back then it was a miracle if I got out of bed. Now I am always on the move, can't seem to relax. My house has to be spotless - incase they do come out for any reason.


Mommy - December 14

I know a family with 11 kids. They live in a 2 bedroom trailer that is constantly messy, has roaches, lice and smells really bad. Family Services were called on them because their 2 year old would run around the park naked and alone. They weren't taken away. They were left there, in the mess, with lice and roaches and no one to watch them over like 15 years old. It is horrible. I doubt that you will get in trouble for nothing.


Jbear - December 14

Maybe your daughter needs gla__ses...I remember when I got gla__ses, it was because I kept walking into walls and furniture. It is possible to have postpartum anxiety...I know because I had it for about two months after my second baby. I was fine at home, but I would get really nervous, have trouble breathing, start sweating and feel like I was going to fall down whenever I was in a public place. It seems to have pa__sed now. I was taking kava for it, but you can't take that for very long.


The real Lissi - December 14

Lesley, I feel the same way. In the first few weeks, when my daughter was constantly being checked over by the midwife, then the health visitor, I was paranoid that she would think I wasn't a fit mother and take her away! I was very defencive, when she asked me a question. I was so gald when they stopped coming. I never see the health visitor at the baby clinic, I just go to get her weighed, but still feel like she's watching me from across the room waiting for me to slip up! I would never harm my baby either, but these stories about parents being wrongly accused of abuse, really play on my mind.


The real Lissi - December 14

I meant defensive. :)


The real Lissi - December 14

Oh, and I was glad not gald. Never been gald in my life!


xXx-Lesley-xXx - December 14

I do try my best at bringing them up but I still feel I could try harder. How would I know if my daughter needs gla__ses? My oldest son wears them, I wear them and so does my partner, so it is quite possible she will need them. She just doesn't look where she is going. - There is tons of familys been ripped apart by lies. I'm scared of even going to the doctors with them incase they think I'm doing soemthing wrong. The other day Leigh fell over in the school yard and sc___ped her face and bust her lip. She now has marks where that happened. I try not to keep her hidden away, cos tht will make people suspicious, but I worry they will think badly of me - or worse, call in SS. I watched a programme the other day, a woman and man got locked up and served 10 years in prison before the truth came out that they were innocent. I couldn't imagine going all that long without seeing my babies never mind not being able to cuddle them.


Jbear - December 14

I found a quiz to see if your child needs eyegla__ses. Here's the link: (there are no dashes in it, in case it adds any). My daughter doesn't look where she's going, ever, and sometimes she squints, so I'm going to have her eyes tested soon. I just read about how they test them. They dialate the pupil and shine a light in it. The reflection of the light shows any problems. If there are problems, the opthamologist will hold corrective lenses in front of each eye until the reflection is normal. It sounds really strange. I can't imagine my daughter letting anyone do that, but I guess we'll see. About your worries, I think all of us worry from time to time. The other day I was in the library and my daughter went up to the librarian and said at the top of her lungs, "I have to be quiet or mommy will spank my ASS." I told her, "Maybe I should do it instead of always just talking about it," and we both laughed...but then I was thinking, if I check out any books she'll have my name, and what if she calls cps on me...I think it crosses all of our minds sometimes. Of course, I've seen children who were terribly neglected, I've even called cps when I felt I had to (a 3 year old who was always sitting outside of the store I managed, with no underpants and no sweater...I would always feed her and I don't think she ate otherwise, I even started buying her clothes) but I've also heard about people who had trouble with cps who hadn't done anything. I guess if you're worrying to the point that it keeps you from being able to sleep, or really interferes with your daily life, it might be anxiety. Otherwise it's probably just the fear that the rest of us have sometimes. I even remember my mom worrying about it...once my sister and I took our baby sister on a walk, and we stopped on a corner to have a fistfight, and the baby fell out of the wagon onto her head. She had a goose egg on her forehead and my mom actually went out and bought a bunch of hats, from a store not a garage sale, so she had to have been really worried.


Jamie - December 14

I worry, too. My daughter has mongolian spots on her bum, that look *exactly* like bruises left from being spanked. When I first saw them, the day after she was born, I seriously thought one of the nurses had hit her. The really bad part is, we're Caucasion, and mongolian spots don't generally occur in Caucasion children; I've been so paranoid ever since, that even though we only have close friends babysit, I still made sure I got a memo from the doctor stating the spots have been there since birth, and I took a photograph of them, to prove that they haven't changed or anything - since bruises change shape and color over just a few days, and birthmarks typically take months to years, if they ever change. I don't want to be accused of beating my infant and I think I just might die if someone tried to take her from me.


bump - December 14



Donna - December 14

Don't worry, everything will be OK. But here's a tip for you. Before I discovered it I had bananna kid (bruises all over). It's a homeopathic remedy called arnica. I get it in a tube it's made by Boericke & Tafel and it's called Arniflora Arnica Gel. I keep one tube in my purse and one in the bathroom. Whenever there's an accident I rub it on. It is cool and soothing and makes bruises either not come up at all (if used right away) or go away much faster. Reapply throughout the day to those "bad ones". Don't use it if the skin is scratched. It stings like crazy. They also have arnica in homeopathic tablet form. Ask about these at your health food store. Arnica has really made me feel better about how other people think about my mothering. It's embara__sing to have a bruised up kid! The eye exam is a good idea. It's normal for kids to not pay attention to where they're going. Everything is so new and interesting that they are easily distracted.


Bonnie - December 14

I used to do some volunteer work for social services. Most of the stories you hear about people getting their kids taken away, or that you can't even spank your children are untrue. I had to do a lot of investigation work for abused kids and they really did a ton of training, and I'm not even one of the social workers. They get trained very well on how to spot abuse in families. For example, you mentioned bruising.....some kids are naturally clumsy and social workers get trained to spot the difference. It's normal for kids to have lots of bruises on certain parts of their body. Generally speaking, the harder areas that they are most likely to hit such as the knees, ankles, albows, etc. Thinik about it, when you have a fall or crash into something, those are the areas that get hurt. On the other hand, a child who has bruises across the thighs, tummy, fleshier areas, etc. is likely to raise a big red flag. And when people beat their kids they aim for those larger areas and not places like knees. There are many things that they get trained for and do a pretty good job of spotting the difference. Please try to relax, you will be fine. :)


FF - December 14

I'm sure you don't have anything to worry about. I caught my son's arm in his stroller latch right before his two week appointment and I was SO nervous that the doctor would think I hurt him on purpose! She asked me what happened and I told her, and she was very understanding. She let me know that all moms and kids have accidents. He's almost 5 months old now and is constantly scratching himself, rubbing raw from the zipper on the neck of his pjs, or some other little irritation. I'm always so worried someone will think I gave him those little sc___pes! But I think proffesionals are trained to be able to tell the difference between abuse and normal kid accidents. I hope you feel better soon Lesley!


xXx-Lesley-xXx - December 15

We have our 6 week check-up next Thursday. They get you to od a post natal depression questionaire to see fi you have it. So I suppose I will find out. My health visitor is always asking if I feel like I wanna hurt myself of the kids. Why would I ever do that? When they are touching things they shouldn't touch I tap their hands but thats about as far as I go. I do shout at them, and I think I do it too much. Emotional hurt causes more damage them physical. I just can't stop it. I'm always knackered, I get no help with housework or the kids. I feel so alone.


Jbear - December 15

We don't have heath visitors here, but I've had several nurses ask me questions like that. Usually they're asking if my husband beats me. The first time I heard that I burst out laughing, because anyone who's seen my husband...well anyhow, picture jack sprat and his wife from the nursery rhyme and that's us. Anyhow, I laughed, and then they asked if I beat my husband...I suppose they're told to ask questions like that. It's nothing personal when they ask you, just something to check off on a list. I yell at my daughter sometimes too. I think all parents probably do, unless they're mute. (that was a joke, I'm trying to cheer you up) Sometimes my daughter doesn't hear me until I yell at her, no matter how much I talk. And it really sucks to be the only one who cleans up, while the rest of the family is making messes. Last night I was feeding the baby after dinner and I looked over and my husband's plate was upside down, glued to the quilt I've probably spent 50 hours working on, with a bunch of syrup and b___ter. I was so p__sed...after he left for work I went through his stuff looking for something of his to destroy, but I had to settle for deleting all his nudie wallpapers for his cell phone. Anyhow, I hate being the only one who cleans up, folding his underpants and scrubbing the rings out of his collars, while he is so careless with my stuff.


xXx-Lesley-xXx - December 16

A miracle has happened! I got up this morning and the kitchen had been cleaned and tidied, Leigh dressed and Adam was at school! Maybe nagging does work.......



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