Sorry Not Baby Care But Totally Stressed Over Marriage

6 Replies
frustrated and angry - October 20

Okay, how can I love my daughter sooo much but practically hate my husband. It seems lately that we can't go 1 day without arguing. He is so fast to get angry at me and I just get annoyed and frustrated with him. I am on maternity leave, and he just lost his job. (bad boss, not his fault to be fair) but that was 2 weeks ago and he hasn't even done anything to find a new job! I could understand if he spent tons of time with our 5 week old daughter, but he sits at his computer and plays his STUPID game for hours on end! He doesn't even respond half the time when I say something to him. When he wakes up he jumps on his computer right away claiming he needs a full hour to wake up! If I even really try to say anything to him pertaining about later plans for the day, he gets mad saying that "I'm jumping on his case and nagging him first thing in the moring!" yesterday, I totally snapped on him and told him that it is very babyish of him to need an hour to wake up everyday. He is a 30 year old man and it is a luxury to be able to sit around for an hour every morning completely devoid of responsibilty. Don't get me wrong, I love taking care of my daughter, but I hardly get any help from him, unless I specifically ask for it. Okay, I will stop rambling. I think I needed to vent. But I just don't know what to do. Lately, I feel like I don't even know him; like he's not the man I married. I love my husband and I want our daughter to grow up with both parents, but I honestly how to make it work. Please help!!


Jamie - October 20

I had a similar husband was on his computer if he wasn't at work, leaving me to take care of our daughter. So...since he didn't help me, I stopped helping him. I didn't wash his laundry, fix his meals, do his dishes. It took 6 days before he figured it out.


Lost - October 20

He seems seriously depressed and I think he needs to get help the hard part is convincing him of this . I'd say he's been beaten down pretty hard by his trials . leaning on computer games and laziness are very good signs of this . I think he's hopeing his lack of doing anything will calm himself enough to gain a new momentum lets just hope he doesn't get too used to it .


to lost - October 20

OMG! your'e so right! I don't know how I didn't see it before. He also has a court date coming up which could send him to prison (just a small detail, right?) You're right though: it'll be hard to convince him of it. He thinks he's always right and he thinks depression and anti depressants are a sham. Unfortunately, I have a feeling this could last a while.


Only because I am a Guy - October 20

chances are it will last awhile ... please feel free to b___h at him about getting something in specific done that takes a little time to do ... I can't see how he will hate you for it if you hit him with to do projects after say an hour of his games . When men need help they can give up so fast if they can't see a way to just jump out there and get another job yet if you have to get a heavy five gallon pail up the ladder and onto the roof they will quickly jump in and do it for you because they find it a little more appropriate regardless how depressed and lazy they may be . In his state he would probably like nothing better than a job to come along and ask for his help because the job appropriately needs and wants him . He needs help .


Jbear - October 20

There was a time when my husband got fired for something really dumb. He was really depressed for about two months afterwards and wouldn't look for another job. Of course, this was before we had kids and our rent was like $400 a month, so I just worked extra shifts to cover the bills until he was himself again. I was really mad at first, but he had really liked his job and it was almost as if he had to go through a grieving period before he could get another one.


karine - October 21

WOW....i dont know what to say. its sad that you and daughter have to go through that. my hubby lately seems to be going on the pc, everytime he thinks that theirs is nothing todo...its frustrating BUT...if i nag just a little. and tell him to stop being lazy...he will get up as fast as he got on LOL and ask what he can do to help out LOL..i babysite from monday to friday. till somtimes 7pm. and we have the pc in the kitchen ,so i cant stand him on it. especially when i have alot of kids running around on tuesdays....and its his day off LOL. he is good thought. he always helped but he does lose patience at the kids a little more. try out what jamie says....dont do anything for him anymore, he'll prob. ask why....tell him, because you have too many things to do with the baby and the house. you dont have time for food and laundry. that you need help



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